


Fighting for Eros

by MerWhoLocked



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Even Though They Are Wrong, Explicit References to Depression, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mari is the best sister!, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Omega!Yuuri, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Possessive Behavior, Protective Victor, References to Suicide, Triggers, Victor is a Dork in Love, Yuuri's Parents Do What They Think Is Best, alpha!Victor, anxious yuuri, implied slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-10 23:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8943889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerWhoLocked/pseuds/MerWhoLocked
Summary: There is a rumor floating around that Yuuri killed his husband. As an omega, Yuuri’s life had been mandated the moment he presented. His dream of becoming a competitive figure skater had been put on permanent hiatus and his life revolved around finding an eligible Alpha to settle down with and marry. After the mysterious circumstances of his husband’s death, Yuuri is suddenly on the market again but his prospects don't look so good. Most consider him to be undesirable, chastity soiled and past suitable marrying age. That and the rumors of his contribution to his husband’s death and his inability to bear children after four years of marriage keep the suitors at bay.In town for the World Championship after winning his fifth consecutive gold at the Grand Prix Finals and rethinking his whole career, Victor is worried he’s missed out on the chance to find love. Until he decided to take a spontaneous trip to a ninja castle on a southwestern island of Kyushu and finds the omega of his dreams. He’d only seen him once and already he could see himself settling down with him. Even the dark rumors surrounding this mysterious omega don’t dissuade him… much.





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Yuri On ICE! story so I hope everything goes well. I'm too nervous to watch the finale that airs today so I poured all that energy into writing this. This is slightly AU though will bleed into canon. Mistakes are my own, though I tried my hardest to catch them all. It was beta read by my best friend but she's slightly bias.
> 
> **Please be aware of the tags. There is very heavily implied rape and sexual abuse though it is contextual and non-graphic. If that is not to your liking, please don't read past this note.

Yuuri had known that his dreams were never going to come true the summer he turned thirteen. Most boys his age wanted to be Idols, movie stars and professional singers, but Yuuri just wanted to ice skate. At the age of five, his mom had signed him up to take ballet lessons with a family friend because he was too shy for his own good. She thought that by making him socialize, it would bring her little boy out of his shell and ballet was the only activity he’d consider practicing without going into a sulk about it. He’d been attending lessons with Minako for about a year when he’d met the new girl who moved from Tokyo. Yuuko was his first and only friend. He would be forever grateful for her since she was the one who introduced him to ice skating, his one true passion.

Toshiyo had given his son a patient look when he found out about the ballet lessons and Hiroko eased his worries by reminding her husband that personality and life choices didn’t dictate a person’s second gender. There was no reason he couldn’t be an alpha and a ballerina. They’d gotten lucky with Mari, who’d presented as an Alpha when she was ten years old and both Yuuri’s parents were hoping that despite his quiet disposition, their only son would present as an alpha as well. It wasn’t unheard of. The possibility of two beta’s having alpha children was rare but not impossible. Typically two betas only bred betas and omegas while research suggested that an alpha and an omega had a better chance at getting alpha children.

Their hopes were shattered when they’d woken up one summer morning to the powerful scent of an omega’s first heart. It permeated the entire bath house, forcing Toshiyo to close the onsen for the day and keep his son sequestered from their guests while Hiroko went to take care of him. Like most first heats, Yuuri remembered very little of it. The instinct to mate was so strong that it blocked out any other biological function besides the clawing need inside of him that would only be satiated by an Alpha. His first heat had been so bad that Mari had been forced to stand outside his room so that her younger brother could smell her calming pheromones. The doctors had said that his potent reaction was a sign of high fertility and ultimately was in his favor to attract a respectable Alpha.

Four days after his heat ended, Yuuri realized that nothing was ever going to be the same again. He would never become a nationally ranked figure skater and he would always be judged by his Alpha’s merits, not his own. He’d locked himself in his room and starved himself for three days the day he and his dad came home from the Omegan-Registrar Organization, where he’d been lawfully registered as someone else’s property and assigned a caretaker. Until he was married, his father had the responsibility to handle his schooling and oversee his social privileges. He also had the right to say who and who he could not marry, in charge of keeping him chaste until he selected a proper suitor for Yuuri to wed. Toshiyo wanted nothing more than for his son to be able to make his own decisions in this matter but if the government thought that he was not taking his job seriously, they would come in and forcefully remove Yuuri from his home and reassign him to a mandated caretaker. That he couldn’t allow. His wife would be heart-broken and Mari would likely never forgive him.

When it came down to choosing a suitor, there were a surprising amount of possibility’s to choose from. Yuuri had grown up in a respectable family, well liked within the community, so it wasn’t long before suitors were lining up outside their door after the announcement of his status. He’d politely turned them all away, telling them that he wouldn’t even consider looking at options until Yuuri was of a proper age. While some still participated in the old age tradition of marrying a young omega off a year after they’d presented, Toshiyo was well within his rights to wait until Yuuri was sixteen years old, the legal age. It was the only concession he could grant his son and it gave him years to find the perfect Alpha who would take proper care something so precious.

The years came and went, faster than everyone wanted them to, and on the dawn of his eighteenth birthday, Yuuri knew his time was up. His dad had waited as long as he was legally able to and had to pick a suitor before he got in trouble with ORO. Yuuri distracted himself by stubbornly perfecting his skills on the ice despite the fact that he could never compete, pushing his body to the limits more than once when he was particularly stressed about it.

Yuuri met his husband two months after he turned eighteen. Sohei Akihito was a wealthy individual, which was one of the only charming things about him. He owned several commercial fishing boats and brought in one of the largest catches of mackerel in Hasestu. He was older than Yuuri by many years, almost as old as his father and was overly confident in his own ability as a lover. Arrogance aside, Yuuri begged his dad to change his mind when he found out that Akihito had the most boring personality of anyone he’d ever met. He had a calm temperament, which is mother liked, and he loved to talk about his garden all day. Mari would have found it hilarious if she wasn’t extremely sad about how unfair it was that this was the best her baby brother was going to get.

Toshiyo found him to be a perfect match despite Yuuri’s complaints and signed off on the marriage as soon as they had finished going over the legal responsibilities. His mother took longer give her approval, knowing that Yuuri wasn’t happy about the match but in the end both his parents agreed that this was a better option than going with an unknown Alpha. Akihito was a longstanding customer who frequented their onsen enough to be on close terms with the owners. Too often they heard about alphas with irate temperaments, getting jealous and possessive over their omegas to the point of abusing them. At least this way, Yuuri would still be able to visit them and they would have some measure of comfort over his safety. Once Toshiyo signed the paperwork, he had no say in what happened to Yuuri.

The night before his wedding, Yuuri cried into his sisters arms as she comforted him.

“It’s will be alright, Yuuri.” She whispered to him in his darkened bedroom as she tried to comfort him, “Maybe him being so mundane is a good thing. He’ll probably be so busy with his garden and work that you won’t see him that often. I’m sure the sex won’t be so bad.” His wedding kimono was hung on the door like a bad omen, reminding them of what was to come.

They hosted the marriage at the onsen to keep it a private affair between family and close friends only. Toshiyo had insisted on it as part of the deal, knowing that Yuuri would feel more comfortable in his own home. Yuuri stood through the ceremony with red-rimmed eyes and tried to force a smile on his face. It was hard, harder than learning how jump a triple lutz, but he somehow mustered through it.

The reception was a blur for him. In his mind he was on the ice, skating a perfect routine to the tune of his favorite ballad while the whole world watched in awe. He used this mental image to fight off his anxiety, pushing his feelings of anger and grief down so it wouldn’t show on his face and bring shame upon his family. It was the first time since he’d presented that he finally feel like he was losing something.

Even though Mari had tried to ease his worries, consummating his marriage turned out to be the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It was the most painful experience that he’d ever been through, easily worse than any fall he’d had on the ice.

Akihiko and Yuuri spent the first night as husbands in his childhood bedroom, ruining what was once a safe haven for him. The posters of his idol gave him little comfort and he kept his eyes closed in shame, wishing he’d thought to take them down first.

“You’re so beautiful,” Akihiko told reverently after the first time, “You have skin like a doll, pale and pristine. I don’t want to mark you in fear of ruining it.” He said in what Yuuri assumed was supposed to be a compliment rather than sound like a creepy compliment. Despite feeling sick at the thought, Yuuri was pathetically grateful that Akihiko didn’t want to mark him. It somehow made the situation seem less permanent even though it was an illusion at best. It was unusual, an Alpha not wanting to claim his omega and properly bond with him. Yuuri had never heard of it happening to anyone else but he wasn’t about to force the issue by bringing it up.

The next day he limped his way downstairs, blood still tacky on his thighs and cried into his moms shoulder in the privacy of her bedroom. Hiroko tried to assure him that it was just the first time. The next time wouldn’t be so bad and once his body adjusted, he would even start to like it. She was confident that all he needed was a long soak in the onsen and everything would be better.

She was wrong. Every time hurt just as bad as the first but he was too embarrassed to bring it up again.

They stayed a few more days before Yuuri packed up his belongings and they moved to his new home across town. Akihito’s house was as luxurious as he described, with an elaborate pagoda roof and sliding doors like he was used to seeing at the onsen. There were bubbling fountains on the property along with a small pond filled with Koi and sakura trees in bloom. It was designed with the old samurai houses as inspiration and had traditional architecture of the Heian period that stuck out from other houses in Hasestu. Most of the pieces had to be imported from the capitol, Akihiko had boasted.

It had been the only thing the man had been able to talk about on the ride there and Yuuri had tried to pay attention. At the sight of the large opulent wooden structure, Yuuri realized that he would never want for anything except his own freedom.

&&

The loneliness was the worst. Soon after they married, Akihiko busied himself with work and spent many hours in alone in his office, on conference calls and generally busy at all hours of the day. Yuuri wandered the property aimlessly, not even having the distractions of cooking or cleaning.

“What is the point of money if you don’t use it?” Akihiko laughed when Yuuri suggested that he take over the housework like the omega was traditionally supposed to, just for something to do. His husband had hired a private cook and house maid, making him all but obsolete in his own home.

“Maybe I can go to college then? To keep myself busy.” Yuuri had asked hopefully but Akihiko had scoffed and shook his head.

 “When would you have the time?” he asked in return and Yuuri had to bite his tongue before he impetuously asked his husband what he thought Yuuri did around the house all day.

“I’m ornamental, a trinket to hang around the house and have sex with,” Yuuri ranted to his sister when he was sure Akihiko was out at meetings all day.

Mari gave him an unimpressed look over facetime, “You realize it could be so much worse. At least he likes vanilla sex. What if he was into something weird like making you lick his feet?” she said and he shivered in horror at the implication. The sex was bad in general but he couldn’t imagine if he’d have to do anything like that.

“Don’t worry, little brother. There are worse things than being extremely bored and wealthy. Like having to actually pay attention to your dull husband.” She pointed to the expensive broach that Akihiko liked him to wear on his lavish kimono, studded with small diamonds and pearls. Akihiko had an obsession with the feudal eras and had incorporated the traditions into their everyday lives. Upon arrival, Akihiko had immediately thrown out all his clothes and gifted him with a closet full of lavish silk kimonos. Yuuri had smuggled most of his old clothes back in without his husband knowing and hid them from the maid.

“It’s not like it’s my money.” Yuuri pouted and Mari forced herself to smile for his sake.

Yuuri felt a little better after speaking with his sister and his happiness carried him until later that night when Akihiko came home and wanted to celebrate a successful business deal.

“I got you another wedding present, my love,” Akihiko whispered to him after another excruciating night together. Yuuri was turned away from him, head tucked away so his husband wouldn’t see the tears that were still falling. His lower torso felt raw and every shift in the bed caused him to bite his pillow to muffle his whimpers.

“I didn’t give it to you because I wanted to make sure that you were settled before disrupting your routine,” Akihiko said proudly, as if Yuuri was a delicate flower of an omega who would faint at the idea of too much work.

“Your dad mentioned that you love to ice skate when we were going over terms. He said that it would be beneficial to your mental health to let you continue. I was torn because I didn’t want it to distract you from your duties at home but I don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to skate part time at least,” he continued and Yuuri’s heart skipped a beat, too nervous to hope.

“He said you’re self-taught and happy just to have a few hours to skate by yourself but I found you a coach who is willing to teach you in between her regular students. How does that sound?” he asked. Yuuri nodded so fast that he gave himself minor whiplash, his previous pain all but a memory as an intense joy filled him from head to toe.

&&

Life got better after that. Sex was still a hardship but he would willingly tolerate the pain if it meant he got to skate. He supposed his heats were the only time where sex with his husband wasn’t a chore but he soon discovered a well-kept secret that might have made his parents not so eager to accept Akihiko’s proposal of marriage.

His husband was a complete lush. He liked his sake and often drank a couple bottles of it before bed. Yuuri wholeheartedly supported his drinking habits, getting up to refill his glass many times during dinner. Akihiko was a jovial drunk, with grabby hands and a lecherous grin but despite his stout nature, the alcohol went to his head fast. They could be talking about what he’d planted that day in his garden or the amount of fish his nets had brought in one moment and then suddenly Akihiko would be in the mood for sex, only to pass out on the way to the bedroom. Once he was out, he’d be out till morning.

Yuuri thought himself fortunate because once he put his husband to bed, he raced over to Ice Castle and got a few more hours of skating on his own before it closed. Often Yuuko would even let him stay after while she settled the till for that day. Takeshi, her Alpha and once his tormenter when he was a kid, indulgently allowed her all manner of inappropriate things that was not generally acceptable for an omega.

The next three years dragged on though Yuuri tried to stay optimistic. He found little ways to make his new life sufferable. Mari helped smuggle him books to keep up in academics and he helped her study when it was time for exams. She was going to school for business accounting, so she could one day take over the onsen when their parents retired and keep it in the family. Yuuko invited him out on her days off and Minako came over to help him stay fit with private ballet lessons. Three days a week, he got to skate with a professional coach. Fumiko-san was proud of his progress despite only being allowed to skate part time and sad at his wasted potential. Yuuri was easily her most talented student and would have gone far if he’d been allowed to.

There were whispers amongst the neighbors that Yuuri tried to ignore. The years had passed and there was no sign of a child. They called him barren and other scathing words that were meant to demean him as an omega. The blame for the fact that no child had been conceived despite plenty of heats passing by laid solely at Yuuri’s feet, not his Alphas. It didn’t bother Yuuri so much as it did his parents, since it would be impossible to skate while he was pregnant.

Mari was shaping up to be a consummate spinster, avoiding the topic of relationships altogether. She’d had a few dates here and there but Yuuri was the only one who knew that she was secretly dating other Alphas, a taboo in their culture. Yuuri was their last hope for grandchildren but neither he nor Akihiko had ever brought up the topic of kids. Yuuri assumed that he’d get pregnant eventually and that if the day ever came, he’d worry about it then.

The day his husband died was horrible but not for the reason everyone assumed. He’d gotten Akihiko’s permission to go shopping that day and he intended to take advantage of it. He needed to stretch his legs a bit before he went stir crazy. His husband had been reluctant at first, not wanting Yuuri to wander around without an appropriate chaperone but Yuuko promised that she would go with him. Minako agreed to go as well, resolving Akihiko’s doubts. Minako was an experienced Alpha and had taken care of Yuuri as a child. She would keep them both out of trouble.

Before leaving, Yuuri passed the kitchen and noticed Ichirou-san, Akihiko’s personal chef, was in the kitchen cooking Akihiko’s breakfast. He approached nervously and Ichirou jumped when he noticed Yuuri was in the kitchen.

“Sohei-san, I didn’t see you there.” He said politely. Though Yuuri held no power in the house or over the staff, both Ichirou and the maid Shinsaku, treated him with detached respect. They didn’t look down on him for having to complete what was supposed to be Yuuri’s job but went about their jobs as if Yuuri was a child instead of their employer’s husband.

“Good Morning,” Yuuri said and Ichirou offered him a pastry instead of the hearty breakfast he was preparing for Akihiko. Ever since he was little he’d never enjoyed a big breakfast in the morning, instead preferring something small and easy to take on the go.

Yuuri kept quiet as Ichirou finished and then stepped out to get plates from the parlor. The food smelt delicious, like always, since Ichirou was a master in the kitchen and Yuuri only wished he could cook as well as he did. Yuuri wandered after that, waiting impatiently for Minako and Yuuko to arrive in the gardens. Despite the fact that Akihiko could make it sound like it was the most uninteresting subject on the planet, the Alpha really did have an impressive green thumb. Both his crops and flowers thrived under his attentive care and Yuuri had a hard time not being impressed by the results.

Once Minako and Yuuko arrived, Yuuri stopped in to say goodbye to Akihiko and then they all left. The day was spent wandering from shop to shop and Yuuri was having fun despite feeling bloated due to his heat cramps. It would only be a few days before his upcoming heat descended and he was reluctant to tell his husband about it. He’d have to sooner or later but was trying to push it off till the last minute.

“You look happy, Yuuri.” Yuuko commented when they stopped for a midday meal at a small café, “Honestly, I thought you’d be still be depressed because you’re married to that boor for the rest of your life.”

“Yuuko,” Minako chided but Yuuri laughed.

“It’s alright, senpai. We can’t be all as lucky as Yuuko in getting a mate.” Yuuri said, taking a swallow of his hot tea before replying, “I was. But it turns out being depressed gets old after a while. I lost my love for life and wanted it back. Skating helped me immensely and I know I always have you guys to help me out. I just have to make the best of it.”

Yuuko grinned widely, “I love you too you big sap!” she said giving him a hug that was reminiscent of their childhood romps. Minako smirked, “That’s very mature of you kid,” she said proudly.

“Well, Mari was right. My life is not all bad and I definitely could have had worse. Akihiko isn’t a horrible husband even if he does suck in bed.” Yuuri made an uncomfortable face at the thought and then gasped when he realized what he said, clapping his hands over his mouth.

Both Minako and Yuuko sniggered before letting out hearty laughs that caused the entire restaurant give them dirty looks.

“Well he is ancient. I tell ya, I don’t know what your parents were thinking. The least they could have done was find you an attractive Alpha. That way, even if he was horrible in bed, he’d be pretty to look at.” Minako said making Yuuri flush a bright shade of red.

He stuttered through his next few words and both girls decided to give him a break by changing the subject.

“Did you watch the Grand Prix Finals last night?! Victor was on!” Yuuko said excitedly as she slapped her hands on the table, earning a few more dirty looks.

Yuuri nodded, eyes sparkling at the mention of his long-time crush and idol. Victor Nikiforov had been an inspiration to him as both a figure skater and an Alpha. The man was considered a prince in his home country and insanely gorgeous. All the girls and guys of every second gender wanted to become his mate. Yuuri would never admit to anyone even under pain of death that sometimes he would use Victor’s image to get through sex with Akihiko, imagining it was a slim but powerful alpha on top of him rather than a weak portly one.

“He won his fourth consecutive gold!” Yuuko continued, “Isn’t that amazing, Yuuri! He’s already announced he’s going to compete next season even though he still has the World Championships. Can you imagine what it would be like to skate on the same ice as him?”

Yuuri winced and looked down at his lap, focusing on the tips of his fingers rather than how much Yuuko’s insensitive words stung. That’s all he ever thought about and it wasn’t fair that he’d never get the chance to even try. Yuuko loved ice skating as well but she’d never had the same passion for it that Yuuri had. She’d never wanted anything more than to just work at Ice Castle and raise a family. Even if she had been a beta or an Alpha, she probably would have never tried her hand at competing.

“Oh… Yuuri… I’m so sorry.” Yuuko sounded genuinely apologetic but Yuuri couldn’t find the courage to look up and see for himself. He sniffed and realized with mortification that he was tearing up. He wiped his eyes hastily, hoping that no one would mention it even if they did notice.

“It’s okay, Yuuchan. I suppose it’s a good thing I’ll never get to compete,” Yuuri said self-deprecatingly, “With my anxiety I’d just screw it up and fall flat on my face.” Yuuri finally looked up and tried to smile. His eyes were red-rimmed but thankfully dry.

“Don’t say that! You’d be awesome and win every competition you entered! I’m a jerk. Please forgive me.” She sounded sad now and Yuuri didn’t want her to be sad.

“Of course I forgive you, you’re my best friend.” he said and she smiled uncertainly at him.

 “I think we should get back to shopping. We’re all going to get fat if we sit around and eat cakes all day.” Minako interrupted and both omegas nodded in agreement, eager to break the awkward silence that had descended on their conversation.

Yuuri didn’t find out that anything was wrong till later that night. Akihiko’s car was home so Yuuri prepared himself of another long dinner before making a plan to avoid having sex tonight. He could usually go a week without Akihiko noticing and demanding it.  He’d really gotten too good at subterfuge since marrying.

“Aki,” Yuuri called when he opened the door and saw that the house was completely dark. It was Shinsaku’s day off and Ichirou had left around midday after preparing each days dinner so that he could get to his second job at his restaurant in time. Yuuri was given the ‘oh so glorious privilege’ of setting the table and dishing out the prepared food. He shrugged when there was no reply to his call, assuming that his husband was busy in his office still. Late nights were becoming more and more commonplace.

He made it to the kitchen and prepared his husband a plate of food, setting aside one for himself later. If Akihiko was still working this late, then he’d want to eat in his office tonight. No need to set the table just for himself to eat at. The pork cutlets that Ichirou made smelled divine and he had a moment of nostalgia for his mother’s katsudon. He could make it himself, but it never tasted the same. Maybe he could convince Akihiko that they needed a night off at the onsen and he could persuade his mom to make it for him.

“Aki, I have dinner.” Yuuri said pushing open the door to the office. The plate dropped from his hand, cracking on the hardwood floor and food scattered at his feet. Akihiko lay on his back in the middle of room on the floor, death glazed eyes staring at the ceiling. His face was swollen, particularly around his eye sockets and his neck was red and blotchy. His arms lay up on the floor near his neck, as if he’d made a poor attempt save himself from whatever had killed him.

Yuuri fell to his knees, the ends of his kimono smearing into the flood on the floor but he couldn’t move. He stared at the body of his dead husband in muted shock while the room blurred. This wasn’t supposed to happen. His breathing started getting shallower as his brain was overwhelmed with panic and fear.

He scrambled to his feet in blind panic and ran towards the phone, eager to not be alone in the house any longer. His first call should have been to the police but he was scared and needed comfort. In the end he called the one person who’d done everything in his power to protect him from a world that devalued his existence.

“Mari,” Yuuri burst out into tears as soon as he heard his sister’s calming voice through the speakers, “Please, I need your help.”


	2. Falling (in Love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to admit it now that I'm not a very consistent writer. I try my hardest but I'm not going to promise you a schedule that I can't commit to. I wish I had that much free time in my life but as a full time student and employee, my free time is very limited. It will be a little better during these first couple of weeks since I'm off for winter break but my muse is fickle. It's been a long time since I've gotten a new chapter out so fast and I blame the season finale. It lit a fire under my muse and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Enjoy!
> 
> All mistakes are my own and I will fix any major ones that are brought to my attention. Typos are annoying but sometimes inevitable.

Yuuri supposed it was inevitable. It had only been five months but somehow he’d been hoping his father had found a loophole of some kind. Unlikely but Yuuri had held onto his last vestiges of hope. He wasn’t the only omega whose Alpha had passed away and he doubted that he would ever be the last. His chances of finding a new husband had dropped significantly since most Alpha’s preferred young, virginal omegas, two things of which Yuuri was not.

Still, it was a surprised to come home from practicing at Minako’s studio to walk in and hear his family’s attempt to barter him off over dinner. It wasn’t as unusual as it was upsetting. After the death of their mate, omega’s were allowed up to but not more than three months to grieve and let the mating bond dissolve naturally before they were allowed to be married again. Yuuri was lucky in that regard. He’d heard horrible tales of how painful it was for a bond to dissolve and was glad that he was only experiencing mild symptoms. Because Akihiko had never given him a mating mark, only a superficial bond had formed between them due to scenting and close proximity.

At least this time, because he’d already been married before, there was less of an urgency for Toshiyo to find an Alpha for him. He’d eventually have to remarry to keep his families honor, because cultural customs dictated social standing within the community and the success of their hot spring depended on having customers. Hasestu didn’t have a large enough draw for international tourism like Tokyo did so they were dependent on local support to keep them from going under.

Yuuri’s case had been special because of the circumstances surrounding Akihiko’s death. The initial investigation took a month and then the court trial took another. It was now nearing the end of his three month grieving period and soon would be on the market once more.

“Not even one proposal letter?” Hiroko sounded shocked, “That can’t be. Keiko’s son got a dozen offers of marriage after his Alpha died from a heart attack after only a month. Maybe they just got lost in the mail.”

“Let’s face it, mom. Yuuri isn’t the same omega he was when he was eighteen. He’s twenty-three now and comes with a lot of baggage. You can’t expect him to be as in demand as he used to be,” Mari said bluntly. Yuuri could smell the cigarette she was smoking and hear the clinking of the ceramic bowls they were eating out of. No one had noticed him enter, blocked by the sliding screen door and Yuuri hadn’t made any move to announce his presence, wanting to hear what his family was saying about him when he wasn’t in the room.

They had been supportive of him returning home and Mari had even switched bedrooms with him to make him more comfortable but they were very reluctant to talk about anything related to Akihiko or his upcoming potential nuptials. Every time he brought it up, the atmosphere would grow tense and one of them would abruptly change the subject.

“Mari, don’t say things like that about your brother,” Hiroko begged, “Don’t you want him to be happy?”

Mari snorted bitterly, “And you think marrying him off to the next Alpha who walks in our doors is going to make him happy?” She asked, “He never wanted to marry Akihiko in the first place, he was forced too. You know how miserable he was, even at the end.”

Toshiyo frowned at his daughter but kept quiet as she continued to argue with his wife. 

“We all know that marrying Akihiko was not what Yuuri truly wanted to do with his life but it’s not our place to say what went on in their marriage. After four years, there had to be some kind of affection between them, even if it wasn’t love.” Hiroko argued passionately. Although it wasn’t normal practice anymore outside of omega and Alpha courtships, Hiroko and Toshiyo’s marriage had been arranged by their parents. It was a struggle at first, marrying a total stranger but they had both been determined to make it work. It helped that they were both of like mind and temperament and it didn’t take long for them to develop mutual respect and love for one another.

A familiar guilt welled up inside of Yuuri and he closed his eyes as he thought of his childhood. His parents had always seemed happy and it was hard to consider that there was once a time that they hadn’t been. Worse, he hated to think that either of them had ever gone through the same pain he had with Akihiko.

Raised voices caught his attention again, “You think he did it, don’t you? How can you believe your own son would murder his husband?” Mari said crossly. Yuuri had never heard his sister speak so disrespectfully to their parents and realized he his must have missed part of the conversation.

“You know that’s not true,” Hiroko said just as Toshiyo put his bowl down. He stood up, using his height to add more weight to his words. “Mari, you will never know the pain we went through having to give our only son away until you have an omega child for yourself. What we did, we did for Yuuri’s own good. I know it seems unfair but I will not allow you to speak your to mother or I like this,” he said challenging her to argue back, which was unexpected for a beta to take on an Alpha like that, even if she was being disrespectful.

“Yuuri has been proven innocent in a court of law of all charges laid against him and that is that last we will speak of it,” Toshiyo continued, “Do you understand?”

Yuuri couldn’t take it any longer. He turned and ran back out of the door that lead to their private rooms, all but throwing himself down the stairs toward the public entrance. He’d barely had his shoes on when he heard his dad call his name from upstairs and he dimly realized that he’d hadn’t even tried to be quiet or sneak away. His entire family must have heard his hasty departure and known he’d overheard their conversation. He needed to get away before they came to talk to him.

He grabbed his bag on the way out, blindly running towards the direction of Ice Castle without even realizing it. Yuuko was just closing up when he arrived and she let him inside without a word.

“Go ahead, Yuuri,” she said without him needing to ask, “I have to stay late tonight anyway to sharpen the rentals.”

He tied his skates with shaking fingers and ended up having to redo it twice before he was safely able to skate without killing himself. He was too ramped up now and only the chill of the ice would be able to settle his nerves.

He lazily skated a few turns around the rink, sliding into a spread eagle on the inside edge into an Ina Bauer then into a lunge, before deciding to work on his step sequence footwork to warm up. Before long, he added some spins into the mix, moving from a backspin into a combination rotation lift into a forward spin.

_“Did you kill your husband?” Yuuri stared blankly at the inspector assigned to the investigation of Akihiko’s murder, hunched in on himself and shaking. He was overwrought with anxiety and the room was cold and bare, holding little comfort for him to hang onto. Normally he would have been allowed a representative but this was an informal interrogation. Unless he outright admitted to the murder, he was not in danger of being detained. He watched the Alpha in front of him getting more and more angry at his silent defiance but Yuuri had already answered this question multiple times. No one seemed to believe him._

_“I wasn’t even home when he was killed.” Yuuri said biting his lip and looking away. The inspector was really pulling out all the stops. He was subtly releasing sedative-like pheromones into the room that were reactive to make him more pliant, a neat biological trick designed for Alpha’s to be able to soothe a distressed omega. Yuuri despised it wholeheartedly. It made him feel like jello, his limbs weakening and his head muddy. Yuuri blinked and shook his head to try refocus his thoughts._

_While this tactic wasn’t illegal to use, it also wasn’t the cleanest way to get a confession. A decent well paid lawyer could easily pick apart the interrogation and get him acquitted._

_“You didn’t have to be for this murder,” The investigator stood, circling around the metal table that Yuuri was seated at. He wasn’t under arrest because despite being their main suspect, they had no formal evidence to charge him with. “Forensics confirms there was garlic powder used in his breakfast that morning, something your husband was allergic too. You knew that and had plenty of opportunities to slip into his food.” He said accusingly and Yuuri had an uncomfortable flashback to finding Akihiko dead in his office, swollen from anaphylactic shock. There was also a shortage of epi-pens that Yuuri had been blamed for though he distinctly remembered Akihiko keeping plenty around the house._

_“Ichirou-san prepared his meals. I wasn’t allowed to.” Yuuri repeated dully._

_“Yes. Convenient is it not? The perfect alibi. You weren’t home and you didn’t prepare his meals, an obvious attempt at proving yourself innocent. Ichirou Sanji was acquitted this morning. He had no motive to kill his employer and there were no traces of garlic in or around the kitchen, yet it somehow appeared in his food. Ichirou also remembered that he stepped out for a moment, giving you time to add it while he wasn’t looking.” the alpha continued._

_“I didn’t kill my husband, In-Inspector.” Yuuri repeated, his voice breaking on the last word. He gulped and ducked his head timidly. It was times like these he wished he had more confidence in himself. Maybe then he could convince everyone that he was innocent._

Ever since he was little, ice skating had always been a comfort for him. It was the only time he could remember feeling an intense state of flow, so fully immersed in his movements to the music that the awareness of the outside world seemed to melt away. His anxiety and depression were non-existent on the ice. Fumiko had often told him that his intense concentration added to his elegant performance, giving his step sequence a more powerful draw than the jumps he could complete. On technical skill, he judged himself to be on level with the junior division but his presentation was just as good as any senior. It helped his anxiety that he rarely had an audience bigger than his coach and his family but he knew that if given the chance, he could prove himself.

Once he felt he was warmed up enough, his heart beating faster and unable to feel the chill in the air due to his exertion, did he attempt his first jump. He swung around and used his pick to propel himself into a double toe loop. He felt confident with his landing and upped the next jump to a triple lutz. His concentration slipped, causing him to step out of the landing and he slowed down just a bit knowing he tended to flub his jumps when he was thinking too hard about it. With determination, he completed a triple axel flawlessly and then scraped to a stop to catch his breath.

_“Sohei Yuuri, you’ve officially been charged for the murder of Sohei Akihito. How do you plead?” The judge said as they started the court proceedings. Yuuri glanced around the room in fear, feeling like everyone’s were eyes on him. With the exception of his family, he couldn’t help but think they were all accusing him of the crime before having been proven guilty. His lawyer softly cleared his throat to get his attention and he looked back to the judge._

_“N-Not g-guilty.” Yuuri stuttered through it and the lawyer glanced at him in warning. Now wasn’t the time to act suspicious and he’d counselled the omega beforehand that he needed to be strong for this. The Katsuki family wasn’t rich and the more time they spent disputing in court, the more money they would have to spend to clear his name. Yuuri blushed and nodded._

_“Then we can proceed. Please state your cases for the court. The defendant may begin.” The judge said and banged his gavel on the sound block. Yuuri glanced back at parents, who gave him shaky smiles, and Mari, who gave him a thumbs up. He took a deep breath, trying not to think about the fact that this case would decide if he would lose what little privileges he did have by going to prison. He didn’t want to think about any of it._

_In the end, he was proven innocent. The only evidence they had against him was circumstantial._

_“The court finds Sohei Yuuri to be not guilty of the crime of first degree manslaughter. All investigations shall be dropped against him and he may be returned to his caretaker. Katsuki Toshiyo, please stand,” The judge ordered and his dad stood in his seat from the back of the room._

_“I now relinquish all rights and privileges of Sohei Yuuri back to you, along with the understanding that he will follow ORO mandated requirements in light of his loss. After the three month settling period is complete, you may begin preparations for a new match. He will henceforth be stripped of his claim to the Sohei family and his name returned to that which he had before his nuptials," he said._

_“Yes, sir.” Toshiyo bowed in acknowledgement._

_The judge cleared his throat and picked up the documents from his stand._

_“Given that Sohei Akihiko had no living heirs and no family willing to contest his will, all of his holdings including land, monetary assets and business licenses will pass onto the next Alpha who claims Katsuki Yuuri. Until that time, you will be in charge of them to do with as you see fit. This court is now adjourned,” he said.The judge’s gavel hit the sound block with a conclusive thwack but Yuuri was in too much of a shock. That couldn’t’ be right. Akihiko had left everything to him instead of his own family?_

_He barely noticed when he was swept into a tight hug from Mari. Both his mother and father were crying joyful tears. Hiroko dabbed at her eyes with a white cloth and his father put a comforting hand on his exposed shoulder. Yuuri looked over to see Yuuko and Takeshi had even come out to see him. They were standing near the back of the court room, each holding one of their three six-year-old triplets. The third was sitting on the bench beside them, peeking over the top of the bench. The Nishigori family were all smiling happily at him so he waved back at them politely. Minako was there as well, cheering him on with a banner with his name on it written in pink kanji._

_His entire family and all his friends had come out to support him. He smiled and buried his face into Mari’s shoulder, finally letting his own tears fall. He was finally free from his oppressive marriage and had been legally cleared for Akihiko’s murder, though that wouldn't stop the rumors about his involvement._

Yuuri groaned in irritation as memories of that nerve-wracking day seeped into his practice. He was supposed to be here to take his mind off them, not rethink every nightmarish moment of the worst couple months of his life. At this rate he wouldn’t be able to land anymore of his jumps.

He pushed off and took another lap around the rink before turning into an upright spiral and then squatting into a spiral sit spin. Now that he was back on track, he felt more confident about trying another jump. His triple salchow had been polished to near perfection and he landed smoothly on the outside edge of his skates.

'Maybe I should attempt a quad', he thought rebelliously. Fumiko had forbid him from jumping a quad without her being present and he’d obeyed her in the past in fear of her getting upset and refusing to coach him. But he was still riding an exhilarated energy high that fueled his stubborn nature. He’d successfully landed a quadruple toe loop in practice even though he wasn’t as consistent as his coach wanted to him be before attempting to raise the difficulty. He tended to under-rotate them and lose balance but he wanted to try a quadruple salchow. In theory a triple salchow and a quadruple salchow were not so different. It was still executed from a forward outside 3-turn on his left foot for a clockwise jump but had four rotations instead of three. He could complete the quad jump with a more powerful pick-off and increasing his speed to get that extra rotation he needed.

He thought back to their last practice and this memory hurt the worst. Two months after the trial, Fumiko had approached him with the bad news.

_“I’m so sorry, Yuuri-chan,” Fumiko said and her regret did appear to be genuine, “I can't help you anymore.”_

_“B-But my dad said it was okay if I continued lessons with you. He can pay your fee still if that’s what you’re worried about.” He begged, growing desperate. He couldn’t lose skating. It was the one thing in his life that was good and constant. He needed to skate just as much as he needed to breathe._

_“Oh, sweetie. That has nothing to do with it. I know you’re good for it, I just have too many students. I’m taking on another full time skater and I have to put my focus on my more serious students. I’m sure you understand. He’s a promising talent. He just presented as an Alpha last year and I think he has the potential to make it as far as nationals,” she said proudly with no real understanding of how deep her words had cut him._

_After she left, he locked himself in his bedroom and cried till he was too tired to cry anymore._

He scowled at the memory and hastily made his decision. Teaching him wasn’t a waste. He’d prove it now.

Yuuri wholeheartedly threw himself into the jump, trying to get enough momentum to complete all the rotations necessary but his free leg didn’t make it around in time and he popped it, overbalancing when he tried to correct his mistake. He hit the ice hard, landing on his side while his head smacked the ice. He skittered away a few feet towards the edge of the rink and laid there for a few seconds, winded. He tried to push himself up onto his knees but fell back down as his vision blurred and the world spun. The last thing he saw before blacking out was three pairs of feet rushing towards him.

&&

Victor had always known that he wanted to surprised people. When he was a child, he’d loved seeing the look of amazement on his parent’s faces when he excelled at academics. To him, seeing them happy because of something he accomplished made him feel energized. It wasn’t until he was twelve years old that he decided he wanted to be a professional figure skater. His parents were supportive of him and signed him up for lessons.

He’d been shocked when his coach at the time told him he would likely never compete professionally. He was too old. Kids who went onto skate professionally started much younger than he did and already had the fundamentals down at his age. He'd missed his chance. Victor initially had been heartbroken but decided he wasn’t going to accept that as an answer, intending to prove them all wrong.

Victor figured that becoming a five time gold-medal champion was the best way to surprise them all. It wasn’t easy. He had an abundance of natural talent but given his late start, that wasn’t enough. He needed to work harder than any of the kids his age just to keep up. But now, all his hard work and practice had paid off. He was at the peak of his career.

So why did it suddenly seem all so tedious to him? He didn’t feel this way after his fifth consecutive medal at the Grand Prix Finals. It wasn’t until this latest World’s competition did he feel like he was missing something. Which is why he’d decided to take a vacation. After a hasty last minute decision to extend his trip in Japan, here he was, standing in front of a large squid statue at the train station taking an impromptu selfie. He grinned and help up a peace sign for the camera before posting it on Instagram.

His post was immediately liked by his many followers but even that simple gesture felt hollow. He knows that Yakov and the rest of the world consider him to be selfish and whimsical but Victor often felt truly misunderstood. He had an intense desire to make people happy and surprising them had become a huge part of that. Now nothing he did surprised anyone anymore and he was floundering with his next move should be. He’d never felt more uncertain in his life and it really didn’t help that he was so forgetful sometimes.

“This is so dumb. What the hell are we doing here? First Yakov drags me to Japan when I should be home practicing for my senior debut and now you drag me on a seven hour train ride from Tokyo to some hick ninja town.” His young rinkmate and rising star Yuri Plisetsky loudly complains, “A waste of time. We could have flown and not have to ride with creepy foreigners.”

“Tut tut, Yura. Here in Japan, we are the foreigners,” Victor reminded him cheerfully, always eager to annoy the Ice Tiger of Russia as he had been officially dubbed. Tiger indeed, Victor thought wryly, more like angry kitten.

“Besides, you didn’t have to follow me,” Victor grins in memory. Yakov had not been too happy with his protégé up and leaving right after the competition without telling him and even more so when he discovered that Yuri had gone with him.

“As if I could leave you alone.” Yuri grumbled sourly, “You’re so forgetful you might get lost and never get back to Russia.”

“Be careful Yura, you almost sound like you care,” Victor teased him.

“Don’t call me that!” Yuri yelled shaking fist at the older Alpha. They were walking down the street, across a large bridge that overlooked a river. The smell of brine was potent here, meaning it had access to the sea and gave Victor a warm feeling of nostalgia for home. It reminded him of the beaches in St. Petersburg. He stopped and looked out across water, staring at the horizon with a wistful expression on his face.

“I do not care. Yakov will kill me in practice if I don’t bring back his precious Vitya. All of Russia will mourn.” Yuri said scathingly as he continued walking as if Victor hadn’t gotten distracted. He was dragging his tiger-striped roll-on suitcase behind him and one of the wheels caught on a large crack in the concrete, flipping it sideways.

“Damnit! I hate Japan! Stupid faulty sidewalk,” he cursed, stopping to fix it and stomp on the crack for good measure. He looked up and finally noticed that Victor was not right next to him anymore but was several feet behind him still.

“Stop getting distracted. The sooner you see your stupid ninja castle, the sooner we can leave.” Yuri yelled back at him, startling Victor's attention away from the scenery. 

He grinned, “Don’t forget the onsen!” he added and Yuri waited for him to catch up before imploding on him.

“You did not say we were going anywhere else!” He yelled furiously, “And what is an onsen? Something perverted no doubt.”

“It’s a traditional hot spring bathhouse. The guidebook said it is an important part of Japanese culture we shouldn’t miss. And the best part, clothing is optional!” Victor replied, pulling out the guidebook he'd bought out of his handbag, scanning pages for the perfect one he’d found while riding on the train. Yu-something. It was the only one still in operation and he didn't want to miss out. It was all a part of the experience. 

Victor had never gotten the opportunity to act like a tourist before in any of the cities he’d visited for competitions. Yakov had been solely focused on practice instead of sightseeing, believing it to be a waste of time that could be better spent.

“Gross! I’m not bathing with other people! Especially naked,” Yuri complained loudly, causing Victor to smirk.

“Come on, Yura. Where is your sense of adventure?” he said ruffling Yuri’s blonde hair before walking ahead of him.

“Back in Russia,” Yuri grumbled, “Where it belongs.”

Victor laughed at him, causing the younger Alpha to run towards him and attempt to high kick him in the back.

They walked for another half an hour before reaching the base of Hasetsu castle, the supposed ninja house that Victor had read so much about. They spent a while taking pictures of each other and of themselves to post on social media while wandering the property. Victor had to say he was a little bit disappointed with the cherry blossom trees. It was the wrong season for them to be in bloom, which gave the vegetation a desolate look about them. By the time they were done exploring, the sun was starting to set and the sky was getting dark.

“Hmmmm. I guess it took a lot longer than I thought to get here on foot.” Victor mused thoughtlessly and Yuri growled at him.

“I told you we should have taken a cab but you insisted on walking. Dumbass.” He griped, though it lacked any real hatred and instead was filled with reluctant fondness towards the man who he secretly idolized, flaws and all.

“Maybe we can find somewhere to call a cab, the guidebook does not have any phone numbers we can call.” Victor said after taking a moment to flip through it. They took off in a random direction, hoping to find something that looked familiar. A café or a shop that would hopefully have someone who spoke English since it was very unlikely that they would find someone who spoke Russian. They walked for another couple blocks before coming across a very familiar sight.

“YURA, its fate! Look, an ice skating rink! And the lights are still on, how fortunate.” Victor said happily.

“Ice Castle Hasestu.” Yuri read that name on the side of the blue building, “That’s convenient that it’s written in English,” he continued. The doors were unlocked but the building appeared to be empty. The front lobby was cast in shadows, half of the overhead lights turned off. No one was standing behind the rental or snack counter, leading them to believe that it wasn’t as open as the unlocked doors suggested.

“Maybe they left it open by accident,” Yuri suggested, feeling uncomfortable. Empty, darkened rinks had always given him the creeps. “Let’s find somewhere else.” He turned to leave but Victor grabbed him by the arm.

“No wait, listen!” he said. They had to be quiet for a few seconds before finally Yuri heard what Victor was talking about. Someone was skating. They could hear the sound of blades scratching over the surface of the ice, consistent with someone who could turn at decent speeds.

“It must be a private session.” Victor concluded, “Let’s go see what Hasestu has to offer us. Japan hasn’t had a decent skater qualify for the Grand Prix in years.”

“You’re going to get us thrown out.” Yuri complained but obediently followed Victor through double doors leading to the main rink.

It definitely wasn’t an amateur skating. The young man appeared to be in his mid-adolescence, older than Yuri but younger than Victor with a mop of black hair and a lithe but curvy body. His performance was captivating in a way that made it hard for Victor to stop staring with badly concealed awe. The man's whole body moved to the sound of music that was playing inside of him, never missing a beat. Even Yuri was impressed by the footwork sequence the young man performed so naturally. It was as if he’d been born with skates on his feet.

They were so distracted by the skater that they failed to notice someone had come up behind them. The young woman had auburn that was pulled up in a small ponytail in the back and a curious copper colored eyes. She had her hands on her hips, looking cross with them as she started speaking quickly in Japanese.

Both Yuri and Victor looked to each other for guidance before Victor tried to use quick tips he’d learned in his guidebook. ‘Where is the bathroom’ and ‘How much does this cost’ was not going to be enough to explain why they were trespassing after hours. Hopefully she'd take pity on them and not call the police to have them arrested. Yuri didn't think he could live with the embarrassment of getting arrested in a foreign country and having to call Yakov to come bail them out.

“Ah, foreigners. We don’t get many of those,” the woman finally understand and switched to accented English when Victor realized his broken Japanese was going to get them nowhere. Victor rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment while Yuri rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

“How did you two get in here? We’re closed,” she repeated her earlier question.

“The door was unlocked,” Victor explained and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in fond exasperation. The fan overhead kicked on to keep the room chilled and her sweet scent wafted over to them.

She’s an omega, both of them thought at the same time. Mated but still potent.

“Yuuri must have left them open earlier. That dummy,” she continued, not noticing that both of them had tensed up.

Victor was about to question her further when they were all distracted by the man skating once again. He made a sound of frustration before starting a jump, a quad salchow if Victor wasn’t mistaken, but lost momentum before the final rotation. He spun out of control and lost his balance on the spin, falling on the ice.

The omega next to them gasped and mumbled, “That had to hurt. Shake it off, Yuuri,” under her breath.

The mysterious skater's name was Yuuri, Victor realized and he found himself uncharacteristically worried about a stranger he’d never met before. That was unlike him.

“Look at that loser, he can’t even land a quadruple salchow.” Yuri scoffed in contempt, viciously glad that the man had shown some sign of mediocrity to save face after fawning so heavily over him a moment ago. Yuri was not a fanboy, especially to an unknown skater he’d never met before. He planned on saying something else but frowned when the fallen man struggled to get to his knees.

“I think he might be hurt.” Yuri said just as Victor and the omega took off running towards him.

Yuri took only a second to be bewildered before instinctively following them across the ice. Thankfully, none of them slipped and broke their neck. Victor was the first to reach him, used to navigating slippery terrain even when he wasn’t in skates thanks to Russian winters.

Victor carefully cradled the man in his arms as the woman tried to rouse him by talking softly to him in Japanese.

“He’s unconscious. He might have hit his head,” Yuri said, remembering to speak in English and then stiffened when he caught scent of the omega in Victor’s arms. He smelled sweet but different than the women sitting next to him. She smelt like an apple tart, baked with sweet apples and mixed with cinnamon and nutmeg. It was the familiar scent of a mated omega. An unmated omega smelled more saccharine. They were sweet like the smell of fresh sugar cane.

The wounded omega smelt like a mixture of both, tainted by the smell of something heady and rich. It smelt like a mixture of grief and guilt, the scent of a psychologically distressed omega.

“I should go call his caretaker, please stay with him till I get back.” The woman left before either of them could protest. It was highly inappropriate for two Alpha’s to be in the presence of an unknown omega they hadn’t even met yet without a chaperone. She should have known that, Yuri thought wildly, yet in her hurry she had completely forgotten.

Victor didn’t appear to even notice that she had left. He was staring down at the omega in wonder, seemingly spellbound by his presence. He didn’t even care that his knees were getting cold from contact with the ice and continued to hold onto Yuuri as if the omega was a fragile piece of glass that would break if he let go. He looked so cute while he was asleep and Victor desperately wanted him to open his eyes so he could see what color they were.

Was this what he’d been missing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I've extended my outline and have plans to add one more chapter than I originally thought. I think I answered all the questions that was asked of me but let me know if I forgot one of them. Also I will be updating tags as I go along if needed to make sure that everyone is aware. 
> 
> I know I won't get another chapter out by Christmas, so Happy Holidays everyone and stay safe!


	3. Losing his Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone had a good holiday. In other news, this story just keeps evolving as I write it. What started out as three chapters, grew into four and now I honestly have no clue when it's going to end. It has a mind of it's own. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has commented on this story. Your comments have given me a lot of inspiration and motivation to continue writing so please continue to support it and I will promise not to be too mean to Yuuri... more so then I already have. Thanks for all the kudos! It means a lot to me.

Yuuri’s head is throbbing intensely when he wakes up from the worst sleep he can ever remember, leaving his body feeling sore and weak. He’s lying on something soft and warm which is confusing since the last thing he remembers is cold ice. A hand gently takes his own and grips it comfortingly as Yuri slowly opens his eyes.

“Well look who decided to join us. Here I thought you were just going to sleep the day away,” Mari’s voice is soft and loving, reminiscent of the days when he was younger and in laid up in bed with a fever. She always had taken very good care of him, even when he didn’t feel like he’d needed it. Her support had been unwavering and Yuuri hadn’t always thanked her for it.

The room is blessedly shady and he’s grateful that someone thought ahead to dim the lights. He can only imagine how much worse the pain would be if he had woken to intensive bright lights. He looked around, seeing the familiar walls of his bedroom and realized with a little bit of panic that there was a good length of time missing from his memory.

“What happened?” he asked in confusion. He vey vaguely remembers running from his family to practice at Ice Castle and then someone rushing towards him while he lay motionless but the moments in between are hazy.

“You fell on the ice.” Mari replied, sounding subdued. She knew he only tended to fall when there was something bothering him and there was only a few things that it could have been this time around. Most falls, he could immediately spring back up from but very rarely did his instincts fail to catch him before he seriously hurt himself.

“Yuuko saw it happen. She thought you’d get right back up and shake it off but called dad after realizing that you hit your head. The doctor has already come over to check on you and left, prescribing some aspirin for the pain and Dad left to go get some for you. You woke up briefly while the doctor was here but have been out for a couple hours total. He was hoping to be back before you woke up,” Mari told him frankly. Yuuri grimaced, not remembering any of this at all. He also had a feeling that she was leaving something important out. A quick glance out the window told him that it was very late, possibly even after midnight, giving her story credit.

“You have a concussion but it’s not too bad thankfully. A few hours of feeling nauseas and a couple days of dealing with a splitting headache and you’ll be good as new. The doc said you might have some short term memory issues at first but they should clear on their own soon,” She continued.

“I thought I saw more than one person before I blacked out.” Yuuri said trying to focus on the hazy parts of his memory but in doing so, made it slip away all the easier. 

Mari sighed, appearing reluctant to tell him anything about the subject but relented when it was obvious that Yuuri was not going to drop it. “You did. A couple of Alphas snuck in after closing and were watching you skate. They saw you fall as well and rushed over to you before Yuuko could get to you first. Yuuko swears they were only trying to help but even so, you could have been seriously hurt. They could have taken advantage of you at any time while you were alone. Dad isn’t happy.” 

“Did he kick them out?” Yuuri asked, more curious than scared at the thought of two unknown Alphas watching him skate without his knowledge. 

“He wanted to but Mom talked him out of it. Looks like Yutopia was their final destination anyway and they just happened to take a detour to Ice Castle. They claimed they were lost and looking for someone to give them directions. I gotta say, for foreigners, they’re pretty damn cute. A couple of princes in shining armor,” She laughed and winked him.

He blushed despite having not seen them yet. Properly anyway. A hazy memory did not count in the slightest.

“You also might have an admirer. The older one keeps asking about you, wanting to know if you’re okay. Dad moved them into a room on the other side of the inn but you can still hear him pacing outside the door. He’s really shook up.” She teased him mercilessly.

“S-stop, Mari,” Yuuri stammered, hiding his beet-red face underneath his blankets. She laughed, letting her chuckles die out before staring at his hidden form with a serious look on her face.

“Yuuri, before you left…” She started and Yuuri peeked his face out from under the blankets to look at her, eyes widened. He looked so innocent despite all the hardship’s he’d been through.  
He moved to sit up and she helped him through a small bout of dizziness.

“We didn’t mean to upset you earlier,” She continued when Yuuri didn’t say anything, “I’m just so fed up with it all, you know. Mom sounded so upset that you didn’t get any offers of marriage and dad seemed disappointed as well. All I could think of was that horrible night before your wedding when you cried in my arms. I never told you because I knew it would make everything worse but I hated Akihiko for what he did to you. He had no right.”

“He had every right. He was my husband.” Yuuri replied sadly, looking away. He hated to admit it but it was true and hearing Mari slander Akihiko was unexpectedly upsetting. In the end, he could never truly say he hated the man. Yuuri had adapted to survive his situation, pushing forward despite having every reason to quit and become depressed. He would continue to do so until and after he remarried and could only hope that his next husband was as benign, if a little more interesting. 

“You’re only saying that because it’s what we’ve been told our entire lives. But it’s wrong, Yuuri. This whole damn world is wrong. You deserve to be able to be a competitive figure skater. You deserve to marry someone you love. You deserve everything and I’m sorry it can’t be that way.” Mari sounded like she was close to breaking down and it was the first time in his life that he could say he’d ever seen her cry. He didn’t realize that he was also crying until she was hugging him, his wet cheeks pushed up against her pink work uniform.

They sat there for a while, holding each other until they heard the muffled sound of their mom moving downstairs. Living in an onsen made for an interesting life. With a few major exceptions, the inner walls were all made out of shoji screens, with thin translucent paper the only thing insulating the rooms from heat or sound. Privacy was not something any of them were used to and Mari had loved teasing Yuuri the first and last time he’d had the urge to pleasure himself while someone else was home. The worst through was having to listen to their parents the few times they did have sex. Both of them had laid awake the first night it had woken them up, too traumatized to fall back asleep. Thankfully the guests rooms were kept on the other side of the onsen and they didn’t have to worry about being overheard by complete strangers.

“Are you hungry?” Mari asked when they had composed themselves. She was trying to act normal despite the fact that her face was blotchy.

“No,” Yuuri replied, feeling his stomach turn at the thought of food. He knew it was the concussion talking and not because he wasn’t genuinely hungry. He hadn’t eaten since early that morning but still didn’t feel like tempting fate by making himself sick. 

“How bout’ something easy on your stomach? I’m sure we still have some miso I can warm up.” Mari wasn’t fooled and Yuuri folded under her gentle insistence. He nodded silently and she gently kissed him on the forehead before getting up to leave. He watched in confusion as she suddenly stopped half way to the door, her attention drawn to all the posters on his walls.

“You know what I just realized,” she said turning back and grinning wildly, “The Alpha who carried you back from Ice Castle, the one who’s been so obsessed with the state of your heath, that’s him.” She pointed at the one pictures he had of Victor Nikifvirov, crouched down next to his brown poodle, Makkachin. His hair was still long in that particular picture but she was sure it was him. The sultry picture of him during one of his programs next to it proved her suspicions.

Yuuri let out a squeak in disbelief, almost falling out of his bed trying to get up to be able to confirm it. He stood and was immediately assaulted by a dizzy spell, causing him to stumble from the intense vertigo. Mari caught him before he fell again.

“Hey, the doc said you’re not supposed to get up yet. Besides falling is how you hurt yourself last time.” Mari chided and helped Yuuri get back to bed. By the time he was sitting again, his stomach had revolted and he choked back bile.

“Jeez, Yuuri. You need to learn how to take better care of yourself. Can I trust you to stay here while I go get you some food or will you sneak out to stalk him before I get back?” she teased him.

“I’ll stay.” He whimpered, holding his throbbing head in his hands.

“Good.” She patted him on the arm before leaving him. He laid back, holding the back of his hand up to his forehead. He couldn’t believe it. Was Mari merely taking great pleasure in teasing him again or was Victor really here, at his family’s hot spring? It was almost too good not to be a dream. Mari was just trying to get a rise out of him, he decided. There was no way that Victor would have any reason to come to Hasetsu, let alone a local onsen.

He cursed his traitorous heart that wouldn’t listen to reason. It was fluttering loudly in his chest, giving him false hope when there was none.

&&

“You need to calm down, Victor,” Yuri told him without opening his eyes. He had reverted back to speaking in Russian out of habit rather than necessity. He didn’t need to see the other Alpha to know that Victor was still keyed up after everything that had happened. The scent of his distress permeated the room, layering the air with a heavy musk.

After their host had all but threw them into a room, they both figured that it would be a good decision to lay low until things calmed down. Yuuri’s caretaker had been furious to see his son in the arms of an unknown Alpha and had been upset enough to consider turning them away. Propriety had won out with the help of his wife, who spoke softly to him in Japanese. They weren’t sure what she said but soon after, the man was calm once more and offered them a room for the night. It also helped that Yuuko, the young woman they’d met at the skating rink, had defended them against the horrible allegation that they were to blame for all of this.

‘As if,’ Yuri thought grumpily. This was what they got for trying to be nice… and trespassing.

The young Alpha was lounging on his bed, with his arms tucked behind his head and one of his legs crossed over his raised knee. 

“I’m fine.” Victor replied and Yuri snorted with derision. 

The older Alpha was too busy pacing the length of the room to listen though. Was Yuuri okay? Did he need anything? At least he wasn’t too hurt to need to go to the hospital, right? They’d tell him if he was or notice them leaving if that was the case. His protective instincts were going haywire and he felt like jumping out of his own skin. He was nervous in a way that he never had been during competitions and couldn’t even imagine being able to skate in this condition.

“I’m sure he’ll be alright. There was no blood and I don’t hear anyone crying about it.” Yuri said dismissively and was surprised when Victor let out vicious growl. The blonde jerked to look at him in shock. Mild-mannered Victor, who rarely raised his voice or got upset at anything, had all but threatened him without using words just for suggesting something bad could have happened to this unknown omega.

“What is your problem? You’re acting like their keeping you away from your mate.” Yuri admonished. His pride was insulted by Victor’s reaction and though he’d never admit it, he was even a little hurt as well.

“They are,” Victor growled furiously and then froze, eyes widening. What?

Why had he said that? Naturally he had a right to be worried as an Alpha because he had seen an omega fall and hurt himself. It was instinct. Falls like that could have had serious consequences but ultimately Yuri was right. He wasn’t acting like a concerned alpha, he was acting like a scorned mate.

“You’re being overdramatic,” Yuri scoffed, not willing to take his claim seriously.

“You’re right,” Victor agreed with a heavy sigh and forced himself to go and sit on the other bed. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the memory of that delicious scent. He could still smell it, even now, as if Yuuri was still tucked safely in his arms.

Yuri watched him with calculating eyes and then sighed, “Do you know if the hot springs are still open at this hour? Perhaps a soak wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” He said grudgingly. He still didn’t like the idea of a public bathhouse but he was up for anything to get them out of the small confines of this room. Maybe being outside would help clear Victor’s mind and air out the smell.

“I don’t know,” Victor replied noncommittally but stood up anyway to go check.

Both Victor and Yuuri made their way out of the room and down the hall, following the signs towards the hot spring entrance. The signs were all written in Japanese so they had no real way of knowing if they were still open this late but there were pictures next to them to direct them to where they needed to be. They would just have to go and see for themselves. 

They ran into Yuuri’s sister on the way there. She was holding a bowl of steaming soup in her hands and Victor starting asking the question he’d been dying to know before he even realized it.

“Yuuri is fine,” she said, eyes softening. She could tell that Victor’s worry was genuine and didn’t have an ulterior motive behind it like most Alpha’s she’d encountered. It was nice to see that not all Alpha’s thought with their knot first.

“He has a concussion. The doctor ordered him to be on bedrest tomorrow but he should be back to his normal mopey self before long.” She continued. Her English was rough but passable. She’d learned how to speak basic English in high school but had taken a more in-depth course after graduation, knowing that it might come in handy if they did have any international customers. Yuuri was the only one who spoke it more proficiently than her and that was just because he’d gotten bored when he was married and challenged himself to master a whole new language. That was only one of the many hobbies he’d picked up over the course of four years. Deep down, she’d knew that his dream of moving to America to find a professional figuring skating coach that would teach him how to skate to his upmost potential was still alive somewhere inside of him.

Victor let out an audible sigh of relief and appeared the most relaxed since she’d met him a couple of hours ago. He had it bad that was for sure. Perhaps with a little help, she could see if there was any hope of a potential marriage proposal in the future. She didn’t know Victor that well, beyond the excited ramblings that Yuuri had told her over the years but she did know that it would be the closest Yuuri ever got to his dream of being a figure skater. Plus, he was much more attractive than Akihiko and age appropriate.

Victor looked down at the bowl of soup she was carrying and was reminded of the fact that she was supposed to be getting Yuuri food. That implied he was awake enough to eat it.  
“Is that for Yuuri? Is he awake?” Victor asked urgently.

Mari gave him a patient smile, “Yes, he woke up a little while ago. His stomach’s upset because of the concussion but he hasn’t eaten since this morning so I know he’s starving.” She said.

Victor let out a noise of worried disapproval at the thought of Yuuri having not eaten. Someone should have made sure he’d eaten at lunch, surely.

Mari sniggered at his reaction, “You don’t know him very well yet but Yuuri is very stubborn. If he doesn’t want to do something, then he won’t unless someone makes him. And he does not react very well when someone forces him to do something.” She warned.

Victor didn’t like it but he could respect it. He knew he tended to be overprotective when it came to those he cared about and was amazed to find that Yuuri already fit into that category. He assumed it had something to do with instinct. Alphas were biologically created to take care of omegas. He hated the idea of the imposed slavery society had enforced when it came to omega rights but he couldn’t deny that every fiber of his being was itching to make sure that Yuuri was well taken care of. Just the idea of Yuuri being hurt or threatened caused his hackles to rise to an imagined threat. That had to mean something.

There was no such thing as soulmates, perfect halves that created a whole. Between Alpha, betas and omegas, there wasn’t some singular transcendent force that said two people were meant to be together. He supposed it would be easier that way. If they had an omniscient roadmap to the perfect person who would complete them in every way, it wouldn’t be as much of a hassle as it was to find a compatible mate to settle down with. Even for Alphas and Betas, who had the right to choose their own mate based on scent and compatibility, there was no guarantee of happiness so most didn’t wait, selecting a mate that was tolerable based on looks alone.

There were rare cases of two individuals with such compatible scents that it made sense for them to be together but finding someone like that was the same as having one in a million chances. Was it fate? If not fate, how could anything else possibly explain how drawn to Yuuri he was? How was it possible that out of all the places in the world, in random city in a different country, did he find the one person whose scent he was attracted to like no other? It seemed astronomically impossible, yet here he was.

“Listen,” Mari said, making him focus his attention back on her, “He’s not up for any visitors tonight but maybe you can come see him tomorrow? I’m sure he’d like some company and he’s such a big fan of yours.”

“Really?” Victor visually perked up at the mention of Yuuri being a fan, happy that the omega would be just as excited he was. He hoped he could live up to Yuuri’s expectations.

But what about Toshiyo Katsuki? The older caretaker hadn’t seemed especially fond of Victor after their unchaperoned and impromptu meeting at Ice Castle. Even he could understand that they both hadn’t made the most ideal first impression but he was determined to change that. 

“Are you sure it won’t get him in any more trouble,” Victor wanted to be sure. He wanted to do this right.

“Dad will calm down,” Mari could read in between the lines, “He’s actually not that bad of guy. I know he seemed intimidating but that was mostly because he was extremely upset at the situation. Yuuri overheard some family drama concerning him earlier today and had gone to the ice rink to skate and clear his mind. We decided to give him some space but then dad got even more upset when Yuuko called and told him that he had fallen. Add the fact that an unknown Alpha carried his son home when Yuuri was at his most vulnerable and things got a little out of hand. I’ll talk to him about it, don’t you worry,” Mari said adding a wink at the end.

Yuri groaned in disgust, “Can we go to the hot spring now? I cannot watch this any longer.” 

Victor shook his head ruefully at his rink mate. Yuri was still a young and impetuous Alpha. The hormones that triggered his aggression and dominance were running rampant because of puberty and he would settle down into a normal cycle in the next couple years. He would admit that his grouchiness grew on you after a while. It just took some patience to get used to his rude remarks and Victor had years of practice under this belt, though he doubted that an unknown Alpha would see it that way.

Victor was prepared to apologize on Yuri’s behalf when the female Alpha let out a shriek of laughter, a mischievous twinkle appearing in her eyes.

“You’re so cute! Unfortunately the onsen is closed for the night but will open again tomorrow morning if you two plan to stay long. Though it’s going to get confusing with two Yuuri’s around here. Therefore, I shall call you Yurio!” Mari replied causing the young blonde to bristle and yell a few choice words in Russian at her. Victor smiled at their antics and let out a pleased sigh.

“Do not call me that!” Yuri yelled vehemently, pointing at her. Victor put a hand on his shoulder and not so gently pushed him back in the direction of their room. It was probably better that they get some rest anyway and now that Victor knew Yuuri wasn’t seriously hurt, the adrenalin was wearing off. He could now feel the jet lag from the long day of travel they’d had.

“Thank you for lettings us know, Yurio and I will be returning to our room now,” Victor replied, ignoring Yuri’s loud complaints at his knew nickname. Victor was never going to let him forget it.

“No problem,” Mari said happily, “Come talk to me when you get up tomorrow and I can see about setting up a meeting with Yuuri.”

Victor nodded and bid her goodnight, watching as she walked away towards a staircase leading towards what he assumed was the owner’s private quarters. Even though he logically knew that Yuuri wasn’t seriously hurt, there was a part of him that needed to see him to make sure. He was glad that Mari appeared to be on his side.

He dragged Yurio back to the room and they both fell asleep quickly, exhaustion finally catching up to them.

&&

“Hey, I brought you some food.” Mari said as she closed the door to her brother’s bedroom behind her. Yuuri looked up at her and he sat up gingerly as she handed him a bowl. He let out a whine of frustration when she had to help him hold it, his fingers a little too shaky to be safe. 

Together they brought the side of bowl up to his mouth and slowly tilted it up. He took small sips from the lip, feeling the warm soup slide down his parched throat and settle in his belly. He didn’t quite realize how hungry he was until the soup was almost gone a few minutes later and Mari had let go of the bowl when it was clear he wasn’t going to drop it in his lap.

“See, I told you. You were hungry,” Mari said sounding smug about it. He smiled weakly at her and finished off the soup in a few gulps. His stomach was settled, earlier nausea thankfully absent, and he was now comfortably full.

“I will never doubt you again,” Yuuri said cheekily.

“Brat,” She smiled, resisting the urge to ruffle his hair, knowing that he was probably still in pain from his concussion, “I have a surprise for you!”

He cocked his head in confusion, giving her a slightly suspicious stare.

“Victor wants to meet you. So I thought tomorrow, after you get some rest, we can set up a meeting and you can thank your savior in person!” Mari said excitedly.

Yuuri stared at her in awe, “I thought you were joking about that.”

“I would never lie to you about something like this,” Mari was vaguely insulted that he assumed she would lie to him about meeting his idol, “He’s really here and he wants to meet you. Don’t you want to meet him? He’s all you talked about when you were a teenager!” She said.

“N-no! I mean I yes b-but…” he stared at all the posters on the wall. He was on imposed bed rest tomorrow which would force Victor to come into his room and the Alpha would see how much of a fan he really was. He’d die of embarrassment.

“Oh, Yuuri. I’m sure you’re not the only person who has pictures of their idols on their walls.” Mari said flippantly. Though she did concede that Yuuri had an inordinate amount of pictures of the same man in various different poses. It did sort of give a stalkerish vibe.

“He can’t see them!” He shook his head forcefully and then instantly regretted it as his head throbbed in pain.

“Okay. Okay,” Mari said reproachfully. She hadn’t meant to get Yuuri riled up to the point of hurting himself, “What if we take them down temporarily? I can help you do it in the morning after I talk to dad about letting Victor come see you.”

Yuuri looked up, tears prickling his eyes and finally agreed. Mari smiled encouragingly. She knew this was just what her brother needed and already had a few ideas on matchmaking that she was sure she could get Minako to help her with. They would make such a cute couple!

She was interrupted in her musings when she heard her father arrive downstairs, greeting her mother who had finished up cleaning in the kitchen. They spoke softly for a moment and then both turned to head upstairs.

Both of their parents knocked lightly on the door before opening it and Yuuri looked up at them.

“Oh, Yuuri. Mari didn’t tell me you were awake. I would have come and tended to you.” She said giving Mari a reproachful glare that didn’t have any real ire in it. She walked over and helped Yuuri sit up when it was apparent he was struggling to do so.

“It’s okay. She fed me a bowl of miso and I feel much better now.” Yuuri said, which wasn’t a complete lie. His headache had started to fade and already he could move with much less dizziness than before. They would still have to monitor him carefully for the next couple hours because of his head wound but he was already showing signs of improvement.

“She still should have informed us but it is good that she got you some food,” Toshiyo said, “The doctor recommend not taking your medication on an empty stomach,” He walked over and handed Yuuri a small white paper sack. Yuuri opened it and pulled out a small bottle of aspirin for him to take.

“Thank you dad,” Yuuri said gratefully. There was a glass of water that Yuuri had failed to notice on his bedside table and he swallowed one lone white pill with it.

“Mari has volunteered to watch over you tonight while you rest. I don’t want to overwhelm you but there is something important that we need to we need talk about in the morning.” Toshiyo said which caused Yuuri’s nerves to start fluttering. 

“Is it about what I overheard earlier?” he asked. Toshiyo shook his head fondly at his stubborn son and walked over, smoothing down his unsightly bedhead.

“Please don’t worry about it tonight and get some rest. You gave me and your mother quite the scare.” He said and leaned down, kissing him chastely on the forehead.

“I love you dad,” Yuuri said and used the convenient proximity to lean up to give him a hug.

“I always try and to do my best by you,” Toshiyo said something like regret coloring his tone, “I want you to never forget that.” 

Mari frowned but tried not to let her growing suspicions show on her face. Her mother was acting equally odd, sitting silently and staring at them with a blank look on her face. Mari didn’t say anything, not wanting to worry Yuuri unnecessarily.

“I know, dad,” Yuuri replied, completely oblivious, “It hasn’t always been easy.”

Toshiyo and Hiroko gave him one last hug before leaving to go to bed. Mari tucked him in and then watched as her little brother’s eyes started to droop, getting harder and harder to stay open. She kept an eye on his breathing as he fell asleep, making sure that he was still taking deep and even breaths. She would continue to do this until morning, hoping that whatever her parents had in mind, it wouldn’t be as bad as what she was imagining it to be.

&&

Mari was lightly dozing when she heard Yuuri start to move around and immediate snapped awake, upset that she had allowed herself to fall asleep even for just a moment. She was supposed to be watching over her baby brother and her parents had already given her the day off for willing to sit up with Yuuri to get some sleep.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Yuuri grinned playfully at her.

“Hush you,” Mari said sticking her tongue out at him in retort. 

“I don’t suppose you know what mom and dad want to talk about this morning,” he asked, curiously. She shook her head, feeling frustrated that she didn’t know the answers.

“I was helping the doctor when mom and dad left the room to talk privately last night. They wouldn’t tell me what they talked about but I was a little preoccupied with worrying about your lazy ass.” She said in mock disdain.

“I guess whatever it is, it can’t be good.” Yuuri sighed, stretching. His limbs were loose and relaxed and his headache was medicated down to a dull throb. He would need another dose of aspirin in a few hours but right now he felt almost as good as new.

“They wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it if it was good news,” Mari agreed apprehensively. 

“Maybe they found me a new husband,” he said in a poor attempt at a joke. Mari glared down at him. Not only was it in bad taste after last night but it wasn’t realistic to assume that a proposal would have shown up in such short notice.

“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly.

She was interrupted from replying by her parents, who knocked softly before entering.

“I’m glad your awake, son,” Toshiyo said as he walked over to Yuuri’s bedside and Mari offered him the chair she’d been using that belonged at his desk. She wanted to stretch her legs anyway and walked over to stand next to her mom.

“What did you want to talk about?” Yuuri said, trying to steel himself for the worst.

“Yuuri,” Toshiyo took his son’s hand, “I know that this will be hard to swallow at first but I want you to remember that it’s not the end of the world.”

“What’s going on dad?” Yuuri couldn’t take the stalling any longer, he needed to know what was so grave that his parents were acting like he was going to fall apart on them.

“We think that it would be best if you took a break from figure skating,” Toshiyo said calmly.

Yuuri stared at him, uncomprehendingly. The world had come to a screeching halt and he felt like gravity had reversed. His stomach churned from an intense vertigo that overcame him.

“What the hell are you saying dad?” Mari was yelling but it sounded muffled to Yuuri’s ears, like he had cotton stuffed in them.

“If you’re just going to upset your brother further, you should leave Mari,” Hiroko said coldly, “Your father and I have already talked about this extensively and we do not require your input.”

“How long?” Yuuri whispered, feeling like he already knew the answer but still needed to hear them say it.

“Yuuri, we’ve allowed you to continue skating because we didn’t think it was fair you had to give up on all your passions when you presented as an omega but you could have been seriously hurt this time. If Yuuko hadn’t of been in the room when you had fallen or if you had hit your head harder, you would have been there long enough for the damage to be irreparable. And those two Alpha’s could have done anything to you and you would have been defenseless with only another omega for support. Also, Fumiko-san called us earlier and told us that she can’t keep you on as a student any longer and we think it’s best if you stop training to focus on skills that will help with attainable dreams.” Toshiyo explained, making Yuuri feel sick to his stomach but unable to throw it up.

“I can’t believe your still blaming them for something that didn’t happen. Victor and Yurio didn’t do anything to him! You should be grateful they were there since they were able to get him back home quicker than Yuuko alone would have been able too,” Mari yelled, ignoring both her parents arguments for her to leave.

“Mari, please. We just think that Yuuri should focus on constructive hobbies that will help him in future,” Hiroko pleaded, sounding frazzled.

“You mean to find a husband,” Yuuri said dully, with a lifeless look in his eyes.

“Once you are remarried, you can negotiate with your Alpha to continue if that is what you wish but I honestly think if you gave your life a chance without skating, you’d enjoy it just as much,” Hiroko added, trying to stay positive about the situation.

“You guys are despicable. Do you even hear yourselves?” Mari continued to shout but Yuuri couldn’t hear them anymore. A life without skating wasn’t a life he wanted to envision. He couldn’t imagine getting up every day knowing that the skill he worked so hard at perfecting was slowly dying inside of him. By the time he got married, would he even remember how to skate? Would his husband even allow it? He was the farthest away from his dream of becoming a professional figure skater than he'd ever been in his entire life and the illusion he'd been able to foster all these years was crumbling around him. He barely noticed that his breathing was coming in shallow pants and it felt like he couldn’t expand his lungs to get enough oxygen. The world was slowly spinning in all different directions, as if he was upended from reality.

“Come on,” Mari’s pained whispers finally reached the void inside of him, “Breathe with me.” He was pressed up against her chest and she was taking slow deep breaths, trying to encourage him to copy her. His lips and fingers tingled, color turned slightly blue. It took him a minute to realize how close to passing out he’d come.

“I’m here.” She continued to speak softly, rubbing a hand up and down his back. The touch helped keep him grounded and he whimpered in distress. “I know,” She said in response.

The room was empty besides them and Yuuri honestly didn’t care to know when that had happened.

“I kicked them out,” Mari said as if reading his mind, “I’ve always been better at talking you off a ledge and they know that.”

“Why?” he whispered and she knew he wasn’t talking about kicking them out of the room.

“I don’t know, Yuuri,” she said sadly, pressing her forehead to his, “But I promise you I will get them to change their mind. They can’t do this to you.” 

Yuuri spent the next hour in Mari’s arms, unable to even cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This chapter was supposed to include Yuuri and Victor's first official meeting but the original draft was around twenty pages long so I cut it to include in the next chapter. Just to give you an idea of how invested I am into the story, I had to condensed this chapter down to eleven pages. And good news, I'm proof reading the next chapter and sending it off to my unofficial beta because I have no life outside of school and work it seems. Next chapter should be out soon.


	4. A Date to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a little fun with this chapter and expanded it from where I had originally cut it off so now it's around 17 pages. I was amazed when I looked at the word count and found to be 9,798 words. That's 202 words short of 10,000.... I'm proud of myself.
> 
> Thanks for all the support! Your comments are all so lovely.

Two days day passed by in a blur. Yuuri continued to lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling in a state of numbed apathy. He rarely spoke, content to just let his mind cycle through endless thoughts of despair and hopelessness. It was easy to recognize the familiar signs of depression and instead of fighting it like he’d done in the past by jumping into an excessive amount of hobbies to keep himself busy, he willingly let himself sink into it. His body felt unnaturally heavy, as if laden by an unmovable force.

Mari continued to check on him every couple of hours without fail. Sometimes she would appear with his favorite foods and make him drink some water, urging him to eat something despite that fact that he was never hungry. Seeing the fear on her face each time he refused made him want to try anyway but he’d only been able to pick at the flood on his plate before eventually pushing it away half-eaten. In his youth, his weight had fluctuated like a yo-yo because he’d gained weight easily despite continuous activity but with all the stress of the last year, he’d lost enough weight to be for it to be considered unhealthy.

Other times she would sit on the floor in front of him, talking at him about the most inane topics ranging from the latest TV drama she had been watching, to funny gossip she’d overheard from their customers and to the weather forecast. He never contributed to the flow of conversation but every so often he would squeeze her hand to let her know that he was actively listening to her.

Yuuri’s chest felt hollow, as if vital organ had been physically ripped from him and his body couldn’t compensate for the loss of it.

His parents had only attempted to visit him once, both at different times although they might as well have come together since they achieved the same result. Both of them had attempted to make him talk about their decision, giving him more of their rationalizations. But they soon gave up when it was obvious he wasn’t going to cooperate and left him alone to his thoughts. Yuuri refused to look them in the eye the entire time, stubbornly keeping his gaze on his ceiling.

The afternoon after he had been given the news of his forced retirement from figure skating, he had curled up in a ball as he listened to Mari argue with their parents, begging them to reconsider. The fight lasted for hours and by the end of it, Yuuri had lost all hope of ever being able to skate again. Mari returned to him with a slumped posture and fervent apology for her failure after she’d promised him that she would get them to reconsider.

He sighed and rolled over onto his side, needing a change of scenery. He’d finished counting the cracks in the ceiling for the third time that hour and was uninterested in going for a fourth. He briefly considered getting up, knowing that lying in bed all day was not going to solve anything but gave up when he couldn’t find the appropriate energy.

 His eyes caught one of the posters of Victor on his walls and he was reminded of Mari’s insistence that that his idol had wanted to meet him. He wondered what excuse Mari had given Victor when it was obvious that he wasn’t in any state to entertain visitors and if Victor would even want to see him now, knowing what a complete disappointment he was. The only thing he had going for him that Victor would be the least bit impressed by was his persistent determination to continue figuring skating despite the fact that he was an omega. Now he didn’t even have that.

An unexpected rage overtook him and suddenly he was up and out of bed. He walked over with long determined strides and unceremoniously ripped Victor’s smiling face off the wall. The flimsy paper tore underneath the force and ripped down the middle of the alpha’s smiling face. He didn’t want any form of Victor seeing him like this and moved onto the next poster, giving it the same treatment. By the time he was done, his walls were bare and he was sitting in the middle of a pile of ripped paper, face buried into his knees with his arms wrapped around his legs, heaving deep sobs.

It was the first time that he’d cried since the proverbial bomb had been dropped on his life, leaving only devastation in its wake and it didn’t make him feel any better for having ‘let it out.’

Mari found him like that a little while later. His tears had dried up, leaving his face red and stained. She looked around at the destruction he’d caused and let out a soft sigh at seeing her brother suffering. She kneeled in front of him and tried to hug him but was surprised when he pushed her away violently, flailing wildly as though a dominant force had taken over his body and was trying to relieve the tension that was inside of him. Mari held his arms down when he started lashing out, trying to protect himself and her from the overwhelming grief.

Eventually Yuuri exhausted himself out and stopped moving altogether, becoming little more than dead-weight in Mari’s embrace. She let out the breath she’d been holding in, simultaneously impressed and distressed by Yuuri’s abnormal stamina. She hadn’t been able to get Yuuri’s full attention despite calling out his name many times as he continued to stare blankly at her with deadened eyes.

“Yuuri,” she said tentatively when he didn’t react for a few moments. Yuuri lifted his head to look at her and then let it fall onto her shoulder when it proved too heavy to hold it up and lethargically squeezed her arm in reply.

“Do you want to take a shower?” she asked instead of trying to force him to explain his outburst. Yuuri had experienced bouts of depression his entire life but this was something she had never seen before. It was scary to see her brother like this but she was determined to pull him back out of it. Getting him into a shower would be the first step. He hadn’t had a shower in a couple of days and must be feeling grimy about now. Maybe after that, she could convince him to go to the hot spring, knowing that he always felt better after a long soak.

Yuuri shrugged noncommittally but it was more of a response than she’d gotten in the last few days so she took that as a positive sign. She helped him stand, easily maneuvering his pliant body up and out the door towards the bathroom. He didn’t react when she abruptly undressed him and put him into the shower, uncaring of his nudity.

“I’ll be back. I’m going to go get you a towel from downstairs. I used the last one this morning.” Mari said and then left him alone to clean himself off. He stared at the tiled wall listlessly, feeling the warm water rain down on the back of his neck and shoulders, dark hair flattening against his skull. He stood in the downpour for a few more moments before reaching for the soap.

Mari descended from their private quarters and walked towards laundry room to get the load she started earlier. Hiroko was already there, folding the towels silently. She looked up at Mari when her daughter entered and watched as she grabbed a towel and waited until she had turned to leave before saying anything.

“Yuuri is up then,” she said brightly, “I thought I heard the water running.”

“He’s taking a shower.” Mari replied politely, decided that she was only going to speak to her parents as much as she had to. They had an onsen to run after all and Yuuri was too pure of heart to be the reason for their families business to suffer because of him.

“That’s a good sign! Hopefully that means he’s feeling better and we’ll see more of him.” Hiroko continued, forcing a smile. She wasn’t oblivious to her daughter’s anger or her son’s unhappiness and could only hope that once everything blew over, they could all go back to being a happy family again.

Mari bristled at the naivety in her mother’s tone but refused to react to it. Yelling hadn’t gotten through to her before and it wasn’t going to now.

“I doubt you’re going to like what you see when he does,” Mari replied cryptically and left before her mother could reply. She left the towel in the bathroom and went back to Yuuri’s bedroom, cleaning up the remains of what was once a dedicated passion. Mari understood why he did it and had nothing to do with liking or disliking Victor. Unconsciously, Yuuri was tearing up the reminder of what he thought he couldn’t have anymore.

She looked down at the remains of a poster of Victor’s face and thought about the real life version of the man, who was still here and patiently waiting.

Victor had been excruciatingly polite when she had told him that Yuuri still didn’t feel well enough for visitors. She’d had to come up with a quick explanation, telling him that while the headaches caused by the concussion were intermittent, they left him in a lethargic state and he was asleep most of the time. Not a total lie but she left out the part about the fact that her parents had all but destroyed what remained of Yuuri’s happiness.

She left the Alpha with a promise him that she would try again in a few days though she could tell that both of their foreign guests were getting restless and frustrated. Both for different reasons.

Victor’s reason was easily apparent. The longer he was denied access to Yuuri, the harder time he had reigning in his protective instincts. Yurio on the other hand was impatient to leave Japan and this entire situation behind them. He was irritated by Victor’s refusal to even consider leaving, eager to get back home to begin training for the upcoming season.

The spent a lot of time in the common dining area reserved for the guests, often reverting to speaking in their own language more often than not but the few times that Yurio had voiced his displeasure in English, all his complaints had been about going home.

She hopes for Yuuri’s sake that Victor continues to hold out against the younger Alpha’s insistence and that they would stay long enough for them to properly meet. With everything that had happened, she was certain that Yuuri’s only chance at true happiness resided with Victor and that her duty as his older sister was to make it happen. Now she just needed a plan.

Yuuri resumed his normal duties the next day. He agreed to go back to work when his dad had asked about his health the night before, silently nodding when Toshiyo inquired about his good health. Mari was nervous about letting him go back to work but after lying in bed for three days, Yuuri was adamant about keeping himself busy.  It kept him from thinking too much.

Within their family, Mari was the only one who could get him to say anything. He hardly spoke when his parents tried to talk to him, only giving a couple words in response to their questions but they were both reluctant to push him, agreeing to let him go at his own pace. They had him help out in the kitchen, away from the customers when it was clear he wasn’t in a right mind to deal with them.

When he was finished for the day, Yuuri and Mari would eat their dinner in either of their bedrooms, leaving both Hiroko and Toshiyo to eat by themselves in the dining room. Hiroko was growing more and more despondent at the rift that had split apart her family but took comfort in the thought that that it couldn’t go on forever. Yuuri just needed time to adjust and Mari needed time to settle down. Everything would be alright in the end

&&

“This is ridiculous, Victor!” Mari overheard Yurio as he corned Victor for the second time that day, shouting in English thankfully, “We’ve been in Japan for five days now. You’ve seen the stupid ninja castle and the hot spring. I want to go home!”

“I want to visit the outdoor market today,” Victor replied, shrugging unconcernedly, “And I was recommended to try a delicious ramen shop down the street! And Shochu! I read in the guide that it’s popular in this region!” He sounded like an excitable child, easily amused by new experiences.

“Don’t treat me like I am an imbecile, you lush!” Yurio continued angrily, “This has nothing to do with ramen or alcohol. It’s that omega you’re mooning over. Stop acting like a lovesick idiot and let’s go back to Russia.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Yurio!” Victor said, managing to escape from Yuri’s clutches while the younger Alpha protested his nickname again. Mari silently giggled, approving of Victor using the nickname she had come up with on whim. You’d think the young Alpha would just give in and accept it but the man was stubborn.

Mari listened to him bicker until they disappeared around the corner, heading towards the front entrance. Once they were gone, she smiled manically as she thought up the most brilliant idea. Rushing to the kitchen, she found Yuuri, who was chopping a daikon radish for the cook to use in tonight’s dinner.

She marched over to him with fervent expression, “You need to go to the market today.” She said insistently.

Yuuri looked at her in confusion, “Shio-san already went yesterday and got all the supplies we need for the week,” he argued, not in the mood to play one of Mari’s mind-games.

She grabbed the radish that he had been chopping and pushed it all over into the trash.

“Oh look, we’re out of daikon,” she said mock innocently and Yuuri scowled at her while reaching for another to start chopping again.

“That’s wasteful, Mari.”

“Yuuri-chan,” Shio spoke up softly, sounding embarrassed. She was a soft-spoken middle-aged beta, with a shy personality but excellent cooking skills. She had worked at the onsen for almost as long as Yuuri had been alive, “I actually might need you to run to the market. I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the shopping list yesterday and forgot to get leek for the Mizutaki.”

Yuuri sighed softly and started untying the apron around his waist, “Oh, course Shio-san. I’ll go get some.”

“Hurry, Yuuri,” Mari said taking his arm and dragging him out of the kitchen. He protested loudly as she all but ripped his arm out of his socket trying to get him out of the onsen.

“Now, don’t come back too soon. Spend some time looking around a bit. You haven’t been out of the house in a week.” She said, thrusting his shoes and money into his hands and then shoving him out the front door.

“Now I just have to call in some reinforcements to make sure he actually does what I say,” Mari said smugly and pulled out her phone, dialing a familiar number.

“Minako, I need your help.” She said as soon as the phone connected.

&&

Yuuri was annoyed when he entered the bustling market place, having been unexpectedly kicked out of his own house and on top of that, he’d run into Minako on the way there. Normally he’d have been happy to see his once teacher and good family friend but she seemed too giddy to have ‘accidently’ run into him. She had that mischievous twinkle in her eye that Mari sometimes got when she was scheming.

“And what was wrong with that stall?” Yuuri asked as the passed another perfectly good selection of vegetables from an outdoor vendor. The market was a long grid of stalls, full of vendors selling everything from various food items to children’s toys. It was the also the freshest source of vegetables within walking distance to the onsen. He would have needed transportation to get to the supermarket and Mari hadn’t really given him the option. Minako was being needlessly picky today, passing each stall with a shake of her head, seemingly looking for something specific.

“Please, did you see that last stall? There wasn’t a fresh leek to be found,” Minako said, proudly, “The customers of Yutopia deserve to be served only the finest selection of vegetables. I eat there sometimes after all.”

“They looked fine to me.”

“It’s a good thing you ran into me because obviously you need help if you think that those were even acceptable options.” Minako replied, “Stick with me kid, and I’ll makes sure you get to where you need to be.”

“I think I would have already been back home now if I hadn’t run into you.” Yuuri grumbled, irrationally irritated about the whole situation.

They walked around for another ten minutes before Minako found what she was looking for. It wasn’t hard to find two foreigners in the market, especially ones that stuck out as much as Victor and Yurio, both with pale faces and light colored hair but the crowds were especially busy around midday.

“I think I found the perfect thing,” Minako said excitedly and dragged him forward. He opened his mouth to tell her that the stall they had stopped in front of wasn’t even selling food before he was unexpectedly shoved forward, stumbling into another person before he could catch himself.

A pair of strong arms caught him mid-fall but the awkward angle caused the man to lose his balance and stumble backwards with Yuuri ending up in his lap. Yuuri whined in discomfort as he pushed himself up to relieve the pressure of the man’s hip bone digging into his sternum. In doing so, he inadvertently put himself face to face with the man (and he could tell it was a man from the innocuous bulge he had inadvertently rubbed against) he had so rudely been pushed into and Yuuri’s whole face lit up in mortification at seeing familiar baby blue eyes. He quickly stood up with rushed apologies already spilling from his lips, half in English and Japanese.

Victor paid him no mind, quickly standing up and closing the gap Yuuri had created, cradling the omega’s head as he checked for any new injuries.

“Are you okay?” Victor asked panicked, “Did you fall and hurt yourself again? Are you still dizzy from the concussion?”

“Concussion?” Minako whispered to herself in confusion. Mari hadn’t told her that Yuuri was injured.

“I-I’m f-fine!” Yuuri whispered, horrified by his complete and utter lack of decorum. If the stories were to be believed, Victor had saved him when he’d fallen on the ice and had now saved him again from his friend’s careless actions.

“Good, I’m glad.” Victor said surprising him by smiling widely. He’d been so worried when Yuuri had fallen into him and his hands were still shaking from the stress of it but in spite of that, he was so happy. He hadn’t expected to literally run into the omega he’d been fixated on at the market but he counted his blessings, figuring that someone must be looking out for him.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be so clumsy off the ice, given how graceful you were on it.” Victor said in attempt to lighten the mood a little, seeing how flustered the omega still was. While it was adorable to see, he wasn’t so sure it was the first impression that he wanted to have with Yuuri. There were be time later he hoped, to tease him.

“I’m not normally I promise! I just… tripped on something,” Yuuri ended up lying, pausing to give Minako a shrewd glare but she was turned away from them, pretending to peruse a nearby stall selling purses.

“Well maybe you should watch where you’re going next time, moron,” Another Russian voice interrupted whatever Victor was going to say next. Yuuri assumed this was the second Alpha that Mari had talked about, Yurio, if he remembered her nickname correctly. Now after seeing him in person, Yuuri recognized him as Yuri Plisetsky, gold-medal finalist for the Junior Grand Prix Finals. The young alpha had just finished competing in the junior division and would be skating his senior debut this season. The Alpha very accomplished for a fifteen year old boy, more so then he was at twenty-three.

Victor turned to look at Yuri sharply and they both appeared to be having an intense silent conversation. Yuuri’s eyes widened in disbelief when he recognized it as a battle of wills between two Alphas to establish dominance. Yuri held his own against Victor but eventually gave in and lowered his gaze, showing his resentful submission to a more dominant Alpha.

“Gomen'nasai,” Yuuri bowed in apology and then turned away in shame, figuring that his life had already hit rock bottom and now it was just taunting him. Of course the first time he met his idol, he would make a complete fool of himself.

“Do you want to come and shopping with us?” Victor called out, making Yuuri stop and look back at him in surprise. He said ‘us’ to sound like he was including the other Alpha but Yuuri somehow got the distinct impression that he was only inviting him to come along.

“I shouldn’t….” Yuuri trailed off uncertainly. He couldn’t. Not alone. It was unheard of for an unmated Alpha and omega to be seen together in public without a chaperone.

“It’s not like we’ll be truly alone, not with so many people here. I promise we won’t leave the market.” Victor said, holding out a hand to him, “It would also be useful if I had someone to translate for me. I don’t speak the language and it seems no one here knows English. I’m sure I’m getting swindled out of some good deals.” He continued, sounded too charming to argue against.

“I cannot take any more of this,” Yuri said in irritation and walked away, heading back in the direction of the onsen. Yuuri was surprised when Victor didn’t react to Yuri’s departure, blue eyes trained on the omega as he waited for an answer. He glanced back at Minako nervously and she made a shooing motion, stepping back so she was far enough away that it gave them the illusion of privacy but was still always in a line of sight.

He relaxed, “Sure.”

Taking Victors hand, he let the Alpha pull him in so that he could link their arms together, giving the impression that they were a young couple strolling through the market.

“I never did introduce myself but your sister tells me you’re a fan so I don’t suppose I have to,” Victor started, sounding very pleased with himself. Yuuri supposed he had the right to be proud of his accomplishments and fortunately he didn’t sound overly arrogant, like he was rubbing his fame in Yuuri’s face. He appreciated that.

Yuuri also noticed that for someone who was supposed to be out shopping, Victor’s eyes never strayed to the stalls full of merchandise, keeping them focused on him the entire time. This realization caused him to preen unconsciously, growing more confident at the thought of an Alpha of Victor’s caliber considering him something worth looking at.

Yuuri had never felt like he was worth anything to anyone, not when it truly mattered. His family and friends were supportive of him for the most part but he’d never felt like he was anything special. Akihiko definitely never thought so, keeping him sheltered like a fragile doll to be taken out and dusted every so often but never appreciated.

“Anyone who knows anything about figure skating knows who you are,” Yuuri replied, shrugging, “Victor Nikiforov is not someone you’d mistake for a common Alpha.”

“I supposed I have made a name for myself,” Victor acknowledges, “But what about you? I’ve seen you skate. You are more talented than half the skaters I’ve seen in recent competitions.”

Yuuri blushed at the compliment, smiling in delight. That was high praise coming from a medal-winning skater like Victor. “Thank you. I’ve did ballet when I was younger, which helped with my skating but that was before I presented. Now it’s quite impossible for me to compete on your level though I’ve always wanted to try.”

“It is a shame. I would have enjoyed competing against you.” Victor said truthfully. The more he talked to Yuuri, the more the wanted to know. He was becoming quite addicted to learning every little thing he could about the omega.

“How old are you? What is your favorite food?” Victor fired off rapid questions, out of the blue.

“Twenty-three and Katsudon,” Yuuri replied nervously, “A-ah, a port cutlet bowl with egg over rice, is how you would describe it in English. It’s our house specialty at Yutopia.”

“Mmmm….” Victor made sound of eager anticipation, “I will have to definitely try it tonight!”

“Can I ask why you are in Hasetsu?” Yuuri asked, trying to shift conversation off him in embarrassment.

“I came to Japan for the Worlds competition and was supposed to be back in Russia by now but I decided to take some time off to sightsee before training starts for next season. Hasetsu was a little bit of a random choice but I’m glad that I made it,” Victor said keeping his eyes trained on Yuuri has he said the last part, leaving an implication unsaid.

“Y-you said you wanted to do some shopping,” Yuuri reminded him and Victor laughed. He finally took his eyes off Yuuri and glanced around, just now noticing how many people were staring at them. People staring at him wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, he was a foreigner and quite a pretty one at that. Victor didn’t like to admit it but he was just vain enough to know just how attractive he was and his large fanbase had only bolstered his ego. But something was different.

Instead of reverence or admiration, he got the feeling that the people who were watching him were doing so with suspicion and judgement, something he admittedly wasn’t used to. There were whispers in Japanese that he couldn’t understand and though no one was directly pointing at them, it felt like they were the center of unwanted attention. He knew the Japanese tended to be a little apprehensive about foreigners but this attention seemed to be too hypercritical to be anything like that.

“Just ignore them,” Yuuri whispered, eyes ducking in shame. It was normal for him to hear the disapproving gossip from his neighbors but had to be strange for Victor.

“What is wrong, Yuuri?” Victor asked, noticing how quiet Yuuri had become now that he was aware of the people around him. His brown eyes were darting back and forth nervously, and he was unconsciously drawing into himself in an attempt to make himself smaller and unnoticeable.

“Not here,” Yuuri shook his head and with uncharacteristic strength and speed, pulled Victor away from the crowed and into a small café. The lunch rush had just ended and most of the tables were blessedly empty. The owner gave them both a distrustful look before resuming cleaning the counter.

Yuuri led them over to a table in the corner of the room and they both took a seat. He needed a moment to calm down. His breathing was coming in and out a little too fast and could feel the tight ball of anxiety in his chest, warning him about an impending full blown panic attack.

“Are you okay?” Victor took his hand, griping it firmly and looking so concerned.

“I’m good,” Yuuri finally replied and was pleased say that he really did. The moment the Alpha had touched him, his anxiety had slowly melted away as he stared into Victor’s blue eyes.

“I’m sorry about that,” Yuuri said plainly, “It’s my fault they were staring at us like that.”

Victor looked confused, “We weren’t doing anything improper.”

“No…” Yuuri sighed, “I’m not… It’s complicated,” He finally decided on. Part of him wanted to tell Victor, to clear the air but another part of him wanted to keep it from him as long as he could. Victor looked at him like no other Alpha had, like he was something to be cherished and he wanted to savor that for just a little longer. He knew that once Victor found out about Akihiko, everything would change.

“Then let’s forget about it.” Victor said smiling at him. He could see that whatever Yuuri wanted to tell him was causing the omega a great deal of stress so he steered away from the topic, “I’ve always wanted to try some Mochi. Do they sell any here?”

“N-no, I don’t think so,” Yuuri stammered nervously when he realized that Victor was still holding his hand and that they had somehow lost Minako when he’d made a dash to the café.

Victor looked so disappointed that Yuuri forgot about propriety, throwing all caution to the wind. After everything that has happened, he thought he deserved to have a little fun, “But I know where we can get some,”

Yuuri held onto Victor’s hand as he dragged him towards the nearest convenience store. To Victor the store seemed very cluttered, with rows and rows of brightly colored candy, chips and drinks. There were so many options to pick from that he didn’t even know where to start and given that he couldn’t read half the labels, he was feeling a little overwhelmed. He squeezed Yuuri’s hand for encouragement and then watched as Yuuri went around and gathered a bunch of items for him to try. Victor adored his enthusiasm and couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

By the time he was done and Victor insisted on paying, they ended up on a bench outside the infamous ninja castle with a bag full of treats.

“It’s very pink,” Victor commented as Yuuri ripped into the packaging of a friendly looking sea creature with many squiggly legs, either tiny squid or octopus. He wasn’t sure how well that would bode for him but considering most of the candy had colorful mascots on the wrapping that didn’t have anything to do with flavor or taste, he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Yes, it is. It’s Otsumami, Mentaiko Sakiika flavored,” Yuuri said, smiling teasingly. He was having fun playing with Victor’s ignorance in Japanese snacks and insisted on having him try them each one by one and only after would he tell him what is was.

“I trust you are not trying to poison me,” Victor was never one to back down from a challenge and promptly ate the light-pink chunk that Yuuri had handed him. He coughed, not expecting something so bright to be quite so salty. It had the consistency of dried meat and was unexpectedly tough and chewy.

“It’s very salty,” Victor said trying in vain to hide his dislike. He preferred sweet treats as opposed to those that were bittersweet or salty, “What is it?” he asked curiously.

“Marinated Squid Egg Jerky,” Yuuri said impishly and Victor laughed wholeheartedly when he realized that Yuuri was much feistier than he let on.

“That explains it,” he said, “I was never a fan of squid much less squid eggs.”

“Wanna try again?” Yuuri set down the bag of jerky and picked up another treat.

“Moonlight,” Victor read the English words on the blue box. It had the picture of two sweet cakes with a white creamy filling in the center but after the squid eggs, he wasn’t about to make any assumptions. Maybe the filling was made with oysters since this area of Japan was popular for its variety in seafood.

“Here,” Yuuri handed him one and Victor was a little more cautious about trying it. The yellow portion was hard like an English biscuit and semi-sweet, though not not as sweet as he would have liked, with a rich creamy filling. It wasn’t bad but it was all the better when he didn’t detect any surprising flavors.

“It’s just a cookie filled with white chocolate,” Yuuri said shaking his head ruefully at him.

“You tricked me on the first one so I had to be on my guard,” Victor replied in his defense.

“You’re right,” Yuuri admitted with a chuckle, “Try this one. I promise it has no squid in it.”

The packaging was tiny compared to the others and had the picture of cartoonish cherries on the front of it. When Yuuri opened it, he pulled out a small plastic tray with twelve cube shaped pink candies inside. Each one was only the size of Victor’s pinky and Yuuri used a small toothpick to poke into the squishy substance, offering it to him. Victor ate it without question.

“It’s… interesting,” Victor said, trying to decide if he liked it or not. It was soft and chewy but had an odd texture with an almost flour-like taste to it, which was an odd in combination with the artificial cherry flavor.

“And this is?” Victor asked. It wasn’t horrible but it was definitely an acquired taste.

“Sakuranbo Mochi,” Yuuri said and ate one for himself, “Japanese cherry,”

“So… that was Mochi, huh?” Victor said slowly, appearing to be in deep thought.

“Do you not like it?”

“Hey, Yuuri,” Victor said suddenly, “What is Mochi?”

Yuuri didn’t say anything at first, wondering if Victor had just played the biggest joke on him. Though if he was making fun of him, he was also very good at acting like he was being genuine about it.

“You’ve always wanted to try it and you don’t know what it’s made out of?” Yuuri asked incredulously.

“I overheard someone talk about it years ago and just never had the opportunity to try it,” Victor said simply, “I don’t know if I like it.”

Yuuri laughed and shook his head, deciding to take the situation at face value and not read anything more into it. Maybe Victor was just that clueless.

“I’m glad I didn’t grab you the bean paste flavor then. I thought you’d like something a little more familiar.” He said.

“Bean paste?” Victor repeated, sounding uncertain about the idea of it.

“It’s sweet and savory,” Yuuri replied, “But definitely not for everyone,”

They continued to try all the treats from the bag and Victor was successful in getting Yuuri to eat a lot of them too, though the seemed to enjoy a lot more of them compared to Victor. Yuuri was far too skinny and though Victor remembered Mari saying something about Yuuri missing dinner the day he had fallen because he was upset about a discussion with his family, he didn’t like the idea of Yuuri skipping meals. He didn’t know if it was a regular thing or if it was only when he was stressed but it wasn’t a healthy habit either way and Victor aimed to change that.

It was only after the sky had started to darken that Yuuri realized something crucial. He checked his phone and saw that he had several missed phone calls and text message from both Mari and Minako.

“Oh, no!” he jumped up in blind panic, “I forgot about the leek!”

“That is a vegetable, right?” Victor asked standing up with him. Cooking had never been his forte.

 “Yes! I was supposed to buy some this afternoon at the market. It’s why I was there! And now here I am here, having been gone all day and all alone with you. If my dad finds out, he will never let me out of the house again! He can’t take that from me too!” Yuuri rambled hysterically.

“It’s okay, Yuuri. I’m sure we can just explain everything. And we can stop by and get the stuff you need,” Victor took Yuuri’s hand, trying to get him to calm down. They’d both been so caught up having fun that they had forgotten about the giant taboo they were breaking. They would be lucky if Yuuri’s father didn’t accuse him of anything more unsavory.

“The market will be closed by now and I don’t have any way to get to the store. I have to call my sister,” Yuuri said dejectedly, not knowing what else to do. Victor reluctantly let him go, watching as he walked a few feet away to make the call.

Yuuri shakily dialed his sister’s number and waited for her to pick up.

“Yuuri, thank god. It’s been all day and I haven’t heard from you. Minako said she got separated from you hours ago!” Mari said frantically.

“I know, I’m sorry!” Yuuri felt a horrible weight crushing his chest and he tried not to panic any more than he already was, “I was just having fun with Victor and we lost track of time. I also forgot to get the food you sent me out for…”

“You’re still with Victor?” Mari said and then squealed in happiness, “Oh, Yuuri! I’m so happy for you! I knew I did the right thing! But you should have checked in with me or Minako. Do you know how worried we’ve been?” she said mock sternly.

“Nothing happened. We just talked and he wanted to try some of our treats,” Yuuri protested weakly, squirming.

“Treats, huh? You’re suuuuuure nothing happened?” Mari continued teasingly, though deep down she completely trusted her brother.

“M-mari!” Yuuri squeaked.

“Alright, I’ll stop. Do you need a ride?” Mari said in a much more serious tone.

“It might be for the best though it would be rude not to give Victor a ride too,” Yuuri said and then sighed, “How much trouble am I in? Am I ever going to be allowed out of my room?”

“Don’t worry about that, dad doesn’t know. I covered for you. I also drove to the supermarket and grabbed a stalk of leek since you’d been gone so long,” Mari said and Yuuri felt so relieved that he could cry.

“H-how?” he asked, wiping away a few errant tears.

“I told him you weren’t feeling well today and thought some fresh air would do you some good. Both mom and dad think you went to go visit Akihiko’s grave. Minako agreed to say that she drove you over and was with you all day,”

“Thank you,” Yuuri said gratefully, tears falling in earnest now.

“Your smiling, Yuuri,” Mari said sounding incredibly relieved, “After what happened, I was worried you’d never smile again,”

“You can’t even see me,” Yuuri replied, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

“I can hear it in your voice, you’re definitely smiling,” Mari insisted, “Does he make you happy, Yuuri?”

“Yea, he does,” Yuuri replied bashfully, glancing over at Victor, who was watching him in concern. The Russian had no idea how the conversation was going due to the fact that Yuuri was speaking in rushed Japanese but the smile on his face had to mean that it wasn’t the end of the world.

“Good. Let me call Minako. It would make sense for her to bring you home so that it backs up our story. Tell me where you are and I will call Victor a cab to pick him up. It’s best that you don’t come home together,” Mari said thoughtfully and then hung up after getting his location.

Yuuri wiped his tears on his sleeve before turning back to face Victor, hoping that his face wasn’t as inflamed as he thought it was going to be.

“Everything is okay,” Yuuri said, feeling light and giddy, “Mari covered for us and she’s calling you a cab to come back to the onsen. Minako’s on her way to pick me up.” He said in English.

Victor couldn’t deny the immense relief he felt as well, knowing that nothing bad would come from such an enjoyable day. If Toshiyo had found out, he would have forbid Victor from ever seeing Yuuri again and that was the last thing he wanted.

He wanted Yuuri so bad that is scared him how deep his desire went. One day was not enough.

Victor walked over and took both of Yuuri’s hands, bringing them up to his mouth and kissing each one on the knuckles.

“I’ve had so much fun with you today, Yuuri,” he said, though it that felt like an inadequate description. Today had been one of the best days he’d had in a long time and they hadn’t really done anything special. He couldn’t wait to spend more time with Yuuri. Perhaps he could take him out skating and they could dazzle each other on the ice.

Yuuri blushed and gave him a tentative smile, “So did I,” he replied softly.

Victor’s heart was beating loudly in his chest and he was so drunk on his desire that he pulled Yuuri inappropriately close, holding him tightly against his chest. Yuuri was stunned but made no move to push Victor away or cry out for help.

“I know that this is very improper but can I…” Victor trailed off, staring down at Yuuri’s lips. He leaned down slowly, giving Yuuri the chance to pull away if this was something he really didn’t want but Yuuri was frozen, standing on the precipice of everything he’d ever wanted and more. It didn’t matter that he’d only known Victor for only a day and they were going about this all wrong but he couldn’t stop the yearning from unfurling within him, tempting him with things that he’d never had before.

“Alright, you two. That’s quite enough,” Minako’s voice startled them and they jumped apart. Yuuri was almost delirious with the feeling of having Victor so close yet still so far away. The Alpha smelt way too appetizing to be genuine and it was clouding his judgement.

“I apologize. That was very inappropriate,” Victor sounded just as compromised, having to hold himself back as every nerve in his body was begging him to hold Yuuri down and claim him.

“I should take him home,” Minako said walking over and forcefully tugging Yuuri towards her car. She could see that Yuuri’s pupils were dilated and judging from the tent in his pants, extremely aroused. Minako had to hold her breath as the scent of a ripe omega filled her senses, causing her instincts to behave erratically. If Yuuri sent her into a rut, she was never going to let him forget it.

“Yes, that’s probably for the best.” Victor said grimacing at the delicious scent of coming from Yuuri.

“Alpha,” Yuuri pleaded miserably, still in semi-lucid state from the pheromones. Victor had to clamp down on his animalistic urge to run over and wrench the omega from the other Alpha’s grasp, feeling a territorial rage overwhelmed him. She shouldn’t be touching Yuuri, only he had that right.

Once Yuuri was shut in the car, Victor was able to clear his head a little easier, cut off from the deliciously seductive scent. He took deep breaths and walked a little further away from where he could still smell it lingering.

Minako was quiet as she drove away, frowning at Yuuri through the rearview mirror. The omega was writhing in the backseat, almost as if he was in pain while letting out the most heart-wrenching whimpers. The urge to comfort him was overwhelming but it wasn’t until she could smell the first trace of slick that she finally understood what was happening.

“Shit,” she said and pulled over to use the phone, dialing Mari’s number.

“We have a problem,” she said before the eldest Katsuki sibling could say anything, “I have to drive him to the clinic instead. Victor triggered Yuuri’s heat.”

&&

“Well it’s no wonder Yuuri wasn’t feeling well,” Hiroko said when Mari had to explain that Minako was taking Yuuri over to get him checked in at the clinic, “He must have been feeling those horrible cramps all day and since his heat wasn’t due for another month, it must caught him by complete surprise,”

“I’m sure it did,” Mari said innocently.

“It was probably from all the stress from the last couple of months just building up that caused it. Stress can do that to you,” Hiroko continued, smiling at her husband in relief. Toshiyo patted her hand in comfort.

“And it’s a good thing Minako was there. I don’t want to imagine what could have happened if he’d gone to the cemetery all by himself. He’s such a good boy and I’m sure seeing Akihiko’s grave must have given him some comfort,” she continued.

Mari bit back a retort at the thought of Yuuri feeling any sort of comfort from Akihiko, knowing that it was better in the long run for her parents to believe the lie that she had carefully weaved.

She was thankful saved from interrupting when she caught sight of Victor getting back. She would need to tell him what had happened just in case he went looking for Yuuri. The silver haired alpha looked disheveled and worn out from fighting his instincts in order to stop himself from reacting to the omega he desired when he was in heat. Mari was now even more certain that this was meant to be. Heats didn’t just trigger for any random Alpha, there had to be something there.

“Hey,” Mari said approaching him casually, “I’m glad your back. I have to tell you something.”

Victor looked up at Mari with mixture of curiosity and trepidation. Though she had saved them both from Toshiyo’s fury, he couldn’t imagine that she was very happy about their actions today either.

“Let’s go somewhere more private,” she said leading them into an unused banquet room they reserved for special events. She shut the door behind her and he turned to face her with determination.

“I know that I took some liberties with Yuuri that I shouldn’t have, keeping him out all day but we really did lose track of time and nothing untoward happened,” Victor said sincerely, leaving out the part where they had almost kissed, “I am grateful you were looking out for us,”

“As much as I like you Victor, I didn’t do it for you. Yuuri is my brother and I love him more than anything else in this world. I would do anything for him. So keep that in mind if you have any ill intentions towards him,” Mari said openly candid with him. She sounded cordial but after seeing the lengths that she would go to for Yuuri today, he was certain that her revenge would be much more subtle and underhanded then he was expecting.

“Never,” Victor replied, shaking his head vigorously, “I only want him to be happy.”

“You make him happy, so I will continue to fight for the both to be together even if I have to tell a few white lies in the process. That is what you want right, to be with him?” Mari asked seriously. She hadn’t intended to have the ‘what are your intentions towards my baby brother’ speech with him but now seemed like as good of time as any.

“Yes,” Victor replied with a soft smile, thinking of the time he spent with Yuuri today and realized it was the happiest he’d been in a long time. Not even standing on the podium, accepting a first place medal could compare to the high he felt when he was with Yuuri.

“Good. Though I have to warn you that you won’t be able to see him again for a few days. Your little outing triggered his heat and Minako had to take him to the clinic,” Mari warned him. Victor honestly wasn’t surprised. He’d seen state Yuuri had been in when he’d left and he himself had almost gone into a rut after they had left.

“I understand,” Victor said. It would be hard to be away from Yuuri for the next three days especially knowing what he was going through his heat but Victor understood that it wasn’t his place yet. Hopefully during his next heat, they could share it together.

“Good. I’ve gotta get back to work but rest up, you don’t look too good yourself,” Mari said gently and left him alone in the room. Victor stumbled back to his own room, unexpectedly exhausted from the day’s events and found Yuri lying in bed, reading something on his phone.

“Oh, it’s you. Where have you been all day? Not spending time with the black widow I hope?” Yuri said unpleasantly, still upset at Victor for forcing dominance over him earlier. Victor didn’t like to use it often, thinking it was a crude tactic when words could be just as effective but Yuri had taken a step too far when he’d insulted Yuuri while Victor was still so protective over him.

“What are you talking about Yuri? I am too tired to talk about this,” Victor protested but it was weak at best. He collapsed in his bed and laid face first in his pillow.

“I’m not surprised he didn’t tell you,” Yuri continued nastily, “If I had killed my husband and gotten away with it, I wouldn’t want to tell anyone either.”

“Huh?” Victor asked, lifting his head to look over at the younger Alpha, “Yuuri wouldn’t kill anyone.” He said confidently.

“Are you so sure? You haven’t known him that long. One of the other guests told me that everyone knows Yuuri Katsuki killed his first husband and he’s going to be lucky if anyone wants to become his second,” Yuri took great pleasure in telling him, “I bet he didn’t even tell you he’d been married before,”

That part made sense considering how old the omega was but just because he had been married before didn’t tarnish him in Victor’s eyes. But there was absolutely no way that his sweet Yuuri could have willingly took someone’s life. The stares they received in the market made much more sense now and he passed it off as an unsavory rumor that was obviously impacting Yuuri’s social status.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Victor said tiredly, not in the mood to deal with Yuri’s childish antics.

Yuri was tempted to try broach the subject about leaving again but knew that trying to talk to Victor when he was this tried was a useless gesture. He grunted and they both lapsed into silence, only for Victor’s phone to break it five minutes later. He fumbled for it in his pocket and answered it without checking the name on the caller ID, mumbling a groggy greeting.

“Vitya, I’m very disappointed in you,” Yakov’s gruff voice was loud in his ear and he was instantly awake again, sitting up quickly.

“Oh, Yakov. I’m glad you called. I wanted to tell—“

“When you’re coming home?” Yakov cut him off curtly, knowing there was only one way to get through to his unruly student, “Because that is the only thing I want to hear from you. You’ve been very discourteous to your coach for staying away for so long but I’ve come to expect your arrogant defiance. I’ve known you for long time Vitya. You are a selfish person who only thinks of himself but Yuri looks up to you. If you aren’t interested in your own training, think of his. He is at a crucial point in his career and needs a strong person like you to motivate him. Think of someone other than yourself for once,”

Victor was too stunned to say anything, shuddering as his eyes glazed over. He thought of Yuri  on the bed next to him, languishing in boredom when he should be home practicing for his senior debut. And then he thought of Yuuri, the omega he was infatuated with but had only known for one day. It seemed like fate for him to be in Japan but was he doing the right thing by remaining in Hasetsu while every other part of his life wasted away. He hadn’t even thought of a new theme for next season and that was very unlike him.

Victor took a deep breath and made his decision.

&&

Three days passed by painfully slow for Yuuri, his heat causing him to comprehend a new sort of a longing that he’d never experienced before. When he’d gone through heats with Akihiko, he’d experienced the raw lust and the never-ending need to be filled to the brim and bred until he couldn’t stand anymore but this time seemed different. It was hard to explain but he’d felt more desperate, unsatisfied with the toys the clinic had provided. They eventually had to bring in an Alpha to help soothe the raging hormones.

The clinic was a government funded medical facility for unmated omegas to help them through the throws of their heat with minimal disturbance to home life. Young omegas were treated delicately, leaving them in pristine condition when they were released for them to remain eligible for their future Alpha but for omegas like Yuuri, who’s Alpha had died or had disgraced themselves by taking a mate before marriage, they were open to more alternative methods.

Yuuri hadn’t been with anyone since his husband and this heat had been so hard on him that he had needed the presence of an Alpha to get him through it. It was a popular theory that once an omega knew what it was like to be with an Alpha, their bodies grew more insatiable and would never be satisfied with only using toys. Yuuri had thought it was just an Alpha’s crude way of reminding omegas that they were superior to them because they could control their biological urges. But after that heat, he wasn’t so sure it was complete nonsense. Unless it had something to do with Victor triggering it early?

Minako was waiting for him at the front desk as one of the nurse practitioners walked him out and signed the necessary paperwork that was required. Toshiyo had legally authorized her, Mari and Hiroko to be able to get Yuuri the care he need in an emergency situation as his primary caretaker.

“You look like hell, kid,” she said fondly, giving him a big hug.

“Thanks, I feel like it,” he said wincing. He body was sore, weak and he felt unsatisfied even though he’d just had multiple rounds of rigorous sex with an Alpha sanctioned by ORO, with birth control administered beforehand in case of any accidents.

“Where is everyone?” he asked curiously. He had been expecting one of his family to come pick him up instead of Minako, knowing that she kept herself incredibly busy with her bar and dance studio.

“They had an emergency at the onsen, something about a pipe bursting. Mari called and asked if I could come and get you,” she explained as they walked towards the car.

“Oh,” Yuuri replied, “I hope the repairs won’t cost too much,” He was restless, bursting excess energy. It was hard to explain how he could go from feeling so dangerously depressed a few days ago to overly enthusiastic at the thought of going home. It had nothing to do with Yuuri getting over the fact that he wouldn’t be allowed to skate anymore and everything to do with Victor. He’d had a lot of time to think about it this morning, during his post-heat checkup.

“I’m sure everything will be fine, worrywart. Let’s get you home,” she said and she drove him back to Yutopia, respecting his desire to not talk about what had happened between him and Victor three days ago.

Mari met him at the entrance when they arrived and she forced a smile in an attempt not to worry him. He greeted her with a sheepish look and tried not to appear too eager to ask about Victor’s whereabouts.

“Thank you for everything, Minako. You have been so much help to our family. Dad wants you to come around and have a round of drinks on us later,” Mari said sincerely, elbowing Yuuri to remember his manners.

“Thank you, Minako-san,” he said bowing in respect. She had done a lot for him that last few days and he was incredibly gratefully to have her supporting him.

“I will take you up on that offer,” Minako replied happily, “See you later, squirt. Come by the studio sometime, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you practice,” She directed at Yuuri and then left in her car, heading in the direction of her dance studio.

“Minako said a pipe burst while I was gone?” he asked as a way to distract himself from the fact that he couldn’t stop searching for any sign of a silver-haired Alpha.

“Leaked,” Mari corrected, “It was leaking in the changing rooms so we had to call someone to come and look at it but he was able to repair it without needing to replace anything,” she said keeping her words light and innocuous as to not arouse suspicion.

“That’s better than the alternative,” Yuuri said in relief. Something was clearly wrong though and if it wasn’t the pipes and it wasn’t the fact that his dad was upset at him for spending the day with Victor, what could it be?

“Let’s go up to your room,” Mari said carefully, “I’m sure you want to get some rest after all that.”

Yuuri nodded and acknowledged her logic despite every bone in his body was telling him to go and seek out Victor. He wanted to tell him everything. About Akihiko. About how he felt about him. He wanted to be completely honest with someone who wasn’t his sister for once in his life.

“After I rest a bit,” Yuuri started once they were in the privacy of his room, “Do you think you can tell me where Victor’s room is? I want to tell him something and I promise to be safe,” he said impatiently.

“Yuuri, sit down,” Mari said sounding unhappy, “I have to tell you something important.”

Yuuri reluctantly nodded, walking over to sit on the bed as he waited for Mari to say whatever she needed to say. Mari took a deep breath, figuring that the only way to do this was to be honest about it. Yuuri deserved that.

“Victor is gone,” she said sadly, “He went back to Russia two days ago,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought I was done being mean to Yuuri? Never! I think I'm at a good halfway point so things will start looking up from here. There's still some angst to go but it should be a little less painful than this cliffhanger I accidentally on purpose left you with. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments and I will be furiously working on the next chapter.


	5. Loss and Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After reading some of the comments (none of them bad, just thought provoking), I came to the realization that this story was a lot more intense than I had originally intended it to be and that I really wanted to do it justice. It's really important to me to take this subject matter seriously as if it were a real life situation because while some of its fictional, some of its not. 
> 
> Also, I'm approaching this subject from two different angles. This story is partly a reflection of my own personal experiences dealing with anxiety and depression, and from what I've learned in school. I'm a psych major who dabbles in philosophy so a lot of what I'm learning is spilling into my writing. I'm not saying this to scare you away from commenting, please please continue to do so. I enjoy reading all of them, especially the thought provoking ones.

“I don’t understand,” Yuuri stared at her with wide unseeing eyes, thoughts scattering as he tried to make sense of the inconceivable words he’d just heard, “He left? Why?”

“I don’t know, Yuuri.”  Mari replied gently, “I didn’t see him leave. He settled his bill with Dad and left before I got up that morning.”

“He just left without saying a-anything?” Yuuri asked, his voice breaking. He knew he sounded desperate but a part of him had really thought that Victor was different. He was used to Alpha’s treating at him like a prize to be won, an object to be bartered for. Now, after the events of his first marriage, he was used to everyone treating him like a leper, a soiled excuse for an omega in more ways than one way. But Victor hadn’t done either. He had been the first Alpha that had given the impression that he cared for Yuuri, as a person and not just an omega.

 He didn’t think he had imagined that day in the market, the tender way Victor had looked at him and then after at Hasetsu Castle, when they’d almost kissed. Maybe the intense sexual desire had just been the pheromones he’d released during the sudden onset of his heat but it still didn’t explain the hours they’d spent conversing with each together, flirting with the possibility of more. That day had felt more like a courtship then a random meeting and if Victor had been leading him on, making him think that there was a potential relationship between them, why had he gone to all the trouble to make it seem so genuine? It was a lot of effort if he was just planning on leaving the next day.

“He left a note,” Mari pulled a blank envelope out of the pocket of her work uniform, “Dad said that Victor asked him to give it to me but it’s addressed to you,” She handed it to him and he opened it slowly, almost afraid of its contents.

“Maybe he’s planning on coming back?” Mari said optimistically, “Maybe he just had to settle some urgent affairs in Russia and the letter will explain everything,”

Yuuri didn’t dare to hope, not with the way his life was progressing. Hope was a fragile thing, an easy foundation to build but was just as easily destroyed. His hands trembled as he slowly opened the envelope and pulled out the letter inside, unfolding it with dread gnawing at his gut.

Mari watched him warily, waiting for his reaction. Though she hoped for a positive outcome, she kept her eyes on him like he might break down at any second and he could admit that her reaction wasn’t completely farfetched. Looking back at the last week, Yuuri supposed if he had a breaking point, he must be close to it by now.

_Moy lyubimyy Yuuri,_

_I am sorry that I wasn’t able to stay long enough to say goodbye but there was no time with your sudden heat. Japan has been a lovely distraction but I have made commitments in my life that I cannot abandon. I hope you can understand. Nothing I said to you or your sister was a lie but I am needed in Russia for the time being. I have no immediate plans to return and I wish you all the luck in the world finding someone that will make you as happy as you made me._

_Yours,_

_Victor Nikiforov_

Reading Victor’s final words was like having the rug wrenched out from under him, sending him tumbling into an endless chasm of self-doubt and loathing. His legs felt unsteady and he was incredibly dizzy, which was ironic because he was still sitting down but his stomach didn’t seem to care as it churned unpleasantly.

“I was nothing but a distraction,” Yuuri said evenly. His hands were shaking so badly that he began to accidently crumple the letter so he let it drop to the ground, “A pleasant distraction but nothing more,”

 “No, that can’t be,” Mari said in outrage, rushing over and sitting down next to him, “I talked to him that night. He said he wanted to be with you,”

“And then he changed his mind. Something more important must come up,” Yuuri said, utterly calm. It was strange. He knew he should be feeling something. Sorrow maybe. Regret. But there was nothing except a physical ache in the side of his chest where his heart resided.

He was faintly aware that Mari was holding him. She embraced him from behind, hugging him back against her chest and pulled him down so that she was effectively spooning him. Being this close to his sister, touching her in such an intimate manner, should have felt inappropriate but having her arms around made him feel safe and sheltered. One of her arms snaked around his side, the palm of her hand pressing against his diaphragm and the other came up to stroke his hair lovingly, bodies curled up against one another. He was still shaking uncontrollably, he slowly realized.

“Oh, Yuuri,” Mari said, drowning in her own guilt. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t of pushed them together, Yuuri wouldn’t have had any expectations. Victor had appeared in their lives like wildfire, sweeping Yuuri off his feet and giving him the taste of a budding love, only to burn his way through and leave destruction in his wake; here one minute and gone the next.

Yuuri had only known him for a day but that day had seemed like a lifetime stolen in moments of unforeseen bliss. With gentler hands than his appearance suggested and smiles so bright that Yuuri had let himself believe there was something more to them, Victor had complete ruined him for anything other than unreachable perfection.

“I should be feeling something,” Yuuri whispered, “If it meant something, I should be feeling something, right?”

Mari hugged him tighter, “Not knowing how you feel isn’t the same as not feeling anything at all,”

They continued to lay there for an indeterminate amount of time and eventually the tears came, quietly and unobtrusively, small with hitching breaths the only indication of their occurrence. Mari softly soothed him, feeling tears prickling in her own eyes.

He never felt so unlovable before.

Almost as if she could hear the direction his thoughts were turning, Mari stiffened and kissed the back of his head.

“I can’t lose you, Yuuri,” She said quietly, “With as much as you’ve had to go through and how much you’ve lost, I know it seems like an easy choice but you can’t leave me. I would never recover from it,” her voice wobbled precariously, threatening to expose her tears.

Yuuri held his breath, too scared to put into words what Mari was saying to him. Despite everything he’d been through, he’d never thought about ending his life before. And it was scary how tempting it seemed now that he was thinking about it.

Death was so final. It was an absolute end to all his suffering. But it also took so much more than that. It snuffed out all his potential, everything he ever was and would be. Was there really nothing for him here except a bleak future filled with only pain and disappointment?

He thought about Minako, who would drop everything to come and help him out whenever she was asked. He thought about Yuuko’s bright smile and optimism that had gotten him through tough times, always encouraging him to stay positive. He thought about his parents, who despite wanting the best for him had succumbed to the antiquated notion that omegas were meant to belong to an Alpha for their own happiness and wellbeing. He thought about Victor, wondering how he’d react to news about his death and if it would have made at least a small difference in his life.

And lastly, he thought about Mari. He thought about how she’d sat with him when he couldn’t find the will to move, when she brought him food and forced him to eat, when she cheered him up after falling on the ice when he was younger, when she encouraged him to stand up to his childhood bullies and then patched up his bruises when they’d pushed him back down, when she held him the night before his marriage and how she supported him no matter what he wanted to do, covering for him without needing an explanation why.

Mari would be devastated. Taking his own life would end his own suffering but his death would only cause more sorrow for those he left behind. His life wasn’t his own to take. Mari had given up so much of her own life trying to be supportive and that encouraged him to try and find some way to move on. Losing ice skating and Victor in one foul swoop was going to be difficult but he was determined to take it one step at time until someday, maybe it would stop hurting so much.

“I just…” Mari continued when he didn’t say anything, sounding so utterly lost, “I just don’t know what to say to fix this. You put up these walls to block me out and I don’t know how to reach you,”

Yuuri flipped over to face her, being careful not to dislodge her grip. Her short two-toned brown and blonde hair was tousled and the bangs that were usually held back by a purple headband were hanging in her face, almost long enough to cover her brown eyes. He leaned into her, so close that he could smell residual smoke on her breath and held onto the hand that had been previously caressing his hair.

“She didn’t need to be saved,” Yuuri quoted quietly, “She needed to be found and appreciated for who she was. I’m not going anywhere.”

Mari smiled, tears still falling as she kissed his forehead, “Anyone would be so lucky,”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms and their parents found them hours later. Toshiyo looked sadly at his children, holding onto the letter he’d received from the clinic warning him about Yuuri’s dangerously low body mass index after his checkup. While he knew this drastic loss of weight couldn’t have happened over the course of the week, he felt remiss that he hadn’t noticed Yuuri’s rapid decline.

Both Toshiyo and Hiroko exchanged worried glances before turning to look at back their children, each wondering if they had done the right thing.

&&

It was late by the time Mari woke up from her unexpected nap and she was surprised to wake up alone in Yuuri’s bed. Looking around, she discovered that the room was void of anyone except herself which caused her to panic. She jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room, frantically searching for him. Despite his reassurance that he wasn’t going to do anything drastic, she still couldn’t shake the fear of losing him after the events of last night.

He wasn’t in the bathroom or her bedroom. Nor was in his parent’s bedroom, unlikely as it was though she didn’t want to take the chance of leaving any stone unturned. She finally found him in the family dining room. He was seated on the tatami matting, with his legs folded underneath the low dining table, holding a bowl of sticky rice in his hands. He was slowly using the chopsticks to bring a few white pellets from the bowl to his mouth. Though there was a bowl of beef Udon in front of him, it hardly looked like he’d touched it while his parent’s bowls were at least half eaten.

Toshiyo and Hiroko were seated on the other side of the table in the middle of a conversation about the repairs taking place at the onsen but everyone froze when she burst into the room and turned to look at her in alarmed confusion at her abrupt entrance.

“Mari,” Hiroko was the first to respond, smiling happily, “We didn’t know if you were going to wake up in time for dinner. You’ve been working so hard lately since we’ve been shorthanded so we didn’t want to disturb your rest,”

She didn’t respond, turning to look at Yuuri who frowned at her. She was admittedly more surprised to see him in the same room as her parents, considering they hadn’t eaten with them for a week now.

“Come,” Yuuri said instead of giving her an explanation, “Eat with us,” He stood up and prepared her a bowl of Udon and she sat at the table, feeling out of the loop and disoriented.

“We thought it was time that Yuuri came back down to eat dinner with us since he is feeling better now that his heat is over with,” Toshiyo said to her, which explained everything. She scowled but didn’t say anything, adding it to the ever-growing list of things imposed on him that wasn’t Yuuri’s choice.

 “We’ll need to monitor what you eat from now on, son,” he continued looking at Yuuri and then frowning when he saw the full bowl of Udon in front of him, “I got a letter from the clinic and they were concerned about your weight,”

“Yuuri has never been hungry the day after his heat,” she said in his defense, despite her own worry about the matter. Ever since puberty, Yuuri had never had an appetite after his heats, post-menstrual cramps unsettling his stomach but she wished this time would be different considering how sickly he appeared.

“Yes but he should still eat something,” Hiroko said in a placating manner, trying to make peace between them.

“I’m eating rice,” Yuuri said, feeling uncomfortable with all the attention on him.

“Rice is fine for tonight but I would like to see you eat more from now on,” Toshiyo said adamantly.

Yuuri nodded silently. He didn’t appear upset at first glance but Mari knew him well enough to see the dark cloud of misery hanging over him as he continued to pick at the sticky rice with his chopsticks.

He didn’t say anything else for the entire dinner and Mari was too angry at her parents to try and bring him into a conversation in case he misinterpreted her anger to be directed towards him. Toshiyo and Hiroko continued talking about work at the onsen, leaving both their children to sit in silence. This continued for another hour, until it was time to clean up. She helped Yuuri clear the table and wash the dishes before they both walked towards their rooms. He didn’t say anything about wanting to be left alone but she was not going to let him wallow by himself.

&&

“I think I’m going to start a garden,” Yuuri said to her two days later. He’d returned to work the day after his heat and had been acting worryingly normal. He woke up early and payed his respects to Akihiko, lighting incense and praying at his alter. Their parents approved wholeheartedly since he’d been remiss as of late and then Yuuri went to work without complaint. He performed his duties flawlessly but with little passion, moving in a despondent manner and sticking strictly to routine. He’d also started wearing his glasses again, something he’d been encouraged to stop doing when he was a teenager in order to seem more appealing to an Alpha. And then once he’d married, Akihiko had never liked his frames, preferring him to wear contacts instead but Yuuri had been diligent in keeping the lens’s up to date and attending regular eye exams just in case of emergencies.

She had stepped out to help him unload a new shipment of beer and this was the first thing he’d said directly to her without needing prompting.

“A garden?” Mari asked suspiciously, “Since when have you been interested in plants?”

“Akihiko enjoyed it,” Yuuri shrugged, “He talked about it constantly and gave me some useful advice,”

“But do you even like it?” Mari pushed, not liking her brother’s new indifferent attitude. He was drifting, trying to find a new purpose in his life but every day that he spent not finding it was spent slowly wasting away. His appetite had still not returned despite his parent’s insistence on eating dinner with them and it was honestly scaring her to see how thin Yuuri was getting. The pants he was wearing hung low on his hips and the uniform shirt was sagging off his bony shoulders.

It was getting bad enough that last night she’d overheard her parents discussing taking him to the hospital to have a feeding tube inserted to replenish the nutrients that he wasn’t obtaining. Hiroko had cried when Toshiyo had brought up how much money it would cost them and the possibility of the doctors reporting them to ORO for suspected neglect.

Mari felt ashamed when she realized how much blame she had heaped upon her parents over the last few years when in truth it had never occurred to her that their intentions had nothing to do with finding Yuuri a husband to pawn him off on because they believed he could only be happy by marrying, but instead was about being terrified of losing him to a civilization that subjugated him. Social services would take him away if they thought Yuuri was a danger to himself and put him in a long term care facility, where all his choices would be dictated by strangers and what little rights he did have would be stripped away from him. Kind of like what it would have been like if he had gone to prison.

“I have to do something now that I’m not skating anymore,” Yuuri replied apathetically. He grabbed a crate full of beer and walked away before she could reply, leaving her standing speechless on the loading dock.

His unexpected interest in agriculture was disturbing to say the least and she kept a close eye on him throughout the day, noting how he would often get dizzy and take short breaks when he thought no one was watching. He was remarkably pale for the amount of sun they were getting these last couple days and shivered underneath layers of clothes like it was the middle of winter instead of early spring. He carried the stench of a distraught omega around with him wherever he went, causing some of the Alpha patrons to get upset and threaten to leave if they couldn’t do something about it. As betas, their parents had done their best to keep him away from the customers, not having the ability to detect what was palpable to an Alpha.

Something had to change or she would lose her brother, one way or another.

That night she found him standing in front of his bedroom window, staring vacantly at something in the distance. Her heart ached when she realized that particular window faced the same direction Ice Castle was located in and though you couldn’t see the building from this far away, it wasn’t hard to imagine that he could pretend.

It was with gut-wrenching clarity that Mari decided enough was enough. She couldn’t stand seeing the desolation that had taken over their lives. She hated Yuuri’s calm acceptance of his fate and her parent’s well-meaning ignorance, which contributed to his outright refusal to eat. It was all too much, something had to give.

“I want to make a deal with you, Yuuri,” she blurted out impulsively, causing him to look over at her with vague curiosity.

“A deal?” he asked in confusion and she nodded.

“I want you to start eating and I want you to be happy again,” she said emphatically. Yuuri blinked at her in absolute shock while the misery still coiled in his chest. If only it were as easy as wanting something. He’d be a professional figure skater if he’d gotten what he’d wanted.

“News flash, Mari. We don’t all get what we want,” he replied bitterly, upset at her for making such an unreasonable request so soon after promising to continue living. Fighting depression wasn’t like flipping a light switch, it took time and effort.

“No, you don’t. You’ve never gotten what you’ve wanted all your life. You’ve been given things people have assumed you’d want without your consent and then had it all taken away from you when you’d just starting accepting what little happiness you could find,” Mari passionately agreed with him, making Yuuri desperately wish that the world would split open and swallow him up. How could she say these things to him? What use was there in reminding him what a horrible lot in life he’d been dealt except to bring him down?

“The latch on that window is broken and it just so happen to open very quietly. I also know from experience that the shed underneath the window  makes it very easy to climb up and down from. When we were teenagers, this used to be my room and I used to sneak out all the time. Mom and dad never caught me.” She continued and Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder if the stress had caused to her to snap. He was afraid he had whiplash from the turns this conversation was taking. One minute she was talking about how unfair his life was and the next she was telling him how to sneak out of his bedroom.

Wait.

“What are you saying?” Yuuri asked, heart pounding in his chest.

“You’re being slow tonight, Yuuri,” she glanced at the clock, knowing that he had just enough time to make it before the rink closed for the night, “Ice Castle should be closing soon but I know they always let you stay after. You won’t get in a lot of time to practice tonight but you should take it easy anyway since you’ve been sedentary this whole week. We’ll come up with a better schedule when we have more time and I’ll cover for you with mom and dad,”

Yuuri was crying again but this time it wasn’t because of sorrow. It had been a long time since he’d been so deliriously happy and it was such an unknown feeling that he didn’t know how he was supposed to act.  

“So we have a deal,” Mari said smiling at him, “You’ll start eating enough to get back to a healthy weight and I will make sure you can skate again without mom or dad knowing,”

Yuuri nodded rapidly, promising to eat anything that Mari told him to for the chance to skate again. He rushed forward and embraced her, choking back quiet sobs.

She hugged him back tightly, “I can’t watch you wither way into nothing anymore,” she whispered, affectionately.

Satisfied with this arrangement, she helped him open the window and taught him the best way to climb down without hurting himself. Once he was safely on the ground, he waved back up at her and then took off running as fast as he could towards Ice Castle, feeling like electricity was coursing through his veins. The wind ripped through his hair and he was out of breath by the time he arrived, not unusual for how little he’d eaten lately. He knew he was going to have to take it easy tonight, maybe just some warm up stretches and a few laps around the rink. It would be hard to not just jump back into full practice headfirst but if he wanted to skate without injury—a surefire way for his father to find out he was skating behind his back— then he would have to pace himself.

Yuuko was just about to lock the doors when he appeared in front of them, smiling sheepishly at her through the glass. She stared at him in disbelief for a few moments but immediately let him in, not having seen him since the accident. Toshiyo had called afterwards and told her that Yuuri was going to be alright but also that he would not be coming over anymore. She had gotten the news from Mari later that Yuuri had been forbidden to skate and had mourned alongside him, knowing how much it meant to him.

“Yuuri!” she swept him into a big hug and Yuuri enthusiastically hugged her back, still riding an endorphin high, “I wanted to come see you but Mari said you were not feeling well enough for visitors,” she said apologetically. He forgave her immediately, knowing he wouldn’t have been in the best shape to have seen her even ten minutes ago.  

“Can you stay open a little late? Please,” Yuuri begged, watching with a sinking feeling as she looked at him with such a torn expression. Letting him skate would be in direct defiance of his caretaker and while she knew Toshiyo was too kindhearted to come after her for assisting him, she did have her own livelihood to think of. It was hard to say no to him though, because of how deeply she cared for her friend.

“I don’t know, Yuuri. I—

“Let him in, Yuuko,” Takeshi interrupted, walking up behind her and wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders, “Mari called and explained everything. We’re going to be seeing a lot more of Yuuri in the future,” he said giving him a thumbs up to show his support. Takeshi had always been a difficult person to predict and during his youth had been one of his biggest tormentors yet somehow, was now one of his biggest supporters.

“Thank you both,” Yuuri said feeling so overwhelmed that he thought he was going to faint, though he supposed that could also be because of low blood sugar.

“Well if that’s the case, then I have something for you,” Yuuko said excitedly and ran over to the rental desk, jumping up on it to reach over and grab something behind the counter. She struggled for a moment, butt wiggling in the air before letting out a shriek of happiness at her successful retrieval of the item she was looking for.

Yuuri teared up at the sight of her holding his black figure skates, looking a little worn from the years he’d put on them but still well-maintained with love and devotion. He had wondered where they had gone, fearing the worst but hadn’t yet worked up the courage to ask.

“I even sharpened them for you,” Yuuko said proudly, “Your dad told me to give them to charity but Mari asked me to hold onto them for you, just in case,” she winked at him.

Yuuri wiped his tears away as he took them from her, holding them to his chest reverently. He walked past the Nishigori’s and over to the doors leading to the rink. The ice was pristine, already resurfaced for the night and Yuuri felt a little bit guilty for ruining it but the majority of him was too eager to get back on the ice. He tied his skates slowly, hands shaking in excitement and removed his blue skate guards when he got close enough to the rink wall.

Taking that first step onto the ice felt like flying and he scarcely remembered being more at home than he did right now. Skating was his own personal independence, making him feel like he could do anything while giving him the strength to go on when he felt like giving up. And now he knew just want he wanted to do with his newfound freedom.

&&

It took a few weeks for him to get his strength back in order for him to sustain the level of practice he wanted to perform at. The first few days had been hard, filled with harsh dizzy spells and bouts of sickness when he’d tried to rush his recovery by eating a large amount of food in such a short amount of time. His poor abused stomach couldn’t take it after he’d essentially starved himself for so long.

Mari hadn’t been happy with him after that but had shaken her head at him ruefully and helped him come up with an eating schedule to gradually increase his food intake until he was eating enough to sustain additional exercise. Even now he was still a little on the scrawny side but he was finally glad to be back at a healthy weight. His parents were overjoyed at his swift turnaround, even if they didn’t know the true cause of his improvement. He still kept up appearances around them, praying at Akihiko’s alter and even starting a small garden in the yard to give the illusion he was finding other ways to occupy his time. But at night and in the early morning when Ice Castle was closed, he’d sneak out and find himself back on the ice. He also got to practice during his days off sometimes. Mari ran interference for him, giving him reasonable excuses why he’d be out for hours at a time.

Once he’d overcome that hurdle, he poured all his attention and focus into a new project he was working on, devoting the time he’d spent recuperating to do some research. It had taken him months to finish, paying extremely close attention to detail and wanting to perfect the slightest mistake before he considered it finished enough to perform it in front of anyone. He intended for it to be a surprise, a thank you for everything they’d ever done for him.

One morning, amongst the flowering cherry blossoms in their backyard, he brought Mari out under the guise of showing her his tea and shiitake plants that were just starting to sprout from the soil and asked her to come watch him skate at Ice Castle after closing that night. He was finally ready to show them what he’d been so secretive about. Mari grinned conspiratorially when he asked if she could invite Minako as well and then ruffled his hair playfully in confirmation.

When they both arrived that afternoon, he ushered Yuuko out from behind the counter and then handed Mari his glasses to hold for him. She accepted them wordlessly, casually glancing down at his professional blue Mizuno thermal jacket and black exercise pants suspiciously, which turned into a knowing look when he asked one of them to press play on the stereo.

Yuuri was putting on a performance for them, something he rarely had the chance to do since Fumiko had been more interested into teaching him the technical aspects rather than choreographing programs for someone who was never going to compete with them. Sometimes he acted as an experimental visual demonstration of a program that she was putting together for one of her professional skaters but never had she designed one just for him.  He took a deep breath as he posed for the opening stance, holding his arms down by his side with his head bowed and his legs crossed at his ankles.

“Wait… that opening,” Yuuko whispered just as Minako pushed the button to start the music. The dulcet tones of Aria’s Stammi Vincino filled the rink. Yuuri raised his hand to his head with a sultry expression on his face and then curled into a spin, pushing off on his right skate as he began what was going to be an almost compete replica of Victor’s program that he’d competed with last season. It was a performance that had instantly captured Yuuri’s complete attention and carved its way into his heart while watching it on TV. Victor’s body had moved to the slow sensual music like he was declaring his love to the world and Yuuri did his best to emulate what he’d witnessed.

His body felt light, as if he was floating as he moved from a spin into a triple axel, nailing the first jump flawlessly. He’d only been forced to change one of jump sequences, excluding the quadruple flip from the program after only barely being able to successfully land a shaky quad salchow in practice. He felt like he had more than made up for it by focusing on the presentation aspect, making sure his body moved seamlessly with the music.

He smiled to himself as he lost himself in the performance, relying on muscle memory to keep him going. It was the culmination of his life up to this point and he was proud of himself for the practice he’d put into the piece, hoping that a little of his own flare stood out from his interpretation. It was fitting farewell to Victor and the start of his new life.

He concluded his performance with a combination spin, dropping down into a sit spin, back up into a rotation life and finally into an upright spiral that complemented the crescendo of the orchestral and vocal climax of the song. He ended with his arms raised and crossed in the air, head tilted back towards the ceiling.

No one said anything as the music cut out and his chest heaved in gratified exhaustion, sweat dripping from his brow. He took another deep breath to steel his nerves as he turned to face his audience, awaiting their judgement. Mari was smiling at him proudly while Minako tried to stealthily wipe a tear from her eyes. Yuuko was by far the most excited, jumping up and down and slamming her hands on the rink wall.

“THAT WAS AMAZING!” she shouted and then lowered her voice to a respectable volume as he skated closer to them, “That was a perfect copy of Victor’s performance!”

“Wait… you didn’t come up with that yourself,” Minako said looking at him sideways and Yuuri chuckled nervously. Mari handed him his glasses and he put them on to help see them better. Being farsighted, he had much better vision when viewing things from far away then when they were up close.

“No,” he admitted bashfully, “When Yuuko and I were little, we used to copy Victor’s performances to help us learn how to skate like professionals. It always made me feel so accomplished when I could accurately replicate what my idol could so I thought I would do it one last time as a way to say goodbye. I wanted you guys to see it, to know that I’m never going give up. Victor may be gone and my future is uncertain but I know that I will always have you guys supporting me,”

“Aw, kid,” Minako said while Mari and Yuuko were both struck speechless, “Of course we’ll always be there. I don’t know why you starting doubting us but you know my door is always open to you,”

“I know,” Yuuri said smiling timidly, “I’ll try to never forget it again,”

In the end, like with Akihiko, Yuuri could not find it within himself to hate Victor for what he did. Though it didn’t take away the pain, he could admit to himself that silver-foxed Alpha had never made any promises and even left behind something important when he’d gone back to Russia. He reminded Yuuri that painful experiences had so much to teach us.

The presence of pain and sorrow implies that there is something wrong but only through understanding what pain is, can we truly understand love and happiness. Because the only true way of describing something was by differentiating it from its opposite. It is through pain that you discover how strong you really are and Yuuri was thankful for at least that.

“But what did you mean when you said Victor was gone?” Yuuko asked and Yuuri gulped, realizing he’d forgotten to tell Yuuko about Victor coming to Hasetsu and the day they spent together. Admittedly he did have other things on his mind at the time but it still was a slight towards their friendship that she wasn’t likely to forget. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion and then in realization. With a gasp, she pointed at him accusingly.

“Yuuri!” she cried crossly, “Did you meet Victor and forgot to tell me about it? You’re sooo mean!”

Both Mari and Minako sniggered at him while he tried to sputter his excuses but they were all interrupted by three little menaces coming over and staring at him intently.

“That was so cool, Yuuri!” One of three identical faces said and Yuuri recognized her as one of Yuuko’s triplets, Axel, Lutz and Loop, who were extreme skating otakus even at such a young age. They had just turned seven a few days ago and already had a dedicated following using their mother’s Instagram page, though none of them seemed interested in skating themselves. Takeshi stood behind them, having come in looking for Yuuko just as Yuuri had started his performance.

“We got here just in time,” Another one of them—Lutz maybe—said. They were hard to tell apart. He noticed that the third one had a video camera and he paled in realization that his performance might have been recorded, “Can you imagine if we missed it?! I got it all on tape!” she continued, confirming his suspicions.

“You have to send me a copy of the video, Yuuko!” Mari and Minako said at the same time and Yuuri blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

As he watched his family standing there, bickering and laughing, he admitted that he was far luckier than he’d ever realized. Gaining the ability to skate again was the first step to taking back his happiness but it was only the first step in a long road to complete recovery. He would have his ups and downs like he normally did but his overall future seemed far less bleak than it did a few weeks ago.

He smiled and closed his eyes, looking up at the back of his eyelids.

_Goodbye Victor… I hope whatever it was that you had to do was worth it because I’m going to be just fine without you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This totally seems like I could end this story here. Would I do that to you? Hmmmmm….. It’s tempting… 
> 
> *snickers* Of course not. There is much more to come. The next chapter will have Victor’s thoughts and he will be coming back because he has a lot to make up for. There is going to be groveling, Mari will make sure of it. Also, I rewrote this chapter a couple times, which is why it took so long to finish. I kept feeling like it wasn’t good enough but I finally wrote a chapter that I was satisfied with. I hope you guys enjoyed it too. 
> 
> It has a few different inspirations. The final draft came to me while I was listening to the Moana soundtrack. I went and saw the movie during winter break and I sobbed big blubbering, crocodile tears. I’m sure it seemed like a ridiculous overreaction to anyone who was in the same theatre with me but I’d just attended the funeral of my friend’s grandmother who I really cared about (hit me where it hurts why dontcha’ Disney!) and the story was extremely personal and powerful to me in many ways. I don’t usually endorse movies in my stories but I think this movie is extremely underappreciated (damn Frozen!) and I urge anyone who hasn’t seen it to go. The song in particular that sparked my muse was "I am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)". If you want a frame of reference, go listen to that one and to a lesser extent, "How Far I'll Go". I also drew inspiration from the last episode of Sherlock season 4. There’s a particular part where suicide is referenced and I really liked how they approached it. The direct quote I used in this chapter is actually from a poet named J. Iron Word and there was a scene from Criminal Minds that I borrowed inspiration from.
> 
> School has started up again so my updating schedule will become a little more sporadic than it has been lately. I’m still devoting my free time to writing so don't feel completely abandoned.


	6. Coming to His Senses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that this is not a trick. This is indeed another chapter and I'm sorry it took so long to post. I am a horrible perfectionist, which is not always a good thing to be honest. I often rewrite entire sections of my story chapters multiple times before I feel like they are ready to leave the nest and the editing process usually takes the longest. I like to do it myself and this is often why entire rewrites happen. Plus these last couple months have been somewhat hectic for me. I was finishing up a semester of college when I started writing this and then started a new one over the summer even though I promised myself I was going to take a break. But I am so damn close to graduating that I decided to just power through it. And then I had to get my wisdom teeth out, which I'm still recovering from. So thank you to the continual positive and encouraging comments that still trickle in. I promise I read them all even if I don't respond to them and they are very helpful to get my muse motivated.

Victor let out an irritated grunt as he stepped out of the quadruple toe loop he was attempting, panting in exhaustion. He let out a cry of pure frustration and leaned over, hands resting on his knees as he tried to get his breathing back under control. Sweat dripped from his brow in small rivulets, giving a declaration of proof to his stubborn endurance. He’d been skating for three hours without pause now and it was infuriating that he still wasn’t any closer to perfecting his routine than he was when he started.

To his ever-growing dismay, he was falling on jumps that he should have been able to complete in his sleep, missing his footing on basic routines and was unable to focus on the finer movements needed for his performance. For a seasoned athlete like himself, it was mildly disconcerting to be making such novice mistakes but for a skater with his reputation, it was especially embarrassing. Overall, he was too stiff for the theme he had chosen for this upcoming season.

Love.

_“What a joke,”_ Victor thought with intense self-loathing. He had no idea what love was, at least not the kind of love he was trying to express. It was a given that as an Alpha, unmated or not, he’d had sex before. Unlike omega’s, Alpha’s and beta’s were not expected to remain chaste till marriage and it was even encouraged for an Alpha to exhaust their seemingly endless amounts of aggressive hormones during rebellious youth rather than on an omega he or she was going to marry.

Although he’d experienced the pleasure of sexual release, nothing he’d ever done with the few and far between lovers he’d taken over the years came close to the type of passionate love he was envisioning. Such love would sweep you off your feet and leave you breathless with its torment, making every moment not spent with that person similar to an agony that was written about in Shakespearean tragedies. That was Eros to him.

Normally he would have taken this as a challenge. There was never a shortage of willing participants when it came to finding someone to share his bed with but the thought of going out to find one, or even calling in a one of his ‘friends with benefits’ that came with no expectations of a relationship, made him feel agitated and guilty, though there was no logical reason behind these feelings. The moment he’d pulled out his phone to find inspiration, he’d experienced an intense feeling of loathing that left him reeling from its intensity.

He knew it had something to do with Yuuri Katsuki, though he stubbornly denied that there was any chance he’d fallen in love in the short amount of time they spent together and was determined to put that all behind him. Yuri was right, he was being ridiculous. It was better that he had come back to Russia and put his focus back on his career despite what his traitorous heart was telling him. It might not be much in terms of happiness anymore but it was everything he’d ever known and he didn’t want to throw it all away for such an uncertain future. How would it even work? They were from two separate worlds. Unless he wanted to retire and move to Japan, completely upending his life, he’d have to bring Yuuri back to Russia so that he could continue to train. But would Yuuri be happy here, in a foreign country, far away from everything he’d ever known?

A lot of Alpha’s married omegas they barely knew for the sake of propriety or greed but Victor had never been satisfied with the idea of marrying a complete stranger that he had essentially picked out of a catalog. What if they couldn’t get along and he spent the rest of his life resenting someone who he was supposed to love? One day of genuine affection didn’t guarantee lifelong happiness and he was too proud to admit that he was scared to take the chance of his romantic notions becoming something much more powerful, something so incredibly soul-binding that he couldn’t walk away from it even if chose to. During the short time they spent together, it didn’t take him long to realize that loving Yuuri would be an all-consuming and addicting force that would take all of his attention and devotion.

Maybe he was just coming down with the flu? That had to explain it.

“You are distracted, Vitya,” Yakov called out to him, “Come, take a break,” the older man waved him over to the edge of the rink where he was standing. Yuri was loitering nearby, watching him with razor sharp eyes that were akin to needles penetrating him from the sidelines. He wasn’t even attempting to be subtle at it, frowning at Victor with such intense distaste.

It had been three months since they’d returned from Hasetsu and Victor assumed that Yuri still hadn’t forgiven him for his impromptu tour of Japan. In the time Victor had been back, he designed his short program to On Love: Eros but was now regretting his choice, slowly driving himself insane with his mistakes. He supposed it wasn’t too late to change his theme but that felt like too big of decision to make on his own without involving his coach. And then he’d had to admit why he wanted to change his theme and Yakov wouldn’t accept anything less than the truth, bringing to light the war going on inside of him.

He’d also—after Yuri had berated him about a promise he carelessly made and then promptly forgotten about—designed Yuri’s short program to On Love: Agape, the second part to the love song that complimented his own as an apology for keeping him away from practice for so long.

Yakov clapped him on the shoulder as he exited the rink and put on his skate guards, handing him his water bottle and telling him to get some rest. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, vague and confusing dreams that he could never remember the morning after keeping him up at night and he supposed it showed in his lack of creative enthusiasm for his program. Although he was genuinely exhausted, he was also restless and wasn’t ready to quit before he made some genuine progress.

“Don’t burn yourself out. Pushing yourself past your limits is dangerous and can cause serious injuries. At your age, even a minor injury can be the death of your career. We have months to perfect your program so take it easy,” Yakov waved away Victor’s stubborn protests and glowered at his student, half suspecting that the impetuous Alpha wasn’t going to listen to him anyway.

Victor surprised them both by giving in with little fight and with a huff, sat down on the bench nearby. Lifting his water bottle to his mouth, Victor tipped it back and drank the cool refreshing liquid in large gulps.

“I don’t think I’ve ever since Victor so unfocused. He can’t even land a quad toe loop correctly. Maybe he’s getting too old to keep up with the rest of us,” He overheard Mila nearby, talking with one of the other female skaters as he took off his skates and slipped on a comfortable pair of loafers. He looked up to see them both turned away from him, oblivious to his presence.

“I suppose there comes a time when you begin to show your age in this sport and wouldn’t it be embarrassing for him to come home without medaling. It might be best if he leaves now while he’s on top,” the other skater replied with a slight giggle.

“What would you know, hags?! I don’t see consecutive gold medals hanging around your neck,” Yuri is the one who unexpectedly comes to his defense, yelling loud enough for the whole rink to hear. Victor is surprised and flattered at Yuri’s unexpected protective streak, even though deep down he’s secretly wondering if the girls are right. Maybe it was getting time for him to retire.

Mila turned and finally saw Victor sitting nearby, turning red in shame at getting caught gossiping about him behind his back. She opened her mouth, ready to apologize but Victor stood up and walked away before she could say anything, feeling a little petty. He yawned, running a hand through his sliver hair as he walked towards the locker room and it only takes him a moment to realize that Yuri had followed him, skates clinking behind him as he walks.

“Your moping is getting pathetic,” Yuri tells him as Victor opens his locker and puts his skates away, grabbing his gym bag. Ah, there is the grouchy kitten that that he knows and loves. The kindness Yuri had shown him a few moments ago must have just been a fluke.

Victor smiles indifferently, defenses raised after Mila’s insensitive comment. He was usually so much better at letting comments like that roll off him instead of taking them so personally but even he could see that he wasn’t acting like himself lately.

“We all have off days, Yurio,” he said, gently brushing him off as he looked up the time for the next train. Normally he catches a ride with Yakov but since he’s leaving early today, he’ll have to take the train. Yakov has others skaters he’s training beside himself and it would be selfish of him to take his coach away from training Yuri and Georgi in his absence.

“Don’t think you can fool me with that bullshit. I know you can skate better than that. I don’t want to compete against you if you’re not giving it your best, otherwise I can’t prove I’m better than you,” Yuri said scoffing.

“Your concern is touching,” Victor says cynically, flinging his coat over his shoulder as he prepares to leave. Going home means he can snuggle with Makkachin and that always makes him feel better, “But entirely unnecessary. I just need some rest like Yakov says. You should listen to your coach,” He gives Yuri a lopsided grin, almost laughing at his own advice that he’s clearly never taken.

“Just go marry him already,” Yuri blurts out, ruing the day he ever met this exasperatingly oblivious man. Victor stares at him like he’d spoken in ancient language, eyes widening in confusion and disbelief.

“Go to Japan, marry that dumb omega you couldn’t stop swooning over and then bring him back to Russia. Then I know you’ll skate your best!” Yuri clarifies loudly, frustrated by Victor’s carefree attitude when it was clear that something was wrong. He hates seeing the ridiculously fake smile that Victor gives to the press and his fans, distancing himself from them with his kindness.

“Eh?” Victor still looks genuinely confused at the seemingly unwarranted anger coming from the younger Alpha.

 “You always treat me like a kid but even I can tell that you’re in love with him.  It’s affecting your concentration,” Yuri said, shaking his head, “So stop being a dumbass and just go to him,”

Victor laughs, half in shock and half because of the absurdity of the idea. He never expected Yuri to be the one to suggest going back to Japan, let alone for an omega that he initially resented.

“It’s not that simple,” Victor replies, “Besides, I’m sure he’s forgotten all about me by now, a gorgeous omega like him. He was probably swept up by another Alpha the moment we left.”

It’s a terrifying thought. What if Yuuri had married? Could he live with that? Three months ago, while writing that horrible letter, he’d been positive that it was something he could endure as long as he never knew about it but now he wasn’t so sure. The thought of another Alpha touching Yuuri brought back the same feelings of possessive anger he’d felt right before Yuuri had gone into heat.

“You are making it more complicated than it needs to be,” Yuri argues, fed up with Victor and his excuses, “And you’ll never know unless you go back and see for yourself, though no one was exactly lining up to marry him after hearing that rumor about his last husband,”

Could the answer be so simple?

He shook his head sadly. Even if it was that simple, leaving now would be the most impulsive decision he’s ever made. He should be here, training for the Grand Prix. The competition was getting younger and younger each year and he was already behind on his programs. His short program needed a lot of work and he hadn’t even started on his free skate.

Yakov was right. He just needed to go home and get some rest. Tomorrow he would return and work hard to be the skater that everyone expected him to be.

Yuri groaned, “Let me show you something that might change your mind.”

Victor watched silently as Yuri took his phone out of his jacket pocket and pulled up his Instagram feed, swiping through half a dozen pictures before stopping at the post he was looking for. Victor couldn’t see the post very well since the phone was slightly angled away from him but he thought it might be a picture of person. Yuri didn’t look at it long, clicking a link that took him to a youtube channel.

“What is it?” Victor finally asked, curiosity overcoming him.

“A video. It went viral but I’m not surprised you haven’t seen it since you’ve basically been a hermit for the last couple months,” Yuri grumbled. Although he loathed to admit that he followed the older Alpha through social media, it hadn’t escaped his notice that Victor hadn’t posted anything in a while and his fans were starting to question his absence.

“Video? Of what?” Victor asked eagerly and Yuri smirked in victory at peaking Victor’s endless curiosity.

“Just watch,” Yuri growled, “That omega of yours decided to post a video of him skating one of your old routines and it’s nauseating to watch. I honestly didn’t realize it was him at first, just thinking he was another passionate fan but I recognized the rink he was skating it,”

Victor gasped, “Let me see!” He tried to grab the phone out of Yuri’s hands while skillfully avoiding being kicked and slapped by the younger Alpha’s resistance.

“Get off!” Yuri said pushing him away, “Stupid infatuated asshole...” he griped lowly and queued the video. The title was in Japanese but he clicked on the button to translate it into Russian and turned so that Victor could see it.

_An unknown omega tries to skate Victor’s FS Program [Stay Close to Me]_ , Victor reads. It wasn’t posted to an account under the omega’s name and it didn’t appear in the video that Yuuri had known he was being recorded so his identity was thankfully still a mystery to the general public though Yuri was curious if the omega knows how far it was trending and the controversy it was causing. Yuri knows that if he were to scroll down farther there were a slew of scathing comments posted to the video that caused person who uploaded the video to disable the ability to comment anymore. There was even rumors of a petition to forcibly take the video down despite the fact that it was breaking none of YouTube’s slander or copyright rules. An omega, making such a bold attempt at imitating an Alpha in a sport that was dominated by Alphas. It was just as scandalous as celebrity nude pictures.

The video started out shaky, as if someone inexperienced is recording him, though it tracked him well enough to show off the same artistry they remember seeing the night they snuck into Ice Castle, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that had led them here. Victor watched with a reverent expression on his face, eyes following Yuuri’s movements as the omega expertly skated his routine with more passion that he could ever remembering giving it. Yuri would probably call him biased about that observation but he craved the ability to see Yuuri again, even if the video was only four to five minutes long. The video played out till the end and then the screen went black for a few seconds before it prompted another similar video to play.

“Play it again!” Victor says and Yuri rolls his eyes as he pushes the icon to replay it. They watch the video for a second time and Yuri is forced to endure Victor’s lovesick expression once more.

“Beautiful…” Victor whispers with such a sad smile on his face as the video ends once again, “I am glad he’s feeling well enough to continue skating,”

“You really are an idiot if you think that he wasn’t skating that for you,” Yuri tells him coldly, the words slamming into him like an oncoming truck. His legs suddenly feel unstable and he was strangely lightheaded as they started to wobble uncertainly. He felt his breathing start to pick up as he looks for a place to sit down, unsure if he was going to be able to remain standing much longer.

Yuuri couldn’t have been skating for him. Not after everything that had happened. It was more likely that the omega despised him after leaving so abruptly. Victor shook his head in denial, making Yuri bite back a growl of anger and watch in slight concern as the older Alpha stumbled over to a bench and sat down, burying his face into his hands. He startled, watching with more even more concern as Victor’s deep breathing transformed into throaty chuckles and then eventually teary laughter.

While Yuri was frantically panicking that he’d somehow broken Victor, wondering how much trouble he was going to be in with Yakov for ruining his chances at another gold medal finalist, Victor couldn’t help but feel like the world’s biggest idiot, desperately hoping that he wasn’t too late.

Yuri squealed in surprise and indignation as Victor ran forward and picked the younger Alpha up in a tight hug, squeezing the boy’s scrawny body against his chest. Yuri tensed up in his hold, letting out angry hissing sounds that were reminiscent of an irritated feline but Victor didn’t let him go, swinging him back and forth in his arms excitedly.

“Thank you, Yuri!” he said, using his given name for once, setting him down and kissing him on the cheeks, “I’d invite you to come along but your behind on practice already and Yakov would disown me entirely if I were to bring you with me,”

“As if I’d want to come anyway,” Yuri complained halfheartedly, flushing a deep red in grudging admiration, “You’re both disgusting,”

Victor ran all the way to the train station, wanting to get home and pack as soon as possible. If Yuuri was still unwed, he was going to do everything he could to claim him once and for all. And that started by begging him for forgiveness.

&&

Yuuri had thought that hiding the fact that he was skating again from his parents was going to be difficult but in fact, it was surprisingly easy. His parents usually went to bed late after closing and cleaning up the onsen but Yuuri had no trouble sneaking out after he’d finished his nightly chores. He’d been overly cautious at first, startling at every single noise but as time went on, he started to grow more confident in his ability to sneak out without his parents becoming aware of his rebellion. Even the most flimsy of excuses seemed to work when he wanted to spend his days off at the rink, though he tried to blend into the crowd since it was much more likely that someone would recognize him.

It was exhilarating to be skating again but a little worrying that everything seemed to be working out so perfectly. His ever-present anxiety seemed to remind him of the potential risks involved with tricking his parents and the trouble that he could be in if it were discovered that he was deceiving his caretaker. He imagined his parent’s looks of disappointment as he was dragged out of his home to be properly disciplined and his sister’s anguish. It was almost enough to make him stop but the memory of how he felt when he wasn’t skating kept him from going through with it.

“You’re making yourself sick. Don’t worry so much,” Mari had to constantly remind him, “Mom and dad are clueless. I’ve snuck out for years through that window and they have never figured it out,”

Still, Yuri continued to worry despite her reassurances but he was happy with the progress he was making on his skating. His quad salchow still wasn’t consistently perfect despite his success in the video. But he was steadily improving, albeit at a much slower rate than you would expect, given that he didn’t have a coach to correct his mistakes and had to rely on disciplined self-correction.

The day he found out about the video the triplets had posted going viral had sent him into one of the biggest panic attacks to date. The fear that his parents would accidently come across it or that someone would recognize him and show them was too much to handle and he spent an entire afternoon in his room, slowly counting down the time until his parents approached him to tell him that everything was over and he would have to stop skating again. But time passed and his parents never said anything about it so for his own peace of mind, he had to assume that they hadn’t seen it.

It wasn’t until he found out how people were reacting to his video that things started to turn sour. Objectively he had known that he was breaking societal norms by imitating Victor’s performance but he’d never been on the receiving end of such vulgar scrutiny. Despite knowing how mean people could be on the internet, it wasn’t until he started receiving cruel comments that he’d had to force himself stop paying attention to them. Much like how he’d had to deal with his neighbors scorn after Akihiko’s murder.

There was a small portion of people who came to his defense, other omegas who called him brave for putting up such a video (even though he had done no such thing) and others who admired his courage and boldly commented on his form as if his skating was something to be admired. But there wasn’t nearly enough positive encouragement to drown out the hate and rage other’s felt at seeing something that wasn’t socially accepted and it had forced Yuuko to disable the comments on the video (though she stubbornly denied the possibility of taking it down even at Yuuri’s own behest, not wanting to cow down to the bigoted masses) and disconnected all of her other social media accounts that her kids used to protect them from a hate they couldn’t understand.

He supposed it was lucky that no one in Hasetsu had made the connection that he was the omega in the video, otherwise it would be impossible to keep the news from spreading until it eventually reached his parents. Yuuko and Takeshi had both promised when they found out that the video was uploaded that you couldn’t really see his face very well considering their daughters were amateur cinematographers at best and even he had to admit that during the beginning and end of the song when his face was the most noticeable, he was slight blurred out due to the lack of focus on her old video recorder. So far, he hadn’t seen any comments that included his name so he was finally able to put that worry to rest.

“Pay attention Yuuri!” Mari scolded him, her voice breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. He looked up at his older sister, who was shaking her head at him wearily. He looked down at the clean pot he’d been washing and dimly noticed that his hands were beginning to ache from scrubbing so hard.

“Sorry,” Yuuri said sheepishly, rinsing the soap suds off the exceptionally clean pot and handing it over to her to dry. Cleaning the dishes after their family dinners had become a ritual of sorts that they both cherished since it gave them time to talk about how Yuuri was doing in practice away from their parents without rousing suspicion.

“You’ve been so distracted today,” Mari said reproachfully, “You kept spacing out while you were helping Imaizumi-kun and Atsushi-kun clean the rooms this morning. Are you okay? Did you fall and hurt yourself without telling me?” she asked him sternly, looking him over for signs of injury.

“Ah, no!” Yuuri looked even more embarrassed, “It’s not that. I promise. If I fell again, I would tell you,” He didn’t want to jeopardize his only chance at being able to skate again, “I’m just tired.”

“Hmmmm...” Mari hummed suspiciously but eventually nodded, accepting Yuuri’s excuse. It wasn’t even that he was lying. He was exhausted. He’d had trouble sleeping the last few night, dreams about Akihiko keeping him up. He supposed going to see the grave regularly had some old memories stirring up that he desperately wanted to forget. The horrific memory of finding his dead body and the all too familiar guilt ate away at him every night when he tried to sleep.

Objectively, he knew talking about it would make him feel better. But this wasn’t something that he could tell anyone about. The guilt he felt was like a deep seated secret that was festering inside of him. Even Mari wouldn’t completely understand. She would just tell him that it was misplaced, a form of survivor’s guilt. He’d come home hours after he’d died and felt helpless and scared when he found Akihiko. And if he told his parents, they would just encourage him to go back to see the grief counselor that ORO had assigned for him.

“There you go again,” Mari said sounding exasperated and Yuuri was about to apologize again but was interrupted by a large jaw-cracking yawn, giving all the proof she needed. She honestly wasn’t surprised at his fatigue. Now that he was exercising regularly, he needed rest to keep up his strength but in order to make it look like he was keeping up pretenses, he had to keep doing the same amount of work that he did when he stopped skating. Living a duel life had to be grueling, both mentally and physically.

“I will finish the dishes, go up and go to bed. No skating tonight. I will check on you later just to make sure,” She said firmly and watched as he perked up enough to try and make up an excuse for why that wasn’t necessary, “I mean it, Yuuri. Your dead on your feet and will be barely able to lace your skates up, let alone stop yourself from falling on your face.”

Yuuri pouted in retaliation but eventually submitted to Mari’s command. He wiped his wet hands on a nearby cloth and bid his sister a good night, leaving to go to his room to get some rest. He hated to admit it but his normally endless amounts of stamina was running on empty.

Mari watched him go with an amusement that was stained with sorrow. Yuuri had always been a driven individual, putting everything he had into skating. She remembered the day he’d come home from ballet class, clutching onto a pair of old worn ice skates that Yuuko had given him when she’d gotten a new pair for her birthday. His smile had been so warm and earnest. From that day on, she watched as he grew stronger and stronger, with an intense passion that she quite truthfully envied. There was nothing in her life that was as important to her as the ice was to Yuuri. Although he had his anxieties, her brother worked incredibly hard to get where he was today and she knew that he would have blown away the competition, if only he’d been given the chance.

She finished up the dishes in a heavy silence and then left to find her parents, wondering if there was any more work that needed to be done for the night. Yuuri wasn’t the only one who was tired, though she could hide it a little better than him. She found them in their private dining room, both smiling broadly at each other. They both looked incredibly happy and Hiroko even had tears in her eyes, holding a slightly crumpled up letter in her hands. Mari felt her heart skip a beat as the first inklings of dread settled in her stomach.

“Mari-chan,” Hiroko turned when she saw her daughter, waving the ominous letter at her, “We’ve just gotten wonderful news. Your brother finally received a proposal of marriage. Can you believe it? Your father and I are so excited.”

“No,” Mari mutters in alarm, the seed of fear growing into despair and resentment. How could their parents even consider marrying Yuuri off, not when he was finally getting better? And there was no guarantee that the Alpha bidding for Yuuri’s hand would allow him to continue skating. All her hard work would be wasted.

“What do you mean no?” Hiroko asked, looking disappointed at her reaction but she didn’t let that stop her, “How can you not be excited for your brother? Yuuri will be able to start a family again, something you should be thinking about as well. Once this whole unpleasant business has been resolved maybe it’s time we started looking for an omega for you to marry.”

“Unpleasant? You speak about Yuuri as if he’s a pair of shoes you’re trying to sell online that no one is interested in. Plus, he’s not ready to be married again,” Mari argued, hoping that Yuuri was still in his room and wouldn’t overhear this conversation. She hated arguing with her parents but that was all they seemed to do lately. Yuuri had enough to worry about without feeling guilty about being the cause of some much strife in their family, “It’s only been a year since Akihiko died. It’s too soon for him to go through that again,”

“You know that isn’t how I meant it, Mari. All I’m saying is that Yuuri can finally be happy again. Don’t you want that for your brother?” Hiroko added, her voice rising higher in pitch the more upset she became.

“He’s just starting to be happy again! Why can’t either of you see that?!” Mari said, feeling desperate enough for a smoke. Her fingers twitched relentlessly, craving it so much that she absently felt for the pack she kept in her uniform.

“That is enough,” Toshiyo interrupted firmly, before the conversation between his wife and daughter got any more out of hand, as it was liable to do. Mari’s moods lately were never easy to predict and he was constantly perplexed by the dramatic change that had come over her in the last year. She hadn’t been this confrontational since she was a hormonal teenager, influenced by her unruly aggressive behavior.

 “We are not going to discuss this anymore tonight, either of you. As Yuuri’s caretaker, I will make the final decision. I know that Yuuri has been through a lot this last year and I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to be the one to find Akihiko like that but I believe that finding an Alpha to settle down with will be good for him. It will ground him and give him a new chance at happiness. We also have to think about how it will look if he remains unwed for too long. We don’t need anyone asking questions that we don’t have answers for,” He sounded serious enough that Mari knew she wasn’t going to be able to talk him out of any decision he made.

He paused, looking pained for a split second. He took a deep breath before continuing while both his daughter and wife stared at him in astonishment. Toshiyo normally had such a mild temperament so it wasn’t often that he got this riled up. This was the most he’d spoken in one sitting for quite a while, preferring to let his wife do all the idle chatting for him.

“This is the first proposal letter that we have received since Yuuri’s grieving period ended. We would be remiss if we didn’t take this offer seriously but I will not give Yuuri away again without making sure that he is going to be safe this time. Akihiko was a business man and it’s possible he made some enemies in his line of work. Perhaps he made some shady business deals and that is the reason why he is dead. And there is not a day that passes that I am not thankful that whoever killed Akihiko spared my son but I am not going to give up on giving Yuuri his best possible chance,” Toshiyo continued, face set in an unwavering glower. He was standing up straight, the muscles in his back taut in a determined stance.

Mari couldn’t help the bitter laughter that escaped but before she could comment on where all their concern had been when Yuuri had been nearly killing himself two months ago, there was a soft timid knock at the door and their night manager stood by anxiously.

“Katsuki-san,” she said looking at Toshiyo, trembling nervously at having to interrupt their family disagreement, “There is a guest downstairs wanting to check in. I tried to tell him that we are closed for the night but he does not speak much Japanese and I don’t know English very well. He’s waiting in the front lobby and he also has a dog with him.”

“I see. Thank you, Haruna-san. We will take care of it.” Toshiyo said, frowning. Haruna bowed and nodded before leaving, eagerly returning to her work. Since they closed their front desk at night, Haruna wasn’t properly trained to check in any of the guests and was mainly there for emergencies that arouse during the night with existing guests. A new guest arriving this late, with a pet no less, was unprecedented but he wasn’t in the habit of turning business away, especially foreign business. He turned to Mari, “I will make a decision regarding this matter after your mother and I have met with this Alpha. That is final. Why don’t you go greet our guest while your mother and I get a room set up? Room 204 is available.”

Mari was the smartest choice to send. She spoke the best English out of the three of them but that didn’t mean she had to like being sent away like an errant child. She kept her scowl on her face until she reached the entrance to the onsen and then attempted to look like she wasn’t thinking of committing mass murder, which was admittedly bad for business. But when she saw who was at the door, her scowl returned full force.

“Oh, it’s you,” she replied dryly, “What do you want?”

It was the Russian pretty boy ice skater who had toyed with her brother’s heart and then simply left like nothing had happened but this time he didn’t have his blonde friend with him. Instead of the hotheaded Alpha, he had a full sized brown-haired poodle sitting quietly and obediently at his side, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. She had half a mind to throw them both out despite the fact that her parents were getting a room ready for him but she schooled her response, giving him a sweet smile that contradicted the promise of retribution in her eyes.

Victor cleared his throat nervously. Normally he was fearless when it came to standing up to other Alpha’s because he had such overpowering charisma and allure on and off the ice but there was something about Mari’s calm and collected disposition that projected such a deadly aura. It had his hair standing up on end and all of his instincts were telling him to run, that this Alpha meant to tear him apart but Victor wasn’t known for being the most sensible when it came to the things he selfishly desired.

 “To make amends,” he murmured, meaning to sound more confident in his response but Mari was intimidating when she was angry so he leaned down and patted Makkachin on the head a few times for luck, making the dog quietly whine at the oppressive atmosphere that had settled between them, “Leaving was a mistake,” he continued.

“Was it now?” Mari asked in a sickly sweet tone that had an undertone of malice, “That’s not the impression you gave Yuuri when you left him that letter. I believe you told him that you were never coming back and wished him the best of luck finding someone else only a day after I asked you how serious your intentions were for him. So either you lied to him or you lied to me.”

Mari had never gone into specific details about what she said to Victor that night after witnessing just how far Yuuri had fallen into his depression but she had often wondered if she had come on too strong and scared him off. She couldn’t help feeling guilty that she could be the reason that Yuuri was suffering so she tried her best to come up with a way to help Yuuri be able to stake again to make up for it.

Victor winced at the mention of the letter, “It’s… complicated but please know that I never had the intention of hurting Yuuri and I am sorry if my departure came as a shock to you both,” he said and then sighed dejectedly when Mari didn’t appear to be impressed by his words, only raising one of her eyebrows at him in response.

“I know what I’m saying does not seem very sincere after reading my letter but I had my reasons for leaving at the time. They seem so stupid now and I want to make up for my disrespectful actions. If Yuuri is still unwed, I wish to court him properly before submitting my proposal for marriage. With your blessing,” he continued and then bowed at the waist, keeping low. The action felt odd to him since it didn’t mean much in his own culture but he knew it was a sign of respect to Mari’s.

There were a lot of things that he was going to get used to if he wanted this to work and impressing his future in-laws was important to him, Mari especially even though she didn’t have final say over accepting his proposal. He would definitely rather have Mari as an ally rather than an enemy, knowing after their little debacle at the market last time he’d been here that Mari was a pro at working behind the scenes, pulling on the strings of fate. If she was agreeable to helping Victor, than he had no doubt that he would be successful in getting his father’s approval to marry Yuuri.

Mari didn’t say anything to his heartfelt admission at first, staring at Victor with such intensity that he felt like he was under a microscope. He’d never felt this scrutinized in front of a panel of judges, ready to penalize him for the slightest imperfection. Given how upset she currently was at him, he dimly wondered if he was going to be able to win her approval. And considering how close Mari and Yuuri were, if he couldn’t get her blessing then it seemed important to make sure that she at least could tolerate him.

“You have good timing, I’ll give you that. If you had come any later, you’d be too late,” Mari finally said, sounding annoyed but willing to help as long as Victor had Yuuri’s best intentions in mind,  “I’ll show you to your room and I can help you talk to my parents tomorrow,”

“So he’s not…married?” Victor had to summon the courage to ask, heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“No, not yet at least but we have to hurry.” Mari said hastily. She didn’t know who this mysterious Alpha was that had put forth a proposal but her gut was telling her that Victor had a better chance at making Yuuri happy. And she would fight for him to prove that to her parents.

Victor let out the breath he’d been holding, closing his eyes in ardent relief and elation.

“Don’t think this means you’re off the hook,” Mari told him, raising one of her eyebrows at him, “You’re still going to regret hurting my brother but your punishment will never be at the expense of his happiness.” She assured, making him shiver in anticipation.

Despite the fact that she had agreed to help him, he still didn’t feel like he had cause to celebrate quite yet. After all, Mari was only the first hurdle he had to cross when it came to getting Yuuri to forgive him.

&&

Victor got up early the next morning, dragging his jet-lagged body out of bed before dawn as exhaustion tugged heavily on his limbs. He’d arrived at Fukuoka Airport late last night, worn-out from two layovers in Shanghai and Kyoto and a three hour drive to Hasetsu. Though he would have preferred a direct flight, it had been the best he could get out of St. Petersburg at the last minute and trying to sleep at the airport had been uncomfortable to say the least. He’d collapsed onto the bed last night after Mari had left, thinking that he’d fall asleep quickly given how tired he was but after only being able to get a few hours of sleep, he’d finally given up. He silently changed into a pair of grey athletic pants and a long sleeved, black and white striped shirt before sitting back down on the bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Makkachin lifted his head at his sluggish movements, yawning and stretching his limber body. He stood up eagerly to greet his master, tail wagging happily and Victor pulled him into a hug, burying his face into his soft brown curls. Makkachin whined, wiggling slightly so that he could turn and lick the side of Victor’s face comfortingly, intuitively knowing that something was upsetting his favorite human but unable to make it better.

Victor yawned into Makkachin’s fur and then gave him a quick kiss on the head before standing up, grabbing the leash off the dresser and clipping it onto his dog’s collar, knowing that he needed to take him out to use the bathroom before Mari came to get him for the meeting with Yuuri’s parents. He also needed some coffee to jump start his brain, not wanting to say anything that could ruin his chances because of his high-strung nerves and lack of sleep. The kitchen was still closed when he arrived and he made an awkward attempt to ask the nice lady who’d brought him in last night where the nearest coffee shop was but left her alone when it was obvious she was frazzled from trying to communicate through the language barrier between them. He left the onsen quietly, trying not to disturb any of the other guests, figuring it wouldn’t be that hard to find on his own.

After wandering around for an hour, he finally admitted defeat and flung himself onto a bench on the side of the road some kilometers from the onsen, even more tired than he was when he’d left from all the walking he’d done. He was completely turned around and had lost his admittedly terrible sense of direction wandering around in a completely new and foreign environment. Unfortunately, it was still early enough that not many people were out to ask directions and he’d only seen a few cars out on the road. He let out a defeated sigh and took a deep breath of the crisp morning air.

Makkachin barked and pulled on his leash, turned around to face a peculiar sight. Victor looked up and his eyes widened in surprise. Somehow, in all the confusion, he ended up in front of a cemetery.

The cemetery was nestled in the middle of a dense forest on the mountain, with a dirt path winding through large stone obelisk gravestones. The names of the deceased were etched in kanji onto the stone obelisks and while there were some that had incense sticks, candles and flowers resting at the base—an indication of mourning visitors— a lot of them were overgrown and showing signs of neglect. A slight fog rolled through the grass between the gravestones, giving the area an eerie yet mystical feeling and the entrance was guarded with a timeworn Torii gate. The red paint was chipping slightly in places but the wooden structure appeared to be sound.

He chuckled when he thought of Yurio’s reaction if he’d been here, chastising him for thinking that there would be a coffee shop this far up a mountain road while calling him all sorts of insulting nicknames. He turned back around and considering retracing his steps to get back to the onsen, coffee or no coffee but Makkachin barked and pulled on his leash again, tugging him towards the entrance of the cemetery.

Victor squinted down at Makkachin in confusion, thinking he must have seen a squirrel or something that he wanted to chase in the trees. He gently pulled on the leash, not in the mood to deal with a runway squirrel but when Makkachin looked up at him again, walking closer to the entrance and then looking back at Victor like he wanted him to follow, Victor shrugged indifferently and supposed that there was no harm in checking it out. He’d already walked all the way up here and considering how busy he was going to be in the next week wooing Yuuri, he might as well do a little sightseeing while he had the time. And although it wasn’t listed in his guidebook as tourist destination for this region, he remembered reading online how strikingly extraordinary Japanese graveyards were.

He followed the uneven path as it wound along for two kilometers before forking into two paths. To his right, the path turned and ended at a small Buddhist temple hidden between two large cedar trees. The path on his left climbed up a small hill, the dirt having been replaced with mortar and stone steps and Victor stopped in a moment on indecision, wondering which way he should go. Makkachin ended up making the decision for him, climbing the first few steps leading up the hill and then turned back to look at him expectantly.

At the top of the hill he passed underneath another Torii gate, built with stone this time and the path evened out, creating an easy and smooth walking lane. Victor didn’t have to be a genius to know that these were families of importance and wealth, noting the bigger and more elaborate obelisk memorial shrines that had their own private plots decorated with stone lanterns and religious statues.

He was so busy admiring the opulent gravestones that he didn’t realize how lax his hand had become around the leash, usually not having to worry about Makkachin running away from him since he was normally very well trained. So it was a surprise when Makkachin suddenly bolted and the leash was yanked out of his hand unexpectedly. He jerked around to see what had caused Makkachin to run away and belatedly realized that they were not alone anymore. He watched in growing horror as Makkachin ran at full speed towards an oblivious mourner, instinctively knowing that he was going to jump up on the man.

“No, Makka! Come back,” he shouted, already running after him but it was too late. Before he could do anything to stop him, Makkachin had pounced and the man fell to the ground with a loud and somewhat young high-pitched shriek. He immediately rushed over to help, a sincere apology already forming on his lips but before he could say anything, he gasped in disbelief, finally getting a good look at just who his dog had collided with. He couldn’t believe his bad luck as he stared into the surprised eyes of the very omega he was here to court.

 “V-Victor!” Yuuri stuttered ineloquently, looking adorably bewildered with his glasses askew on his face.

Victor felt his heartrate speed up and a warm bubbly feeling swell throughout his chest, spreading from his heart to the pit of his belly. He kept silently staring at Yuuri like he was a mirage sent to tease him and would disappear if he looked away for even a moment, memorizing his image. He couldn’t properly explain it but seeing Yuuri again felt like coming up from air after drowning, a heavy pressure lifting off his chest that he hadn’t even realized was there in the first place and he wanted to grab onto the feeling and never let it go, cherishing it for the fragile thing that it was.

Was this was Eros truly felt like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was another that I chopped in half to try and keep a decent flow to the story. So the next one is more than halfway done and should be up in the next week or so. I'm predicting that this is around the halfway point (I can't promise anything... it could go on forever...) and I have the next few chapters already plotted out. Things are going to start picking up after this, I can promise you that. Thanks again for all the comments and please let me know what you think. :)


	7. In Darkness, there is Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer than I wanted it too. And it's all Victor's fault. The little shit keep going out of character and I would have to reign him in. I hope he turned out okay. Thank you for all the encouraging and kind comments!

Nothing could have prepared him for this moment. When he had left Russia, he’d done so with a single-minded objective. He’d had a lot of time to think on a nine hour flight. Yuuri had deserved more than an abrupt vanishing act and vague letter explaining his absence. His poorly worded letter had meant to be a clean break, an attempt to evade new and complex feelings that he’d never had to deal with before. Fear and doubt had clouded his judgement after hearing Yakov’s chiding remarks, leading him to make the biggest and most cowardly mistake of his entire life.

Mari’s distrustful and accusatory reaction had been expected given how badly he’d handled his departure and he could only hope that Yuuri was more amenable. He wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life and hopefully once Victor had earned Yuuri’s forgiveness and received Toshiyo’s official blessing, he could court the omega properly as he should have done months ago.

Now that the repercussions of Makkachin’s mischief was slowly settling in, it seemed like his dream of marrying Yuuri was slowly slipping from his grasp and Victor mentally added ‘getting bowled over by his dog’ to the list of things he needed to apologize for. Makkachin wasn’t as concerned about the situation as much as Victor was, continuing to sit on top Yuuri while he licked his face excitedly, causing the omega to squirm and push him away uncomfortably. Victor shook himself from his stupor and immediately moved to rescue him from his well-meaning but overenthusiastic dog.  

“I’m sorry. He got away from me before I could stop him!” Victor cried, taking hold of the leash and pulled Makkachin off the omega, “Bad dog!” he scolded the poodle, who whined and looked at him with intensely sad puppy eyes that Victor was usually never able to resist. But this time, bolstered by the thought of the potential of Yuuri being hurt, Victor shook his head obstinately and stood his ground.  

Yuuri said nothing as he continued to lay on the ground, staring up at Victor like he was seeing a ghost, his face an unnatural shade of white. After reading that letter, he had resigned himself to the fact that he was never going to see Victor again so it was surprising to run into him here of all places, right in front of Akihiko’s gravestone. His heart ached, feeling like the universe was mocking him, reminding him of his disastrous past and teasing him with a hopeless future.  

Over the last few months he’d tried his hardest to forget about Victor, doing everything to distract himself from the Alpha’s noticeable absence since it was obvious that Victor wasn’t interested in him anymore. But now that he was back… he didn’t know what to think.

 “ _Don’t get your hopes up again. You don’t know if Victor came back for you_. _He could be here for anything_ ,” Yuuri chastised himself bitterly. He struggled to stand, his legs tangled in his traditional yukata so Victor grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet effortlessly. He was reluctant to let go once Yuuri was upright, causing the omega to look away with a blush dusting his delicate cheeks.

“I thought you had gone back home?” Yuuri asked, trying to sound casual even though his heart was beating loud enough that he was sure Victor could hear it from where he was standing a few feet away.

“I did,” Victor said, trying to regain his ability to put words into sentences that had any meaning. He hadn’t realized that seeing Yuuri after all this time would take so much out of him and he found himself unable to take his eyes off such a beautiful sight. The rising sun peaked over the tree line and surrounded Yuuri in a soft yellow light, giving him an ethereal beauty that seemed too perfect for this world.

Yuuri hadn’t changed in the months he’d been away, his black hair fluttering in the slight breeze and his eyes shining an iridescent burgundy in the light behind his square frame glasses. His glasses were large enough that they covered a fair portion of his face yet they didn’t take away from his beauty, only added to it. Victor didn’t know why he expected Yuuri to look any different in such a short time but the months he’d been away had felt more like years and though he wasn’t any taller, he did look like he’d lost a few too many pounds.

Victor smiled awkwardly, shaking off his shock and trying to appear like his normal confident self, “And now I’m back,” He said, trying to play it off like leaving wasn’t such a big deal and grimaced when he realized how uncaring he sounded.

“Oh?” Yuuri tried to hide his wince but knew he wasn’t completely successful. He ducked his head to hide his eyes in humiliation, not wanting to appear like those wanton omegas you saw on the TV screen, throwing themselves at Alphas who were obviously not interested in their company. He was preparing to excuse himself so that he could run away and hide under a rock for the rest of his life, never to show his face again when he realized that Victor was still holding onto his hand, eerily similar to that day in the market.

Embarrassed, he quickly started to pull away but Victor held on tighter, unconsciously afraid that losing contact would be the reason he lost Yuuri for good. Yuuri fidgeted under Victor’s intense scrutiny, causing the alpha to release him when he realized how irrational he was acting. His hand opened and closed into a fist, feeling unnaturally empty now that he wasn’t holding onto Yuuri.

 “What are you doing here?” Victor blurted out the first question that came to mind and then instantly regretted it, realizing how idiotic of a question it was. There was usually only one reason to come to a cemetery.

“Paying my respects,” Yuuri said with a small patient smile, holding his hand out towards an extravagant gravestone. “I come here once a week to make sure everything stays clean. It was my duty to take care of him in life and in death, even though most people don’t think I deserve the right to,”

“Then this is…” Victor looked at the grave. It was a beautiful plot, clear of dirt and debris. The main headstone was taller than Yuuri, surrounded on both sides by two ornate stone lanterns. A lotus was carved into the stone underneath the vertically carved name in kanji, a religious symbol of rebirth. There was a hint of lavender in the air from two long incense sticks that were still burning and at the base of the stone, sat a metal flower holder filled with a single white tulip.

A peculiar flower, Victor thought curiously. He remembered his babushka’s passion for flowers and her lessons on their meaning before she died when he was ten. White tulips were normally used to try and claim worthiness or seek forgiveness but maybe he was wrong. It had been a very long time since he’d thought about it.

“My late husband, Sohei Akihiko,” Yuuri said, stiffly. He sounded strangely apathetic to Victor, “I’m sure you’ve heard all the gossip concerning his death staying at the onsen. They won’t say anything in front of my parents but I hear them when their backs are turned.”

“Yuri did mention something about that before we left,” Victor admitted cautiously, knowing that he was treading on dangerous ground here. He wasn’t expecting to meet Yuuri’s ex so soon, “If you don’t mind me asking… What was he like?”

“He was… traditional,” Yuuri said surprising himself by telling a truth that only his family knew. He didn’t know why but it was easy to talk to Victor and he found himself opening up a part of himself that he never had before. Normally he tried to pretend to be the omega that society expected him to be, not wanting to add any more fuel to the rumors circulating about his part in Akihiko’s death. Finding out that he wasn’t happy with his marriage would only make it seem more likely that he’d had a hand in his murder. “He liked a subservient omega who was seen but not heard. I was more of a trophy than a husband.”

Victor opened and closed his mouth, unsure of how to respond to such blunt honesty and Yuuri laughed at his atrocious impression of a fish, graciously putting him out of his misery, “It’s complicated but I don’t hate him if that’s what you think. I just didn’t love him,” he clarified.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to,” Victor said sympathetically, “I can’t imagine having to be married to someone I didn’t love,”

 _No_ , Yuuri thought sadly, _you don’t and you’ll never have to. You’re an Alpha._

“And after what I did to you, I don’t expect you to forgive me but I hope you’ll give me a chance to explain why I left so suddenly,” he continued and Yuuri’s heart skipped a beat. He’d been hoping to just ignore the elephant in the room but Victor seemed determined to bring up old wounds.

He didn’t know if his heart could stand to hear Victor tell him how sorry he was and then still reject him after putting on a show of flattering him. Like he was some pretty object that he’d picked up to enjoy and then discarded when he saw all the little imperfections up close.

Most people would want more of an explanation for the Alpha’s sudden disappearance but he honestly wasn’t sure what he wanted Victor to say. That this was all a big mistake. That he had lied and had fallen for Yuuri at first glance, while planning on marrying him as soon as he finished whatever business he had in Russia. Was that what he really wanted? Everything with Victor had happened so fast that he really hadn’t stopped to think about what marrying him would entail.

Was his parent’s right? Would marrying again make him happy?

But then again, did it even matter what he wanted in the first place? Marriage had always been the endgame the moment he’d presented and had always seemed like an unavoidable fact of life. If not Victor, then someone else would eventually come along to claim him. Perhaps putting all his expectations on Victor after just one meeting had been naive and foolish of him. He couldn’t let himself get hurt again, not after how hard it had been to pick himself up last time. And if that meant accepting reality, than it was time he stopped living in his unattainable dreams.

“You don’t owe me anything. Besides, your letter explained everything,” Yuuri assured hurriedly, hoping to avoid the heartbreak of rejection but Victor shook his head stubbornly.

 “The day before I left, I got a phone call from my coach. I was so excited to tell him about you and how happy I was here but he spoke before I got the chance. He didn’t say anything that he hasn’t already told me before but he reminded me that I had certain responsibilities that I couldn’t abandon. I have sponsors who are expecting me to perform and Yurio had to get back to training. He wouldn’t leave Japan without me so I felt like I had no choice, that I had to leave. But it was a choice, one that _I_ made and I regret it,” Victor sounded completely sincere but Yuuri wouldn’t let himself believe that it meant anything more than an Alpha trying to absolve his guilt.

“You said you had no immediate plans to return,” Yuuri reminded him before he could talk himself out of it, “You called me- _Japan_ a distraction. I don’t see how anymore clear that could have been,”

“I did say that and at the time I meant it. I was scared,” Victor admitted, feeling raw but also desperate for Yuuri to understand, “Of how happy I was that day… of how happy you made me. Running away was easier than confronting those fears,”

Yuuri clenched his fists, hating how much that sounded like a confession. His heart was taking Victor’s words and twisting them up, making them sound like something romantic even though his head could logically tell the difference. He knew how affectionate Victor could be with his close friends and his fans. _Skating Today_ had called him a ‘certifiable heartbreaker’ in an exhibition article and Victor had laughed and approved of their assessment in an interview with Conon O’Brian a few weeks later. Yuuri was terrified that he was going to be one of the many who walked away feeling more intensely about Victor than Victor felt about him.

But holding onto to this pain was only going to hurt him in the end so he had to face it. And maybe being friends with Victor wouldn’t be so bad. Not many could claim proof of Victor’s friendship and this time around he could introduce him to Yuuko to get back into her good graces. She still went out of her way to remind him how cruel he was for withholding the information that Victor was staying at the onsen.

“Apology accepted,” Yuuri said, with a strained smile.

Eager to change the subject, he looked around curiously and then asked the question that he should have sooner. It made sense why Yuuri was here but he couldn’t figure out why Victor was here. Did Mari tell him where he was going to be? This cemetery was far too remote for it to be attracting tourists and it sounded like something his sister would do but that also meant that he was staying at the onsen since they were still closed at this early hour.

“What are you doing in a cemetery?” Yuuri asked, very much doubting that Victor was here for the same reason he was.

“I was walking my dog, looking for coffee and we sort of got lost. It was luck that lead me here.” Victor said truthfully, relaxing into the conversation. He was relieved that Yuuri seemed to forgive him, thinking that maybe he hadn’t screwed this up at all? Or maybe Yuuri was just being kind, letting him off too easy when he should be holding a grudge.

“The nearest coffee shop is too far of a walk from the onsen, you’ll have to take the bus or a taxi. We don’t serve any at the onsen but we have some caffeinated tea that’ll tide you over. The kitchen will be open by the time you return,” Yuuri said, trying to be helpful. That was something a friend would do.

Victor couldn’t stop smiling, thanking his good fortune that he’d gotten lost and found this place. It had to be some sort of sign, the will of fate that had lead him here.

“Since I obviously don’t know my way around, maybe you could show me where the best place to get a cup is later. We could also go get some ramen for lunch?” Victor asked eagerly, “I bet you know where all the best restaurants are!”

Yuuri let out a soft sigh, cursing his foolish heart for having hope. Despite how much it sounded like a date, Victor most likely meant it as a friendly invitation since he didn’t know many people in the area. Luckily he had the most perfect excuse to turn him down.

“I don’t know how things are done in Russia but it would be inappropriate if I went out with you unchaperoned, even as a friend. My father would be unhappy and I doubt Mari can cover for us again like last time,” he said, trying to sound disinterested while avoiding any mention of his sudden heat the last time they were alone together. Now that he knew that Victor wasn’t romantically interested in him, going into a spontaneous heat around an unclaimed Alpha was incredibly embarrassing. Maybe that was what had turned Victor off. Their day out at the market had been meant in good fun but almost being forced into a rut wasn’t very dignified for any Alpha.

Victor didn’t appear to be put out by his discouragement, placing a finger to his lips in contemplation, “You’re absolutely right, I’m getting ahead of myself. I should go and properly ask your father for the right to court you first before I take you out on a date,”

“V-victor,” Yuuri stammered, turning bright shade of red, “Do you realize what that means?”

Courting was considered a concept of western culture. In Japan, it was rare to find an Alpha that wanted to court an omega, rather than merely submitting a proposal for marriage. Courting gave the illusion that the omega had any choice in the matter when it was solely up to the omega’s caretaker.

In other parts of the world, omegas were treated with varying degrees of respect. In Great Britain and America, they even had the right to try and veto the marriage if there was sufficient evidence that they would make a bad match. ORO mandated laws were more lenient in western cultures but Japan was still considered harsh when it came to omega rights.

“Of course!” Victor grinned in response, seemingly oblivious to the cultural taboo he was encroaching on, “But how else I am supposed to take you out?”

“A marriage proposal is serious in my culture, Victor.” Yuuri shook his head in dismay, “If you submit your bid and then withdraw it because all you wanted was to take me out for fun, there will be an assumption that there is something wrong with me and bring shame to my family. I already have to deal with the fallout of Akihiko’s death. You should only bid for my hand if you are prepared to marry me.”

Victor’s brow furrowed in disbelief, having not even thought it was possible that Yuuri didn’t know how he felt by now. He’d thought he’d made it extremely clear with his confession earlier, “And what makes you think I’m not?” he asked.

“You’re Victor Nikiforov!” Yuuri cried, still in denial, “You could have any omega you wanted and you’d choose me?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Victor frowned in confusion. It was the whole reason he was here and he wasn’t planning on going to go home without having even tried to convince Yuuri that he was serious.

“I’m not youngest omega you could find and I don’t exactly have the best reputation.” Yuuri said, not wanting to get back into the subject of his dead husband. If Victor started to suspect that he had anything to do with it, he was scared that he might realize what a joke it was to be considering asking for his hand in marriage. Yuuri already had a fragile hold over his self-esteem and if a respectable Alpha like Victor withdrew his bid, he’d lose what little confidence he had left in himself.

“If you mean the rumor about you killing your husband, please don’t worry about that. I don’t put much stock in rumors that don’t have any evidence to back it up.” Victor replied confidently. He had faith that if they hadn’t had enough evidence to prove he did it in a courtroom, then there was nothing to prove.

 “And to tell you the truth, I’m not looking for a younger omega. I want one that is closer to my age so that makes you perfect,” he continued in a lighter tone. A younger omega might appeal to an Alpha who’s only goal was show them off but Victor wanted more than that.

Yuuri was so relieved that he thought he might cry, “No one has ever said that to me. Any of it.” He muttered in amazement.

Victor stepped closer, leaning in and brushing a stray piece of hair out of Yuuri’s face. He was close enough that he could feel his minty breath on his face and Yuuri’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest from how intensely Victor was staring at him.

“You’re also the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Victor whispered adoringly, unable to look away from him. His hand reached up to touch the side of Yuuri’s face and Yuuri’s eyes widened in surprise at how heartfelt the compliment sounded.

He’d always considered himself a little plain compared to other omegas in Hasetsu. His face was too round, his nose a bit too small and his eyes a boring shade of brown that were hidden behind his large frame glasses that he liked to wear despite that fact that they didn’t look very flattering on him. It didn’t help that his lackluster black hair was all too common around these parts, generally a mess unless he purposefully slicked it back into place no matter how much time he spent brushing it out and he was taller than average. Akihiko had called him beautiful all the time but never once had he felt that way about himself, knowing that part of his allure was always going to be due to his omegan status.

But it wasn’t like that with Victor, who thought of him as a person first and an omega second, who stared at him with expressive blue eyes that made him feel like he was invincible and vulnerable at the same time. Victor kept staring at him like he had every intention of kissing him and god, how Yuuri wanted him to but Makkachin chose that moment to let out a tentative whine, pulling on the leash as he walked in circles around them.

Yuuri tensed, jumping away from Victor’s touch, remembering how the last time they’d almost kissed he’d gone into heat and he hoped with every fiber of his being that it wouldn’t happen again. Not now when he was so close to getting what he wanted. Someone who wanted him, not for being an omega, but just for being himself.

“Y-you t-too,” he said, blushing heavily. Victor had been startled at Yuuri’s abrupt actions but chuckled, looking down at Makkachin. He gave the dog a quick pat and then retuned his attention back to the omega in front of him, taking a few steps back.

“Yuuri, I want to court you and I have every intention of marrying you if your father allows it. But more importantly, I want you to want to marry me. I don’t want a trophy omega like your last husband. I want a partner that will be by my side for the good and the bad. If you don’t want to marry me, I will not put in my bid. We will just part as friends.” Victor said sincerely and if anyone from back home had overheard him, they might not have recognized him. It was probably the most unselfish thing he’d ever done in his life.

And it was everything Yuuri had ever wanted to hear from an Alpha’s proposal and part of him felt like it was too good to be true. This couldn’t be happening in real life. The tears spilled over causing Victor to fret over him, worrying that he said something wrong. He cupped Yuuri’s face with both his hands, wiping away at the tears with his thumbs, making soothing noises to try and comfort his omega.

His omega… Victor breathed deeply, feeling a heavy weight lift off his chest. He liked the sound of that.

“I want you to court me,” Yuuri said, smiling through his tears.

Victor felt unbelievably happy as he picked Yuuri up in a hug, spinning him around and holding Yuuri against his chest tenderly with the urge to never let go. He was only a little bit shorter than Victor so it should have been awkward yet it wasn’t, wrapped up in Victor’s strong arms, feeling safe and secure enough that he wasn’t going to be dropped. Yuuri giggled looking down into Victor’s blue eyes that were sparkling in the sunlight, blushing at the incredibly cheesy move straight out of a romcom that Victor had somehow pulled off all the while making it look so easy. His legs and core muscles were strong from years of skating and he was able to hold Yuuri up against him easily.

“I can’t leave you two alone for a moment, can I?” A voice interrupted them, sounding irritatingly fond.

Yuuri gasped and jumped away, staring at Minako in rising mortification. He gulped, looking down at the ground while Victor took a deep breath. The presence of another Alpha so close was aggravating to his senses and to make it worse, it was the same Alpha who had interrupted them the last time. He recognized her earthy scent.

“This is the second time I’ve caught you two in a compromising position, alone without a chaperone. If I didn’t know any better I might think you were planning these meetings to take advantage of Yuuri,” Minako said, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. She remembered this silver haired Alpha from before when she’d been sent to pick up Yuuri after losing track of him that day at the market. From what she could get out of Mari, he was also the Alpha had had broken poor Yuuri’s heart, leaving him high and dry after he’d gone into an early heat.

If he was here to take advantage of Yuuri, she was going to do everything in her power to stop him. She placed her hands place on her hips for the full effect, her body tense and ready for a fight. This Alpha wasn’t very big even though he had height but he had an intimidating presence, not nearly as effective as Mari, but he could definitely go toe to toe with her and do some damage.

“That was not my intention. I was merely out taking my dog for a walk but I did approach Yuuri when he was all alone. I should have kept my distance. But I would never do anything to manipulate Yuuri like that.” Victor growled defensively, immediately placing himself in front of his omega to protect him.

He felt a jolt go through his body, energy coursing through his veins and muscles contracting as an instinctive urge overtook him. His head felt fuzzy, his sense’s sharpening. The only thing that mattered was protecting Yuuri from the other Alpha before him so he kept eye contact, staring at her with a challenge in his eyes.

He would have tried to strike first to get the upper hand but a small hand on his arm stopped him and he turned his attention to the omega next to him. Yuuri was shaking, giving him pleading glances to stop while fighting his own instinct to submit to Victor and Minako’s imposing presence.

Seeing this, Victor took a deep breath to reorient himself. This wasn’t the time to let his instincts get the better of him, not when he had so much riding on his ability to prove himself as a respectable Alpha who could control himself. Yet his instinctive drive to keep Yuuri safe was already so strong that he wondered how it was going to feel after they bonded. Would he always felt so threatened when another Alpha approached Yuuri, even if it was an Alpha that Yuuri considered to be family?

“Minako-sensei,” Yuuri stepped out from behind Victor and the Alpha had to reign in the urge to reach for him and pull him back, clenching his hands into fists and forcing them to the side. He watched with shaking fists as Yuuri walked up to the other Alpha and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Please, we got carried away again but I promise Victor wasn’t trying to hurt me. He was apologizing and trying to make it up to me but nothing happened,” Yuuri said in a pleading tone, not wanting either of them to fight on his behalf. Minako relaxed as soon as Yuuri was near her, glancing at the omega to make sure that he wasn’t hurt before turning to look at Victor again, eyeing him up and down in a calculating manner.

“Relax kiddo,” She told Yuuri, ruffling his hair and watching in satisfaction as Victor shuddered, holding back a snarl at her mischievous actions, “I understand and I’m not going to tell anyone. Though I should warn you both that Mari is pissed and looking for you, Victor. She said you had an appointment that you were supposed to go to,”

“I’m meeting with Yuuri’s parents today to talk about submitting a proposal. She is going to help me translate for them,” Victor admitted, having completely forgotten about it.

“You are?” Yuuri looked at him in surprise. He’d passed Mari on his way out this morning and she hadn’t told him any of this, or even that Victor was back in town. She must have known and intentionally withheld the information from him. But why? Was she trying to protect him again?

“Of course. I was completely serious about wanting to marry you, Yuuri. It is true that I had hoped to speak to you to clear the air before a final decision was made, even though meeting you here was a complete coincidence, but I left Russia with the intention of submitting my proposal.” Victor said, making the omega blush to his roots at the genuine confession.

“Oh ho, were you guys making plans to run away together,” Minako teased, feeling more at ease now that she had the whole story. As she started to relax, so did Victor until eventually they were both speaking to each other as friendly acquaintances rather than enemies.

“I would never do that to Yuuri’s family, although I will admit it might be easier to just elope at this point,” Victor said, cocking his head to the side and putting a finger to his lips in contemplation. Yuuri huffed, shaking his head at how impulsive his Alpha was proving to be. He didn’t know what that said about his future as Victor’s omega but a part of him was excited to find out.

“Good answer,” Minako smirked, approving of this Alpha. Yuuri would do well with someone who cared about him enough to defend him but also gave up some of the control. An equal partner.

“We should probably get back or your parents will start to worry,” Minako said with a shrewd grin and then looked at Victor, “And you should too if you want to survive Mari’s wrath,”

Victor nodded, trying to appear unintimidated when in fact he was already fearing her reaction.

“I’m looking forward to our first date,” Victor said bowing respectfully to Yuuri as he was leaving and then waved goodbye. He had no idea how incredibly hard it was going to be, watching as Minako pulled Yuuri away from him yet again, especially when the omega kept looking back at him with a wistful expression. They disappeared and Victor was finally able to take a deep breath, clenching his fists tightly onto Makkachin’s leash.

“Let’s go home, boy,” Victor said and Makkachin barked at him. Victor made it safely out of the cemetery before realizing an extremely important fact.

Perhaps he should have asked Yuuri and Minako directions back to the onsen before they left….

&&

When Victor finally made it back to the onsen, it was well past noon. He’d managed to find someone who spoke enough English to give him directions and ended up he’d power-walking on his way back, wanting to minimize the damage with Mari as quick as possible. Makkachin was panting by the time they arrived so he gave him a large bowl of water and a thorough pat down as an apology.

“I can’t believe you got lost, Hasetsu is not that big,” Mari said, pinching the bride of her nose in exasperation. They were back in his room, Victor sitting on his bed with Makkachin halfway on top of him, lapping up the attention he was receiving from his favorite human while Mari stood a few feet away from him.

Victor shrugged with a cheery smile, a little amused by her reaction since it was very similar to the one Yakov and Yuri gave him on a daily basis. Yakov had once commented on putting a tracker on him after he’d wandered away at competitions, most of them in other countries where he was unfamiliar with the area. Sochi had been the worst.

As soon has he’d gotten back, Mari had barged into his room without any warning, eyes blazing. He let out a startled shriek and then a grunt of pain as he fell over in shock, landing on the floor awkwardly with her standing over him, ready to go in for the kill. Her anger had settled when he told her the truth about getting lost and running into Yuuri and then morphed into the mild irritation that Victor was all too familiar with. She had left briefly to speak with Yuuri to confirm his story and had returned, looking properly chastised.

“Yuuri doesn’t like being manipulated or lied to,” she had said, hinting at the fact that Yuuri had scolded her for not telling him that Victor was in Hasetsu, “Keep that in mind if you want to have any sort of future with him,”

He took it to heart, knowing that he had already screwed up once, he wasn’t about ruin his chances again.

“When will I speak with your parents?” he asked her, hugging Makka for comfort.

“I’ve told them you want to have a private meeting this afternoon and that I will be there to translate for you. They speak very little English. When I told them who you were and what you wanted, they were hesitant to meet with you since they remembered what happened the last time you were here. While they didn’t outright reject the idea of your proposal, I had to talk them into meeting with you so don’t screw this up,” she said harshly, her eyes betraying her. She appeared to have grown fond of him since talking to Yuuri and he couldn’t help but wonder how much the omega had told her about what had happened at the cemetery. Not everything, he hoped. Some things were just better left private. It was a startling realization after dealing with her scorn since he’d arrived.

“Now, let’s get you dressed properly,” she said unexpectedly, throwing a set of robes at him.

“Huh?” he asked, looking down at the clothes in his lap in confusion.

“What? You didn’t think you could just waltz in there looking like that? You want to impress my parents, don’t you?” Mari said with a smirk.

“I-” he started to say something but Mari swiftly cut him off.

“No complaints. You’re the one who showed up in the middle of the night wanting to marry my brother after leaving him for three months. You reap what you sow. Now get up and go take a bath while you’re at it,” she said sounding completely unrepentant and almost like she was enjoying his discomfort just a little too much.

His first thought was that this was the punishment that she had told him about the night before and was determined not to complain about it because he honestly felt like he deserved it for his actions but quickly realized that there was something else going on. There was something grave lurking in her eyes and her actions seemed to be born from desperation rather than cruelty. She moved with an urgency that he didn’t quite understand and it was causing his hackles to raise in suspense, filling him with an uneasy anticipation that left him on edge.

Forcing himself to preserve a levelheaded composure, he took the proffered clothes and made his way to the public bathes, scrubbing two days of travel off of him. The bath was busy this time of day so he washed quickly, absently trying to distract him of thoughts of taking a dip in the hot spring later that day. When he finally made it back to his room, Mari was waiting for him impatiently.

He stayed silent, sensing she wasn’t in the mood to be challenged, though he was a little resentful that Yuuri’s parents seemed to have such a bad opinion of him after he was only trying to help by getting Yuuri the help he needed after he fell on the ice. It was something he would have done for any omega in need, not just Yuuri though he is happy that this was the outcome of their clandestine meeting. As soon as she was done fixing his clothes, she took a step back and gave him one last inspection to make sure everything was in place before forcefully turning him around to look in the mirror.

He stared at his reflection curiously, never having worn a yukata before. The T-shaped robe was open in the front, exposing his slim but muscular chest and he ran a hand through his silver hair as he contemplated how loose the garment felt on him. His clothes didn’t normally feel constricting since he preferred loose and comfortable clothing compared to tight and fashionable but wearing such an airy robe with only his underwear on underneath felt a little like he wasn’t wearing anything at all. The material was light but he couldn’t say what it was made out of. It wasn’t silk yet felt too soft to be cotton based.

Victor smiled, deciding that he liked the feeling and the look of the outfit. Though it wasn’t popular for everyday use anymore, he remembered that day in the market, seeing some of the people who were older wearing similar outfits so he figured that it wasn’t as uncommon as he first assumed.

“You look good in a traditional yukata. Mom and Dad will be impressed,” Mari told him as she watched him admire himself.

Victor ran his hands along the front of the fabric, smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. He had to admit that he always thought he looked his best in these colors, the dark blue and grey obi complimenting his silver hair nicely though the outfit did still look a little plain compared to his own clothing. If he was trying to impress Yuuri’s parents, wouldn’t something a little more intricate do the job?

“Not that I’m complaining but is it really necessary that I wear this to talk to your parents. I’m sure the clothes I brought would have done the job just as nicely,” he asked, thinking of the hour he’d spent going through his entire wardrobe, painstaking picking out outfits that he thought impress Yuuri and his family. All that time wasted, he bemoaned.

She shook her head at him reproachfully, “Showing respect to their tradition, especially as a foreigner, will help them see that you are serious about your proposal. Most Alpha’s are too lazy nowadays. Rarely anyone gives their proposal in person anymore, they merely send a letter in the mail. It’s impersonal. This gives you an edge over the competition and will hopefully make up for misunderstanding that upset my father the last time you were here,” She replied.

“I have competition?” Victor asked startled, having never thought of that. What if her parents thought Yuuri would be better off with someone who was from Japan, who knew their language and customs? Who didn’t have the potential to take him so far away from them?

Mari didn’t hold anything back when she swatted him over the head and he rubbed the point of impact as it throbbed in pain.

“Don’t talk about my brother as if he’s so undesirable that you think you’re the only person who is interested in him,” Mari said, keeping her expression deadpan as she neither confirmed nor denied his question but still disgracing him all the same for his tactless comment.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, genuinely apologetic. He didn’t mean to imply that Yuuri was undesirable for any reason or that he was somehow lacking when in fact he thought quite the opposite.

“Don’t say anything like that in front of my parents or you will be kicked out of this onsen faster than you can believe. My parents are older but they won’t hesitate to kick your ass if you disrespect my brother to their faces,” she warned him both of his sake and Yuuri’s.

Victor nodded solemnly in understanding, slightly flushed due to his mortification.

“Let’s go,” she said, forcing pushing him towards the door, “We don’t want to keep them waiting.”

His room was the closest to a set of stairs that led up into the owner’s living quarters so they didn’t have to go far. He struggled to obediently follow her up the stairs, his legs getting caught by ends of the yukata.

“Small steps,” Mari reminded him quietly. He could guess from her tone and serious expression that they were now entering the family’s private area. It was blocked off by a door at the top of the stairs, locked for privacy. She opened it and led Victor to their private living room, where both her parents were waiting for them, seated at a low table in the middle of the room. Both of them were staring at him, eyes never giving anything away but watching him closely to size him up, making him feel like a bug under a microscope.

Mari briefly stopped him at the doorway, both to give him a moment to prepare before throwing him into the deep end and to remind him of his manners.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” he said bowing exactly like Mari had taught him to. He quietly walked over and kneeled at the table, opposite her parents.

Victor had never before felt so nervous in his life. Even when he was competing, he’d only felt the wash of calm confidence that he was going to win, leaving him in a state of complete relaxation that helped him become a champion. There was never any doubt that he had what it took to win and he often wondered about the nerves that so many of his competitors spoke about, never having felt them himself. So wrapped up in his own self-importance, he had unknowingly and unintentionally looked down on those that did and could only suppose that it was his own conceited pride that was the reason he’d never realized how much of a burden and hardship severe anxiety really it was. His body felt jittery and it was difficult to catch his breath, his bothersome lungs being uncooperative with him.

Mari sent him a look of quick concern and he did his best to shake it off, knowing that he couldn’t let his nerves get the better of him here. Otherwise he was going to lose just more than the chance at a gold medal. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the feeling he got when he was just about to get on the ice in a competition, chasing that certainty of serene tranquility and composure.

Despite his unease, he could now say with complete assurance that he was doing the right thing by leaving Russia and coming back for Yuuri. Because if he had been able to find that same easy composure that he did when he was competing without feeling any level of panic, there would be some doubt as to whether his feelings were true. Now he could say with complete conviction that what he was feeling for Yuuri was not something that was going to pass away in year or so but was going to consume him, body and soul.

And he would willing let it. His acceptance of this fact gave him confidence he needed to begin.

“I’m ready,” he said, turning and smiling serenely at Mari.

Mari gave him an uneasy look but nodded, trusting him to pull himself together when they needed it the most.

Yuuri’s parents were smaller than he remembered, both a little plump but neither considered to be overweight by any means. There were lines around their faces that spoke of both joy and sorrow, reflecting their long lives that had been filled with both happiness and pain. Toshiyo had a stern expression on his face, no doubt thinking that it was daunting to an Alpha and Victor was not going to give him the impression that he was failing at intimidating him. Hiroko sat next to her husband, staring blankly at him. Her hands clenched tightly on her folded knees was the only thing that gave away her unease at his presence, nervous of his dominant presence.

“My daughter has informed me of your intentions and I must admit that I am full of doubt anything will become of this,” Toshiyo started, speaking firmly yet still with an air caution. Mari translated his words with the same gravity that they were spoken with.

“I know this is an unusual request given my heritage and my indecent first impression, which I don’t ever think I ever properly apologized for. However, in light of all this, I would formally like to request your permission for the opportunity to court your son.” Victor replied earnestly, awaiting a response, be it positive or negative.

Both Toshiyo and Hiroko didn’t say anything at first, staring at the silver-haired Alpha in shock.

“A proposal?” Hiroko asked, looking torn between excited and afraid of the prospect. Russia was so far away and they knew little of this Alpha besides what anyone could ever truly know about a celebrity figure. They had a basic understanding of who he was, given his very public appearance and from what Yuuri had told her in the past, idolizing him growing up.

 “No,” Victor corrected, which caused Toshiyo to frown at him doubtfully and Mari to subtly glare at him. He hadn’t told her of this beforehand, knowing that she would only try and talk him out of it. But he was determined to do this the correct way and that started with treating Yuuri like a treasure to be found rather than a prize to be won. In this, he was adamant.

“I would like to proposition a courtship that could potentially lead to a marriage proposal. I know that this is not something that is done very often in Japan but in Russia, I would be honoring my culture to offer a week long courtship to prove to you that I am worthy of your son before I offer any sort of marriage proposal,” He wasn’t completely lying. Courtships had once been very popular in his grandparents lifetime but over time, old traditions gave way to new more restricting ones, a step backward as far as Victor was concerned, “l have no intention of forcing myself on you or him but I do want to be clear that I am serious about this,” Victor clarified, feeling incredibly vulnerable as he opened himself for the first time in years, “It seems a little unorthodox in our society today but I want a partner who loves me just much as I love them. I won’t accept anything less.”

“Ano….” Toshiyo started, seemingly shocked into a brief silence and then hesitated, “You must know… Before I can accept this, you must know that there are some unsavory rumors that are going around about my son. About his… involvement in his late husband’s murder. Yuuri was proven innocent in the courts but just the possibility of it being true has scared away plenty of alphas who would have once been interested in marrying my son. I don’t believe these rumors should impact my son’s worth but your honesty demands me to return the kindness. My wife and I will understand if you choose to rescind your generous offer.” Toshiyo said formally, face shuttered. 

Victor bowed his head, “I would never do your family the dishonor.” He said seriously, which surprised and pleased them both profoundly, “I offer this with the full intention of marrying your son after I have proven myself to you despite the unsightly rumors that have been spread.”

“Your son is the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. I don’t care that he’s been married before and I don’t think that Yuuri should have to prove himself to me any more than what he has already been done. I think he will make me happy just as I hope to make him. But don’t take my word for it. Let me prove it to you in recompense for my actions the first time I was here,” Victor continued. Hiroko had tears in her eyes at the end of it and Toshiyo looked to be in a state not fit for words.

Victor waited patiently as the older beta appeared to mull over his thoughts. Mari was sitting at the edge of her seat, mentally pleading for her dad to accept Victor’s offer.

“I am not obligated to tell you but I think you deserve to know. Another Alpha has put in a bid to marry Yuuri. It was very sudden and because there were no other offers forthcoming, we had already talked about accepting the marriage,” Toshiyo finally said and Victor’s heart skipped a beat.

That couldn’t be true. Had he arrived too late and his beloved was already promised to another? He didn’t think he stomach the idea of Yuuri belonging to anyone else.

“However, in light of your offer of courtship,” Toshiyo continued, offering him genuine smile for the first time, “I think we will hold off on a decision until you have had the chance to convince us that you could make Yuuri happier. That is all I’ve ever wanted for my son. If you can convince us of that, I will give you permission to marry Yuuri. And to be fair, I will offer the other Alpha the same opportunity. Yuuri will court both you and him at the same time and in a week, I will make a final decision,”

Victor let out a small sigh, nodding in acceptance. It was better than outright refusal but he knew he couldn’t afford to slack off now that he’d won this battle. The war was just beginning.

He thanked Yuuri’s parents and Mari led him back downstairs. His legs felt weak and shaky, as if they would collapse right under from ardent relief. Once they were back in the privacy of his room, she didn’t hesitate to punch him in the arm. Hard.

“Owwwww….” He whined, rubbing his throbbing shoulder while looking at Mari with an adorably confused pout that usually got him out of trouble with Yakov.

“That’s for going off script! You scared the hell out of me. I thought you’d completely screwed it up,” she said angrily and then softened the blow with, “I’m grateful for what you said to them about Yuuri. He doesn’t have a lot of control about what happens in his own life and sometimes my parents get so shortsighted, assuming they already know what is best for him, that they completely forget that Yuuri is a person too. I know you’re going to make him happy and I think they will see that very soon,” she smiled at him.

She would enjoy having Victor as a brother-in-law. Victor wasn’t as old fashioned and stuffy as Akihiko had been, happy to give and take punches with her. She felt comfortable speaking her own mind around him, knowing that he wasn’t arrogant enough to throw away her advice and understood the necessity of giving someone else the authority without comprising his pride. In that way, they were both alike and she was beginning to have a soft spot for the silver-haired Alpha.

“I plan to make him _very_ happy,” Victor said smugly, “For the rest of his life,”

Or not. She took it all back, grunting in disgust, “Just remember that’s my brother that you’re talking about. I don’t want to hear about his sex life any more than I have too,” she said.

Victor grinned at her, “No promises,” he teased her and she laughed.

“Why don’t we take one hurdle at a time?” she suggested, wiping a few tears away, “First we have to get my father’s blessing before you can ruin my brother’s innocence,”

Victor smirked but didn’t argue, recognizing the seriousness of the situation.

“About this other Alpha, I don’t know who he is but he does have one advantage over you. I’m assuming he’s local since we don’t get many foreign proposals in Hasetsu. He’s no doubt more familiar to our customs and will use that to his advantage. But you do have me in your corner so I can help you try not to accidentally insult my parents,” Mari continued assertively. Victor remembered his earlier comment about assuming he was the only one interested in Yuuri’s hand in marriage before the meeting and nodded in acceptance. Little things like that didn't seem like they would be important but in the overall scheme to impress Toshiyo, he had to be careful to not let those little blunders add up.

“Good. I’ll ask my parents and get back to you about how this courtship is going to work. They will be busy contacting the other Alpha for now to let him know what happened so we will reconvene tomorrow morning. Take the night to relax a bit, soak in the onsen. But please, and I know it might be difficult given your previous history, please don’t let yourself be alone with Yuuri without a chaperone. I mean it. You have to be on your best behavior this week,” she scolded him and he grinned sheepishly.

“I will try my hardest,” he said, only half joking. Now that he’d gotten the chance to clear up his misunderstanding and apologize for his mistakes, Yuuri was all he could think about. All he wanted to do was track him down and spend more time with him since the omega was still a bit of a mystery. He knew the basics; his age, his favorite food, his passion for ice skating but he wanted to know more.

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion but she finally sighed and left him alone with his dog, needing to get back to work. He laid down on the bed, cuddling with Makkachin while he thought of what he and Yuuri could do for their first date. He’d mentioned going to get ramen at the cemetery but he wanted to make it special, something that Yuuri would remember for the rest of their lives together. It wasn’t as hard as he first thought to come up with an idea and by the time he was done planning he was smiling in glee, knowing the perfect activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully what's he's planning isn't too hard to figure out. ;) Victor originally wasn't supposed to confess in this chapter but after I wrote it, I couldn't figure out how to rewrite it without having to change significant part of the next chapter so I left it alone. BUT the next chapter is when all the fun begins. You'll finally get to meet the competition. Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. I'm trying to get better at responding to them.
> 
> **8/12/17** I found some grammar and spelling mistakes that I went in and edited. Nothing big.


	8. Delicious Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned, there is a long but important authors note!
> 
> This chapter was supposed to include their first date but then I started writing and the story got away from me. Seven pages later, I realized it wasn’t going to happen. Why do I always do this to myself?! Next time. 
> 
> Also, I went back and rewrote the first and parts of the second chapter because I realized that, when I first started writing this story, I had a different direction that I wanted to take and when that changed, there were some plot holes that people were kind enough not to point out in the first chapter that did not add app and will not add up in future chapters. It’s still mostly the same but I added and changed a few minor things.
> 
> I can't help but feel like I am misrepresenting Yuuri's parents in my writing, making them seem much eviler than I intended them to be. I like Yuuri's parents in the show so it was a surprise to see how much I vilified them. There's going to be a confrontation with them which I hope will clear everything up and make everyone satisfied. 
> 
> All I will say about Yuuri's parents right now is that I have a plan for them. I honestly didn't mean to make them so hated but I can see how people can interpret their actions as mean or abusive. In some ways they are but you have to remember that they are a product of their society and the society I've built in my story is a lot darker than ours, that deals with the complete oppression of an entire class of people. I'm not excusing or saying that their actions are justified but I am just saying that they are not the worst that Yuuri could have been dealt with. Yuuri will get a resolution that I've hoping people will be happy with.
> 
> Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement. This chapter took a little longer than I meant it to. Cheers!

This was a special kind of torture, Yuuri decided as he paced the length of his room in distress, waiting for news that would potentially change his entire life. His stomach was all tied up in knots, twisting and churning what was left of his breakfast and his chest ached where his heart was beating so fast that it felt ready to burst. The suspense of not knowing what was happening was driving him crazy.

He’d spoken to Mari briefly when he returned from the cemetery—his weekly commute to make sure his late husband’s grave stayed tidy—to explain both his and Victor’s unexpected meeting and to chide her about keeping his arrival a secret from him. He’d felt _slightly_ guilty when she explained that he had only arrived late last night and there hadn’t been much time to tell him but he could tell that it was only half of the truth. As much as Mari didn’t want to admit it in fear of his ire, he could tell that she was trying to protect him if Victor’s return had turned out to be a fluke.

There was a sense of foreboding in the air around the onsen, caused by both his parents’ apprehension at Victor’s sudden arrival, though Yuuri didn’t quite understand why. It was possible that they still felt threatened by the younger Alpha because of the debacle after he’d fallen on the ice, though Yuuri still held the firm belief that his father had overreacted over the whole incident. As far as he could tell, Victor had shown no sign of aggression towards his family when he’d brought him back to the onsen but he had been unconscious and bleeding at the time, so he couldn’t say for sure. It was his father’s mulish pride that was to blame for his absolute refusal to apologize for the misunderstanding. Yuuri often wondered if his dad really was beta somedays since he acted like an overbearing Alpha when it came to his children, stubborn and overprotective.

His parents had both tried to hide their uneasiness for his benefit, but it was clear that something was upsetting the two of them. Yuuri pretended to be ignorant of the situation, going about his day as if it were any other, like the good little omega he was supposed to be. They kept shooting him unreadable looks all morning while he went about his chores, having been informed by Mari about Victor’s intentions. He’d wanted keep busy to stop his mind from wandering, worrying about what was to come.

His mother had stopped him to make sure he’d had breakfast before leaving to speak privately with his father upstairs in his personal study, where they handled all the book keeping and the daily expenses of running your own business. It was also where his father kept his personal library, a large collection of books ranging from both western and eastern philosophies, Greek classics and a surprising amount of contemporary mystery novels. His father had once aspired to becoming a police detective but he never spoke of why he decided to quit and resume running his family’s business.

Yuuri remembered the nights when his father would shut himself in there by himself, reading his books when he and his mother weren’t talking to each other. They never fought in front of him or Mari, always presenting a united front, but they had their disagreements. Those disagreements never lasted more than a few days since they were both devoted to their marriage vows and loved each other very much. But when the door to his study was shut and his mother had that particular crease in her brow, something important was happening. The study was where his parents went to speak about serious matters that was not meant for their children’s ears and it was also where his father had called him in to tell him he was marrying Akihiko.

Earlier today, in a moment of recklessness caused by his impatience to know what was going to happen, he’d silently crept up near the door and tried to eavesdrop on their conversation but immediately fled in fear of getting caught when a floorboard creaked under his foot. Now, knowing that his parents were in there with Victor and Mari to decide his future, did his impatience turn into worry.

What if his dad said no? What would he do then?

He was startled out of his restless pacing when he heard a plaintive whine and scratch at his bedroom door. His worrisome thoughts scattered like marbles and he turned in surprise to see the outline of Victor’s dog at his door, begging to come in. He opened his door curiously and Makkachin sniffed curiously at Yuuri’s feet for a few seconds before moving onto his desk, eager to explore a new place. He made snuffling and snorting sounds as he continued to inspect his room and Yuuri laughed when he sneezed at the dust in the crevice between his nightstand and his bookcase, lifting his head briefly before moving onto his closet.

“How did you get up here?” Yuuri asked in amusement. Makkachin turned to look at him briefly before deciding that his room was efficiently ‘explored’ and made his way over to his bed to make himself comfortable, climbing up and laying down on the soft comforter with a wide toothy yawn.

“Mari must have left the door open again.” He said, talking to himself and walked over, sitting down next to the fluffy poodle. Makkachin nuzzled closer, resting his head on Yuuri’s lap and one of his paws on his thigh.

“I’m glad you seem to approve of me,” Yuuri said with a soft smile. He’d always wanted a dog growing up. When he was younger, he’d asked his parents for a poodle like Makkachin but one week after getting Vicchan, they’d discovered that he was allergic. He’d been devastated when his parents said the dog had to go live with someone else but years later, after he’d grown out of his allergy, he’d never thought of trying to get another dog. Now it seemed like he was getting a second chance.

One thing was for sure. He felt much better now that he had somebody to wait with, giving him a distraction from his anxiety. He silently pet Makkachin on the back of the head, paying special attention to the spot behind his ears and Makkachin let out a happy moan. His tail made a thumping sound as it wagged against the white comforter on his bed.

Petting Makkachin was soothing to his nerves. So soothing that he wasn’t aware of the time passing by.

“I see you’ve made a friend,” he heard someone say and he looked up to see Mari standing in his open doorway, watching him with an affectionate smile on her face.

“You’re the one who left the door open,” Yuuri countered, his stomach clenching in renewed worry at seeing his sister, knowing that the meeting must be over by now. He stood up to meet her, jostling Makkachin from his comfortable nap.

“So…” he paused, swallowing nervously, “What’s the verdict?”

“Sit back down Yuuri, please. There’s something I have to tell you.” She ordered softly, with an unreadable expression on her face. He didn’t like the sound of that.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Yuuri mumbled, wondering if he should take her advice that was carefully worded as an order. It was light enough that it didn’t trigger any of his submissive instincts and he knew Mari would never enforce him to follow any of her orders. So he chose to remain standing and she sighed, walking over and sitting herself down in the chair by his desk. Her fingers twitched agitatedly and Yuuri knew she was itching to light up a cigarette, a habitual stress response.

“There’s something I haven’t told you yet. I was trying to buy some time while I talked dad out of his decision but I guess that doesn’t matter now. You received a letter of proposal yesterday from another Alpha,” She started and Yuuri sucked in a breath, holding it in when he had trouble releasing it. He fell back down on the bed with a stricken expression on his face, his naturally pale face turning an unnatural shade of white. Makkachin sat up, sensitive to the sinking shift of mood in the room and licked the side of his face to comfort him. Yuuri gently pushed him away and Makkachin let out a somber whine, laying his head back down in the omega’s lap.

This changed everything.

“Mom and dad are going to say no, right? I’m marrying Victor?” He knew he sounded a little desperate, but they had been so close to getting what he wanted, and he felt dizzy with the realization that it all might be for naught.

“Yuuri…” She hesitated, clearly unhappy to have to deliver such news. Their parents would no doubt come in to tell him after everything was official but she wanted to be the one to tell him first, to prepare him for the shock of it all and let him react the way he wanted to in private, instead of how he was expected to.  

“Stop stalling and just tell me!” Yuuri cried, her hesitance only making things worse.

“Victor didn’t propose a marriage,” she admitted and if he’d felt desperate before, now he felt gutted.

Victor had told him that he wanted to court before marrying but now that he knew someone else was vying for his hand, he just wanted to marry Victor and get it all over with. No more waiting, no more stalling. He didn’t want to live with the uncertainty of knowing that he might have to marry someone else, someone who he didn’t know or care for.

“What did he say?” he asked, playing ignorant to Victor’s motives.

“He proposed a courtship. They are going to both take you out on chaperoned dates and then dad is going to choose who you are going to marry by the end of the week.” Mari was quick to explain, and he supposed he should have felt better at hearing that Victor still had a chance, but he felt numb instead.

“So it might not be Victor?” He asked, his voice sounding small and far away. Mari got up and walked to him, dropping down to her knees in front of him. She took both of his hands in hers and gripped them firmly. He hadn’t noticed till now how bad he was shaking and it helped, giving him an anchor to hold onto in the rising storm.

“Yes.” She said, squeezing his trembling hands tightly.

“Who is it? It’s almost been a year since Akihiko died. Why now? Why wait this long if they wanted to marry me?” His chest felt tight and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

“I don’t know. Mom and Dad wouldn’t say. I’m sure we’ll find out soon though. Dad went to go call him and explain everything. They’ll probably set up some sort of introductory lunch,” She responded, looking worried for his state of mind. His breathing was tight but his face had regained some of its color so she knew it wasn’t causing him any serious harm. Unless he appeared out of control, she wouldn’t interfere and let him work through it on his own. 

“Don’t worry, Yuuri. You know I hate to give him credit but Victor seems to know what he’s doing.” Mari said giving him a reassuring smile.

Yuuri let out a shuddering breath and nodded, trying to appear calm when he was anything but. He took deep, slow breaths to try and get a handle on his erratic breathing, while still feeling the urge to get up and start pacing all over again. He was so jumpy that he couldn’t stay still.

“I’ll be fine. I should get back to work. My break is over. Besides, don’t you have somewhere else to be today?” He reminded her with a small grin, wanting to appear normal. Mari would never leave if she thought something was wrong.

“I’ll make sure Makkachin gets back downstairs,” he added when it seemed like Mari didn’t appear to believe him. She stood up with a sigh and reluctantly gave into his pleading demands, respecting his privacy. She kissed him on the head, “I’ll be here if you want to talk. Rest if you need too. Mom and Dad won’t mind,” she said seriously.

“I’m fine, Mari.” He repeated stubbornly, and she shook her head at him before leaving. It was one of her rare days off and before Victor had arrived, she had planned on going out with a group of her friends from school. She didn’t take many days off, even when she was owed them, so he wasn’t about to ruin it for her by making a fuss. He could handle himself for a few hours.

He waited until Mari had left Yutopia before venturing downstairs to look for Victor, Makkachin following at his heels. Victor wasn’t in his room when he checked and he wasn’t in the main dining room. He peeked into the Alpha’s bathroom and didn’t see him. No one was currently in the hot springs, so he checked the grounds as a last resort. If Victor wasn’t here, he’d left the onsen entirely.

He heard him before he saw him, standing a few feet away from the shed underneath his window that he used to sneak out of the house to go skate at night. His back was turned to Yuuri and his hands were cupped near his mouth, shouting words in Russian he couldn’t understand with Makkachin’s name mixed in. He must have assumed when he came back down that Makkachin had gotten out and was looking for him.

Makkachin obediently ran over when he was called and Victor let out a cry of relief, kneeling down in the dirt to hug the big brown poodle with no regards to his clean slacks that he had changed into after meeting with Yuuri’s parents. Dirty pants could be cleaned but no one could replace his beloved Makkachin. He looked up to see Yuuri standing a few feet away, watching their reunion with teary eyes.

Yuuri didn’t understand why he was so emotional at seeing Victor but the sight of ashen haired alpha broke something in him.

 “Yuuri? What’s—” Victor started to ask if the omega was alright, standing up to greet him but let out a surprised ‘oomph’ when the omega ran over and threw himself into his arms without any warning or provocation, bursting into frenzied tears.

Victor didn’t know what was wrong but the pungent scent of a distressed omega immediately sent his instincts into overdrive, scanning the area for an immediate threat. When he couldn’t find anything, he focused on the omega trembling in his arms. Yuuri’s hands slipped down to steady himself on the plane of Victor’s chest, clenching tightly onto the fabric of his shirt.

Yuuri was barely hanging onto his sensibility by a thread. He was sad, he was worried, he was angry and his body couldn’t contain it all. It was bursting at the seams with all the emotion that wanted out, stretching and stretching like a balloon ready to rupture. Like everything else in his life, it didn’t seem fair to him. Just when his life was looking up, his ongoing streak of bad luck had come to tear it all down. What little hope he had left was crumbling at his feet in a pile of rubble and desolation, and he couldn’t stop himself from taking it out on the closest person available.

“Why didn’t you just propose to marry me? Why did you have to be so noble?” he shouted, violently shoving Victor away, wrapping his arms around himself as he succumbed to his desperation fueled hysteria. Victor grabbed him by the elbow and quickly pulled him inside the shed before anyone overheard them and came to investigate the noise, making sure to pull the light switch cord so that they could still see each other and shut the door behind them. He didn’t want anyone misunderstanding the situation again. The last thing they both needed was someone telling Toshiyo that he had hurt Yuuri or worse, see his son’s breakdown for himself.

The shed was fairly small, only large enough to fit the tools their gardener needed in order to take care of the grounds surrounding the onsen. There was an overpowering aroma of sawdust and wet dirt but it was the perfect solution in order to give them some privacy to sort out whatever had sent Yuuri into such distress.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad. I thought this what you wanted, Yuuri?” Victor said, gently holding Yuuri’s arms down so that he would stop struggling. Victor was taller and stronger than him, so it wasn’t hard to take control of the troubled omega.

“What I want is to be with you! Not him! What if my dad chooses the other Alpha?” Yuuri responded, his eyes clouded over in panic, still stuck in the throes of a violent fight or flight response. Victor thought of trying to use dominance on the omega but immediately rejected it, knowing it might in fact make things worse. That was a trick he’d have to use sparingly with Yuuri as a worst-case scenario alternative, remembering what Mari had told him this morning.  

Instead he pulled Yuuri into his arms, tucking his face into the crook of Victor’s neck and wrapped his arms around the shivering omega. He held him until he felt Yuuri start to settle down, knowing that merely the presence of an Alpha would go along way towards helping soothe him.

A cold calm washed over Yuuri as he took in the Alphas scent, making him a little woozy from the affects. He took a deep breath, feeling calmer and calmer the more he breathed. When Yuuri’s breathing finally evened out and he stopped his incessant shaking, Victor pulled far enough away that he was able to see how his eyes were once again clear, making sure he had his full attention before speaking. The Alpha brought a hand up and caressed the side of Yuuri’s face, looking deep into his eyes.

“Yuuri, listen to me. Even if I had proposed marriage, your dad could have still chosen the other Alpha over me. This way I can prove to him that I’m the right person for you,” Victor reminded him calmly, showing a depth of maturity that he didn’t often let other people see. It was easier to be the laze about, the mysterious alpha who never took anything seriously but this was Yuuri. If he couldn’t be himself with his omega, than they weren’t marrying for the right reasons.

“You have to try to understand the situation from their point of view,” he continued, “I’m an unknown Alpha, coming from far away with nothing to prove to them that I could take care of you except my word. Once they sign the documents, they have no control over what I do with you. I could take you away and never let you see them again. I could hurt you and they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.” Victor reminded him.

Marriage was an ironclad binding contract and nothing except a court order could counteract it. And those weren’t given out easily. You had to have solid proof of extreme abuse that could lead to permanent disfigurement or death and evidence was easily tampered with. Right now, Toshiyo and Hiroko had all the power but once Yuuri was married, they would lose all rights when it came to his safety and livelihood. And unlike with Akihiko, they had nothing to assure them that they were making the right decision. That was a lot of pressure to put on someone.

“What if you lose?” Yuuri’s voice was so small and insecure that it squeezed Victor’s poor heart. He shook his head and laughed humorously, raising one of his sliver eyebrows. He brushed some of Yuuri’s dark hair out of his face and then leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“Yuuri... you should know by now, I never lose. And I’m not going to stop fighting for you just because I have some competition.” He said smugly. On the contrary, he thrived in a competitive atmosphere, finding that it brought out the best in him. There was a promise hidden in his words, one that he intended to keep.

Victor shouldn’t have sounded as endearing as he did but the confidence in his tone made Yuuri’s heart flutter uncontrollably. He’d never felt like this intense attraction for anyone until Victor had appeared in his life like a whirlwind, sweeping him off his feet and giving him a taste of a love he’d always wanted. Victor was like a fresh spring breeze, bringing new life into his dull existence.

Before he knew what he was doing, Yuuri reached up and pulled the older man down into a possessive kiss, almost violent in its intensity. His arms were tightly wrapped around his neck with no intention of letting him go.

Victor was startled but didn’t hesitate to respond. The omega’s lips were incredibly soft and invitingly kissable. He shoved Yuuri back against the flat wall of the shed, hiking the smaller man up in his arms. Yuuri took that as an invitation to wrap his legs around the Alpha’s waist to anchor himself, their hips dragging together deliciously, which Victor turned into a series of erratic thrusts.

Yuuri let out a keening cry at the contact, his head thrown back against the wall as he presented his neck as a sign of lustful submission. Victor trailed nibbling kisses down the soft skin, causing the omega to gasp and moan as so many new emotions occupied the empty spaces in his heart. It had never felt like this with Akihiko, even during his heats. The arousal was there but the usual desperation to be knotted was not, leaving him with a burning need to be satisfied that had nothing to do with the physical act of mating for the sake of reproduction. This was something new, something so powerful that Yuuri couldn’t control himself, bowing down to the onslaught of these new emotions.

When Victor reached the pale skin on the soft spot of his shoulder between his neck and clavicle, his instincts told him to bite down harder, to leave his claim on this omega for everyone else to see. But to do so would be the worst of transgressions, one even worthy of time in prison if Toshiyo filed for criminal charges. Not only did he not have permission from his caretaker but Yuuri had also not properly given his consent. Giving him a mating mark right now would be the worst violation of trust that Victor abided by, even if the results were potentially temporary.

He tore his lips away from the delicious temptations of Yuuri’s neck and drew him into another passionate kiss, licking at his lips with a desire that was going to consume him. The space between their bodies was almost nonexistent, their arousals evident through the thin barrier of their pants.

“We shouldn’t do this. We’ll be in so much trouble if we’re caught. And I promised Mari that I wouldn’t be alone with you until all this is over,” Victor said, some semblance of rationality breaking through. Victor showed no signs of stopping despite his words and Yuuri didn’t even hear him at first, lost in the novelty of his newly unrestrained arousal.

It was good ole’ faithful Makkachin who came to their rescue once again, barking loudly at a squirrel hiding in one of the trees outside the shed, dousing both of their passions as if a bucket of water had been dumped on them. Victor ripped himself away, pulling Yuuri’s legs from around his waist and setting him back down on the ground.

He closed his eyes and let out a harsh frustrated growl as he fought to control himself, lest he take Yuuri in the dark, dingy confines of the gardeners shed. Not only was it dangerous for them to be caught like this but it also wasn’t a very romantic location for their first time together. Yuuri deserved better than that and it was that thought that helped him regain control of himself.

He could hear Yuuri panting in the semi-darkness, sliding down the wall to the floor as his wobbly legs gave way under him, collapsing on his butt. Seeing Yuuri so open and ready to be devoured was a struggle and he took a step back, opening the door a crack to let in some fresh air. Their combined scents were saturating the air, leaving no doubt as to anyone who came across them as to what they were about to do.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get that far,” Victor said, sounding tortured. His fist were clenched tightly but he unconsciously relaxed when Yuuri let out a laugh, smiling widely up at him with shining eyes.

“As far as first kisses go, that was spectacular,” Yuuri said, tearing up in happiness. He felt floaty and high from all the endorphins racing through him, so he held out a hand. Victor helped him up to his feet and he only stumbled slightly. Yuuri couldn’t stop beaming and for the first time in his life, he was so giddy and excited about the thought of marrying someone. 

“I’m glad I could be of service,” Victor teased, loving the sight of Yuuri’s smile after knowing how upset the omega was only a short while ago. He was glad that he could put that smile back on Yuuri’s face, wanting to chase away all his worries and fears.

“Your right about not being alone together anymore though. I don’t even want to consider the consequences if we were to get caught. No more impromptu meetings at the cemetery or the marketplace. Or the shed…” Yuuri added, eyes sparkling with mirth.

Victor nodded, “I don’t want to give your dad any more reason to dislike me. He already has a vendetta against me that I’m not so sure I actually deserve,” he said, though he didn’t sound happy about it.

“You’re showing interest in his youngest child, who is also an omega. And he doesn’t dislike you. If he did, you’d have never been allowed to stay past the first night. He would have politely kicked you out at first light with a recommendation for another hotel nearby. He’s just being overly protective of me and this is his way of showing it.” Yuuri said comfortingly, patting Victor on the shoulder.

“We should get out of here,” He reluctantly suggested, and Victor didn’t know how it was possible to already miss Yuuri even though he hadn’t left yet.

“You first, just in case there is anyone out there. Let me know if the coast is clear,” Victor said seriously.

Yuuri nodded. It was a good idea. If there was anyone out there, he could always say he was putting away his tools he used to tend his small tea and herb garden. But he couldn’t help himself. Before Victor could properly respond, Yuuri quickly planted a chase kiss on his lips and then fled the safety of the shed with an embarrassed blush, leaving the Alpha in a dazed stupor.

Victor pressed the tips of his fingers to his tingling lips and smiled fondly, imagining a time when he could kiss Yuuri freely. He was going to spoil him with a million kisses when he got the chance.

Mari gave him both suspicious and condemning glances when she got home later that night, seeing the line of red marks that Victor had left on Yuuri’s pale neck. She helped her brother cover them up before his parents saw them, ranting about the fact that she couldn’t even leave them alone for one afternoon without them getting into trouble.

Victor should’ve felt guilty for breaking the one rule that Mari had asked of him but he felt proud seeing Yuuri wearing his mark, even if it would fade in a few days. He could only anxiously wait for the day that he could make it more permanent.  

&&

Toshiyo and Hiroko came to tell him the news later that night, calling him into the study once more. He nodded and gave the appropriate responses while they let him know the what the plan was, though he was having a hard time appearing subdued when all he wanted to do was smile and dance around them like a small child on Christmas morning.

He was going to have four dates altogether, two for each Alpha and one of them had to be a mandatory dinner with the family. Mari had volunteered to be the chaperone for the two dates that weren’t going to be hosted at the onsen and had enlisted Minako to keep an eye on the troublesome duo.

Today was Sunday. Victor would take him out tomorrow and Wednesday and the other Alpha would take him out on Tuesday and Thursday. Toshiyo would then make a decision on Friday. They both still refused to tell him who the other Alpha was but Yuuri didn’t really care anymore, trusting that Victor knew what he was doing. His parents were pleased with his positive response and he left with a skip in his step to go help Mari fold the laundry for housekeeping, unable to hide his grin now that he was away from his parent’s scrutiny.

“Stop smiling or your going to give yourself away!” Mari said, though there was little heat in her tone.

She was thrilled to see how unbearably happy Yuuri was. It was an amazing change from the previous months of doom and gloom that had taken over her brother, and although she was disappointed that they’d met up in secret again—and apparently done more than _just talk_ considering the hickies that she had to help Yuuri hide— it had been a long time since she’d seen him smile like this. She didn’t approve of their actions all but figured Yuuri was getting the chance to act like the rebellious teenager he never got to be since his life had been stolen from him at thirteen years old.

The last time she could remember him so happy had been before he’d presented, his little eyes sparkling after he’d put on his ice skates for the first time. He’d gotten the idea after meeting Yuuko in ballet class and they’d decided to go to Ice Castle as a family to see if it was something he’d want to try. Hiroko had been so worried about him after watching him fall so many times and Toshiyo figured he’d lose interest like so many kids his age did. But Mari never gave up on him, watching with pride how he picked himself right back up every time, his chubby cheeks pink from the cold. After that one outing, he’d become determined to become a figure skater.

“Sorry,” Yuuri replied, schooling his expression into forced nonchalance but he was only able to hold it for so long, breaking into a wide toothy grin.

“You’re such a dork,” she said ruffling his hair like she used to when he was a kid. They both burst into a fit of giggles at the silliness of the situation and Mari figured that whoever could make Yuuri smile like this, was okay in her book. Victor had her blessing but now she could wholeheartedly say that he was the _right_ Alpha for her brother and that wasn’t something she could admit easily.

Tomorrow would be the start of the battle for Yuuri’s happiness and she was going to fight to keep that smile on his face, hopefully for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. :) Next time, the date we've all been waiting for...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think. I enjoy writing Yuuri because is just a bundle of anxiety and I can totally relate to that.


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